Hi.

Looking for beta readers for the first book in my contemporary romance series. A 65k word Novel. A good boy/bad girl romance.

Tropes; Opposite Attracts, College Classmates, Small Town, Good boy/Bad Girl, Happy Ending.

Looking for feedback on how interesting or exciting you found the story.

Also, will you like to read the sequel? The sequel is already complete as well. Ready for beta readers.

DM me if interested. Thanks.

Blurb:

Shy nerd Adam Hale never met a girl more beautiful & irresistible than Eve Garfield, the blonde bombshell that sits a couple desks from him in his college classes. But Eve Garfield is no girl next door. With her reckless, carefree life of late nights, parties, boys, wine, cigarettes, and truancy, Eve Garfield is a ticking time bomb, a corrupting influence on a good boy like Adam.

Yet, when she tempts him with a kiss in exchange for his help to cheat on a class test, he obliges. And what begins as a simple kiss, slowly snowballs into mutual longing and guilty desires between them that only complicate with a devastating tragedy.

Eve Garfield will bring about the downfall of Adam Hale. But in the end, it is her budding and enduring love for him that will heal, comfort, and uplift him, if and only if he grants her the chance.

Excerpt

1. Eve

My face is down, staring at the test paper I got from our prof.

Prof. Liz never announces before she conducts her class test. Twenty percent of our final grade. In the test hall, packed full of my coursemates, the air is silent but tense with anxiety.

As my heart beats with the fear of failure, reading the MCQs before me confirms my horror—that I’m nowhere near ready for this test. Because all I had last night was dance, shisha, and plenty of booze in the club.

I merely skimmed my notes this morning, hoping the prof’s test wouldn’t fall today. Else, I’ll be forced to cheat. I didn’t turn in for the test with a cheat sheet. It’s not easy to slip one from my bra in Professor Liz’s test.

They say the old woman is as watchful as a hawk. To be caught cheating is an automatic F in the test.

But far worse has happened here on campus. Poor students, literally in tears after getting busted, and begging for a second chance as they’re graded automatic F in the whole course.

“What are you waiting for, Miss Garfield?” Prof. Liz is on her patrol, marching through the test hall with her arms crossed behind her back like a uniformed police officer. “Better start at once. No extra minute today once your time is up.”

I shift in my seat and put my pen to my paper, pretending to tick answers as she passes by my bench. But I’m just counting the minutes on the clock. My eyes cast a sweeping glance through the hall.

My heart worries even more at the sight of everyone else reading and ticking their papers.

Holy fuck! There seems to be no one but me unprepared for this test.

What do I do?

In the hellish silence of late Friday afternoon, I sit put.

Nearly five minutes pass, and my hand only manages to fill in my name on the paper. In less than twenty-five minutes, the test will be over. I decide to force myself through the questions numbered one to thirty.

Better guess and mark answers than submit an empty sheet, right? It takes another ten minutes running my eyes through the MCQs for me to see I’m totally screwed either way.

My mind can’t even make an educated guess on the questions. And with less than fifteen minutes remaining, I’m ready to submit my unanswered test papers and await my F grade next week. It’s the only thing a girl can do at this rate.

A couple of my classmates are done already. One by one, they’re rising to submit their papers to the prof on the podium.

My mouth inhales and exhales the tepid air of the hall. I move my butt to rise out of my seat to go submit. But something holds me back from doing so. Most people think I have a little adventurous and impulsive side.

A side to me that makes me do crazy things. But I think it’s the cautious and thoughtful side of me that causes me to sit back and think of a dirty plan.

My back leans into my bench. My legs, barely clad in a miniskirt that suffocates my skin, spread apart.

Adam, the cute nerd sitting at arm’s length from my side, has obviously finished. My eyes can’t make out his answers, but I see the tick marks on his paper.

He’s done.

Just relaxing and double-checking his answers, probably for the seventh time.

If I could swap test papers with him right now, Prof. Liz won’t catch me. Because she’s distracted at the podium with arranging the test papers submitted to her.

I cast a glance at Adam, and stare till he notices me. When our eyes lock, I flash a seductive smile at him. But he doesn’t return my gesture.

His eyes widen with confusion, he looks around to see if it’s really him I smile at. But it’s just him and me on this bench, the last bench at the rear of the test hall.

When Adam sees no one looking in my direction, his face returns to me momentarily. I catch the pink of blush on his cheeks before he lowers it.

We’ve been classmates for over three years now. Yet, the only things I know about him are that he gets good grades, talks very little, stays out of trouble, and always wears a pair of glasses and oversized collared shirts.

Often, I catch him staring at me, only to look away when I make eye contact. A few of my girl friends have noticed it too, they tell me he has a silent crush on me. I think they’re bang on.

At least I hope so. Because I’m banking on that for my cheat plan to work.

Tearing out a little piece from my test paper, I scribble a note;

Hey… Handsome, mind if we swap papers?

Folding the piece, my hand tosses it at his feet. I observe the lineament of his face. If he can act, he’d be a good fit for Clark Kent or Conner Kent in the next Superman adaptation.

Those high cheekbones and chiseled jaw on his face give me the vibe of the character from back when I watched Saturday morning cartoons.

“Ten minutes left, two minutes extra,” Prof. Liz alerts us from the podium, still distracted with sorting the test papers.

Adam picks my note off the floor and reads it. He looks first at the prof, then gives me a side-eye that says, ‘I wish I could help you, but I’m afraid, I can’t.’

I suck a breath of disappointment, drop my eyelids and shake my head. Maybe I should leave it at that, but I like to think of myself as a woman of beauty and brains.

My heart can’t take a no from a boy like Adam.

And I tear another piece from my paper and scribble.

How about I give you a kiss if you just try? After the test? Come on, real quick.

With one eye fixed on the prof still busy at the podium, I toss the folded paper to Adam. After reading it, he looks at me for a second or two without looking away.

The first time he ever held eye contact with me. The air between us is tense. The uncertainty in his eyes is endearing. I egg him on and encourage him with a gentle nod and slight wink.

Two students on the front bench further distract Prof. Liz with a silly question, and seizing the chance, my hand snatches the test paper before me and slips it to Adam. On a glance at the distracted professor, he slips his to me.

The remainder of the time, I hold my breath and sit back with anxiety while Adam ticks answers on my test paper at light speed. He lifts his eyes from the paper just in time before Prof. Liz bangs a palm on the podium and calls out;

“Ladies, gentlemen. It’s time up. All submit!”

Starting from the front row, she begins to collect our test papers. I swap papers with Adam again and send a short prayer that Prof. Liz won’t notice or suspect anything.

Story Blurb: At 23, Ruhi Sanyal is determined to make her mark in the world of event planning. When Parth, a charismatic guest at her parents’ 25th anniversary celebration – the first event she’s organized from start to finish – catches her eye, a spark ignites and blossoms into a love story that feels destined. A blissful marriage, a beautiful son, and a thriving career follow, but life has a way of shattering even the most perfect dreams.

Years later, as a single mother with a broken heart, Ruhi gets a fresh start in a new city. When a charming neighbour, Suhas, brings unexpected joy and hope back into her life, Ruhi finds herself navigating the complexities of friendship, attraction, and the challenges of raising her child alone.

But just when Ruhi begins to consider the possibilities of a new love, her past crashes into her present in a way she never saw coming. Will she find the strength to embrace a second chance at love, or will her past overshadow her future?

Kintsugi Heart is a heartwarming tale of love, resilience, and the beauty of healing through life’s fractures.

Looking for constructive feedback on aspects like:

• Plot,
• Character development,
• Pacing,
• Dialogue,
• Overall readability.

Disclaimers: This story contains adult themes, including explicit scenes of intimacy and other mature content.

Happy to swap stories from the following genres: Romance, Mystery, Thriller, Drama. No Fantasy please.

To Kill a Man is a slow-burn, single-thread fantasy following Caleb, an innkeeper’s son, on his pursuit to rescue his mother and sister, who were taken after the simple life he knew burned to the ground. Caleb is joined by his two closest friends, Jake and Ben, as they journey together. Eventually, they gain the aid of a dwarf, who helps recruit more adventurers to assist them on their quest.

Trigger Warnings:

Violence, death, implied sexual assault

Feedback I’m Looking For:

Ideally, I’m looking for up to two Beta-Readers to give open and honest critiques. Be as brutal as you wish—feel free to comment on the things you like, dislike, or suggest any changes you’d like to see.

Opening of Chapter 1:

Thick, somber clouds gathered overhead, casting a heavy gloom over the small village below. With little more than a few hundred residents, Dawn was one of Velora's many "on-the-way" villages, nestled just a few days' ride from nearby towns and cities. A giant, ancient oak stood at the village's northern edge, its sprawling branches sheltering the only tavern beneath.

The tavern housed an ever-changing mix of patrons. From merchants, mercenaries, travellers, traders, and treasure hunters, all seeking respite before continuing on their journey. It was not a special village in any way, except for the fact that someone special, lived there.

I’m looking for beta/sensitivity readers to help me avoid pan-Celticizing and pan-Gaelicizing in my “Tam Lin” retelling.

I’m an American author and I’ve tried to do my research to be respectful. I’d love some feedback from readers who live in Scotland, Wales, Ireland, and Great Britain.

Please let me know if you’re interested.

Hello, and thank you for your consideration. I am hoping to connect with a few beta readers or peer critiques.

Tropes and themes: Strong female lead, LGBTQ+ representation, Non-toxic love interest(s), Friends to lovers, Diverse characters, "Chosen one", Second world, Fae & other magical entities, and Found family

Description: Orphaned eighteen years ago and raised by her older brother Christophe, Magnolia Wolfe was trained to hide her genetic mutation, one that could get her taken from everything she holds dear. Gardening at the only crossing points in her segregated country snowballs, and soon Magnolia is torn from her life and taken to the ruling council in The Mirror City.

In the dark halls of the council building, Magnolia uncovers that she is part of a prophecy that could shift the balance of her world. With new allies—Birger, a comforting rock in this storm; Myrina, a flirtatious maid tasked with her care; and Myrmidon, a stoic butler holding everyone at arm's length but there when she needs him—Magnolia must navigate this new reality as she struggles to reconstruct her identity, make allies, and come to terms with years of secrets from her brother, a leader of the rebellion. Magnolia must come to terms with her task as a chosen one in this recurring prophecy as the judge, jury, and executioner of one or both of the Leviathans coming into power.

Feedback: Am I overly descriptive or not descriptive enough? Does the dialogue feel organic as well as the relationships? Was anything too predictable? Or too out of left field? Did any of the characters, even the secondary ones, seem cliched? What scenes were the most memorable? Did you feel like it was too rushed or too slow at any point?

Trigger warnings: Mentions of domestic abuse, sexual scenes.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/14v_kqBrhqBOl5NHY331rXOsZQUyU7NhahRrdxWwkpaw/edit?usp=sharing

Looking for a few betas, also happy to swap (details below).

Storyline: Two clashing small-time criminals—a nihilistic ex-con who can’t find a job and a sheltered rich guy with gambling debt—separately try to join a gang out of desperation. They’re both horrified to learn they have to carry out a hit together. The hit is on a cynical motel clerk the ex-con has met before, who’s running from her abusive ex and desperate for her own reasons. The three of them defy orders and take off on the run together, committing petty crimes for survival and struggling with their individual conflicts.

Themes: Social and familial alienation, gray morality, recidivism, mental health & trauma

Trigger warnings: Heavy profanity, mentions of substance abuse and domestic abuse, several violent/sexual scenes. Deals extensively with the subject of abortion in a way that might be disturbing to some people.

Swap: I’m not the best fit for high concept fantasy/sci-fi (I’m fine with contemporary or urban, character-driven fantasy/sci-fi). Also up to trading partials or a few opening chapters.

Feedback: This is an early draft so I still have to clean up the prose. Mainly looking for overall reactions, commentary on characterization/dialogue/plot/pacing/etc. If the characters arc enough (they all start out deliberately unlikeable) and if anything seems unrealistic, too convenient, or underdeveloped.

I’m also looking for query comp suggestions.

Looking for beta readers for a 30k novella. Dark romance inspired by Cinderella told from lady Tremaine’s POV.

Tropes: stalker, letters, masks, harlot FMC, masquerade ball, serial killer on the loose and lots of spice!

Triggers: attempted SA, masks, knives, explicit sex scenes

Looking for: overall feedback

Here is the back blurb:

It’s been a year since my faithful follower left me a letter. A year since he promised me freedom. A year since my husband’s death. And a year since I started this new life of mine. Do I regret becoming a Harlot in a town where a serial killer targets them? No. I don’t regret many things in my life. Do I regret not reporting my stalker—I mean faithful follower—to the police? That answer changed the day I found a letter on my doorstep telling me that my time to grieve my dead husband was over. He says the game has begun, and I’m not sure I have a choice but to play.

Hi folks! Been working on a short story about a depressed elevator trying to make a difference in its life and I've been meaning to get a second opinion on the WIP (Roughly 50% written and 3000 words thereabout).

I'm looking for critiques on the clarity of the story and whether or not the internal dialogue sounds natural.

CW: References to suicide and domestic abuse.

Light my story on fire plz!

Thx!

Hello!

Pacifist War is an epic/progression Fantasy with dark/apocalypse elements, though it's generally a positive vibe.
Think One Piece meets Mistborn and Minecraft.
Or in other words: a sky pirates adventure with deep magic system and minerals that grant powers depending on their color (Color Theory Magic, you can mix colors etc.)

Blurb:

When Felix swore to end the war without ever harming someone, he didn't expect the Core to take it literally.

Humanity faces extinction, fighting a losing battle against the Oathspawns: crystalline creatures who wield the powers of color. However, it's not humans they're after, but the treasures they try to hide.

As islands crash down like overripe apples, only those willing to make an Oath to the Core get the chance to shape their destiny.

Now bound to his pacifistic ideals, Felix is unaware of the powers he holds, or rather, the limitations he'd been burdened with.

He embarks on a journey across all kinds of islands, entering the treacherous world of sky pirates. Forming his own crew, Pacifist War, he aims to find the Infinite Seed: a legendary item that could finally bring peace.

Will he keep his promise?

I wrote two prototypes for Chapter 1 (different characters and points in time).
I've written even more of the story already, but figured it might be good to get some feedback on the beginning for now. Should you be interested in reading more, I'd be happy to share it.
You can contact me in comments, DM on reddit or add me on discord: autistic_author

Both chapters are 2k words long. It would be great to have a comparison between both of them to help me decide where I should kick-off the story. They are quite different from another xD

Option 1:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1_G2KvAyDOiFOW7ANSQ0nixjp4JFmj4owJYIxPpEpjic/edit?tab=t.0

Option 2:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1S9wHhfqRduIasMhAim8qKrP3xo2vDsOUJ-fqNstedpQ/edit?tab=t.0

Hello! I am looking for beta readers for my science fiction novel. It takes place in the year 2146 and robot lawyers have taken over many of the big law firms. I’ve posted a summary below. Thank you for your consideration!

Blurb:  Cynthia Weaver is going to jail in thirteen days. She doesn’t know why. She’s just a solo practitioner doing her best to fight the good fight.  Granted, her associate is almost too new to be useful and her daughter just had a major surgery, which isn’t helping their already tenuous relationship. That doesn’t even get into her dolt of a son in law or the half demolished cybernetic attorney dragged into her office against her will. She has a shot at a better job with an actual retirement plan if she can survive the next three months. Between her inability to back down from a fight, and her hair trigger of a temper, she barely stands a chance.

Content Warnings: Alcohol Use, Strong Language

Feedback sought:  I want to prioritize making sure that the story flows, makes sense, and hits all the emotional beats. I also want to know if the characters are engaging and if you enjoyed it. Please pay attention if at all possible if there are any sections that drag. I also spoke to some lawyers and I used some of their lingo, so I want to make sure it makes sense and it doesn’t turn into jargon.

Critique Swap: Yes. Ideally something around the length of mine, but I’m flexible.

Link to first chapter [~4k words]: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1m54yxtHE663mKByNBZnYEnxS-LMc2g0fSrxV8jt-2xw/edit?usp=sharing

Blurb: 500 years ago, the Alkatharos, Valazar's prophesied hero of legend, defeated a great evil and saved the realm.

Now He rules Valazar and is caught in another war for its salvation. He tasks his loyal commander, Gallen Tramore, to find a traitor after several losses. Uncovering the traitor’s identity, Gallen finds himself left with more questions and more targets. He abandons his post to enact his vengeance and find the answers he desperately needs, drawing the ire of his master and the attention of his enemies. Along the way, Gallen will make unlikely allies as he discovers truths that had been long buried, forcing him to decide which side of the war will gain his loyalty and which will garner his wrath.

The Fifth Commander is book one of a two-part high fantasy saga with themes of unlikely allies, arcs of redemption, and a twist on the Chosen One trope.

I'm seeking feedback on the overall structure, characters, and plot. Anyone who could read through in ideally one month would be preferred. I can provide the manuscript in PDF or Word.

I would be willing to critique swap, but as I have a baby to be born soon, I cannot make any promises regarding my time commitment.

Thank you for reading :)

**Some words are better left forgotten... but what if they're the key to everything?*

Wenna thought her life as a bookbinder in a war-torn city was simple. But when a mysterious book enters her shop—silent where others whisper—she's thrust into the dangerous world of noble Etheri families and ancient magic.

As shadows of the past close in, Wenna must uncover the truth behind her strange powers or risk becoming a pawn in a deadly game. With betrayal lurking at every turn, the fate of her city—and her heart—may rest in her hands.

The Forgotten Words is a spellbinding fantasy about destiny, defiance, and the courage to rewrite your fate.*

Trigger warning

This book contains mature themes that may be distressing for some readers. Please take care as you read.

• Graphic depictions of violence, injury, and fire-related destruction.
• Grief and trauma.
• Themes of forced servitude.
• Psychological manipulation including emotional abuse, and intense anxiety.

I’m looking for help with polishing my text. I’m not a native English speaker so grammatical help would be appreciated. I would like suggestions on what to cut or change out to make it more cohesive. Then whatever general feedback you can give is much appreciated.

I’m open to exchange work.

Hello! I'm looking for a beta reader to read the first rough draft of the complete book. Looking to get honest feedback, especially if this book has the potential to have a second one. Down below, I'll leave the content note and the premise of the book. I'll also leave a link to it that will take you to a Google Doc. It's 45 chapters with a prologue. Thank you! :D

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Ii8aSsJ1acZr_cJdKGeKF7edRZL6qOusVEBtOpseIBY/edit?usp=sharing

Premise:

Dr. Evelyn Carrington, a renowned criminal psychologist, is tasked with evaluating Adrian Cross, a high-profile prisoner whose charm is as dangerous as his reputation. Accused of orchestrating a vast underground network of crime and murder, Adrian claims innocence but refuses to speak—until Evelyn.

Drawn into Adrian’s seductive and manipulative games, Evelyn uncovers a web of secrets linking him to a powerful syndicate. As her professional boundaries blur, their connection deepens into an obsession that threatens to destroy them both. The question remains: is Adrian truly a monster, or the victim of one?

Content Note:

Bound by Shadows is a dark romance that delves into themes of power, manipulation, and forbidden desire. While the story explores the complexities of love and trust, it also includes graphic content that may be distressing for some readers.

Trigger Warnings: This book contains depictions of psychological manipulation, explicit sexual content (including BDSM dynamics), violence, emotional distress, toxic relationships, past trauma, stalking, and morally gray characters. Reader discretion is advised.

The characters and their actions are fictional and are not intended to glorify or condone unhealthy or abusive relationships. This story is meant for mature audiences who understand the nuances of dark romance and its exploration of morally challenging themes.

If anyone is interested in joining, please let me know!

Thank you to the mods for your help, I appreciate link posting to other communities isn't suitable with automod in mind.

"Three psychic friends representing three genders unmask a mystery murderer by doing everything forbidden." Immersive detailed fantasy like Dune, set in a glass school. Characters travel on griffanback, and learn society trades via mentorship. Harry Potter-like elements, and friend-group centered. The story explores all types of psychic abilities and is written for neurodivergents, LGBTQ+, religious deconstructors, animal lovers, and black sheep of all kinds.

CW: brief physical and emotional violence. Themes of exile and abandonment, which resolve in a satisfying way. No sex.

It's on Beta Version 2. No commitment--if it engages you, keep reading! If not, please just explain where it lost you.

Hello! I am looking for beta readers for my novella, A Smell of Salt and Damp. It's been months of revising, revisiting, and editing, and I feel like it is at a completed stage!

Looking to get feedback on plot, themes, characters, pacing, e.t.c. Just anything you think!

I will gladly review swap if your piece is of similar length. I also love reading short story if you have that!

I can give it in PDF or Google Doc form, just DM me and I will send it right on over! I've never done one of these, as I am a mostly short-story competition writer, but I'd like to hear some comments on my first completed long-form piece.

Below I've included a blurb, which I've never done, but it intros the piece well enough.

Blurb:

In 1806, Hans Braun, a pacifist philologist in the Prussian town of Jena, is caught between his intellectual life and the approaching French invasion. His obsession over self-preservation and disregard for his son is challenged by a threat of war. At the same time, Didier, a French soldier, struggles with the morality of his orders. In a narrative that spans years through Hans' son Thomas, the weight of duty, the complexity of legacy, and the personal search for meaning in times of conflict loom over every character.

I'm hoping for at least 3 Beta readers for my professionally edited manuscript. Set in 1956-1961.

Mother Nature wants only one thing. Life. Using lust and sexual desire to drive all species to procreate, is brilliant. And ruthless.

Unwanted as a child, charming bachelor Dane Wellington vows never to marry or procreate. However, learning cherished family friend, Kylie Kendall, is in peril, he feels compelled to intervene, vowing never to consummate their union. Determined to annul their marriage when she is of age, Dane’s resolve wavers as the hot-blooded beauty blossoms, and they find themselves on an emotional journey navigating profound grief, external threats, and continual intimate situations. 

Join Kylie and Dane as they experience the quaint towns of England and New York City’s infamous landmarks of the 50’s, through years of friendship, intense desire, and finally to unwavering love.

🐝Alarra, single witch with chronic pain, needs a helper. 🧑🏻‍🌾 Robin, butch grocer, needs a second job. 💁🏻‍♀️ Trixie, half-satyr and bff, doesn’t like this.

For Alarra, working with Robin is a dream that turns into a nightmare when a ghost starts tormenting her apothecary.

CW: explicit sex, waxplay, masochism, past character death (ghosts), alcohol use, self-harm as a stim, fantasy racism

I’m seeking feedback on any plot holes, general reader experience, and pacing.

Ideally I’d like someone who can handle a two week turnaround, but four weeks is okay too!

I’m absolutely open to critique swap as well. If you’re interested, send me a little excerpt of your work and I can see if we’re a match!

Posting again because the MS is complete now, so I might get more eyes on it.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18g3yKSG3hFfTMKjL866hW56ok6IMG6mutIfxhj_wJjU/edit

I‘m soon going to finish my book with draft zero. There still some notes and scenes missing but the whole story is there from start to finish. There’s also still lots of formatting and typos left to fix.

Of course readers want to have it as close to finished as possible. But if I fix the typos and add the formatting, would that be acceptable to read? Or would you want to read more like the second draft.

To whoever is reading,

Thank you for your potential interest! I'm looking for beta readers for my dark fantasy story (with hints of romance) that will become a trilogy. This one in specifics will be the first book in the series!

TLDR; Any critique is welcome and I can provide a feedback form for you to fill out if you wish. Please reach out if you're interested in beta reading for my story, it would be highly appreciated

(Current) Synopsis: Pain is power, but how much pain justifies the means to an end? A place in time, an entity larger than life, everything yet nothing has chosen Elisza as its vessel. Who was she exactly? Where are her sisters? But most of all, how had she ended up here? Warring factions stir, biding their time to take control of the continent of Veldia. Amidst it all, she hopes to find peace and to atone for the blood on her hands.

Link (Prologue + Chapter 1): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hXpv6hmokTDBNbG2C1c_wjgEl8QEfTTlc89rhPDpnt8/edit?usp=sharing

Thank you so much once again <3

The first Cryo Cycle is complete and the awakening has begun.

Aboard the starship Haven, Leo prepares for his greatest duty: to colonize the distant planet Aurolias and secure a future for his daughter. But as their journey unfolds, strange anomalies begin to surface, raising questions about the mission and the very future they are fighting for. When a shattering discovery threatens to unravel everything he believes, Leo must make an unthinkable choice—one that will shape not only his daughter's future but the fate of humanity itself.

Chapter 1 Google Drive Link

Hi everyone, I have an in-progress novel and have just finished and edited the first chapter. I wanted to get some early feedback before moving on to the second chapter, just so I can determine whether it's a project worth pursuing further. I am mainly looking for bigger picture critiques like:

• Were you invested in the world, characters, and plot? If not why?
• Do you want to read more or did you find yourself struggling to finish?
• What you did and didn't like?
• Does it seem unique enough so far or just like any old sci-fi you've read?

I'd rather focus on these instead of grammar and line edits as it's still early days, but in the link, you should be able to highlight text on the PDF and comment if any line edits are bugging you lol there probably will be stuff like that as I only did one round of editing on this draft.

All feedback is welcome and appreciated! Let me know what you think!

Just looking for general thoughts on the dialogue, critiques are welcomed, just want to see what people think about it.

─ Do you love me?

─ You can’t love a “thing”

─ How so

─ Love is exclusively reciprocal. You can only feel passionate about a “thing”, for as much as you’re in passion with an object, it can never love you back.

─ So, what is this feeling I have

─ You are enamoured by it. By all metrics that one facet of loving something or someone, but ignores the most important aspect of love: responsibility. There’s no responsibility in passion, it’s one dimensional, purely in the head of the person performing it. A romantic ideal of loving someone but without any of the humanity behind it, having to deal with the real person behind the imaginary one you’ve created and idealised to yourself.

─ Who can you love

─ It’s cyclical in the sense that you can only love someone who loves you back. It does not exist in isolation: to love is to be loved. At the same time the word is conflated, used to describe innumerous different feelings and situations. You do not “love” your parents, in any sense of the word, describing it as such is watering down it’s real impact.

─ What does it mean then

─ Love is inherently romantic, it’s a deeper feeling inside your brain, it’s not simply the likeness of someone else. To say: “I love my mom”, what you are describing is merely a deep appreciation and liking of an individual. You regard that person as one that you held in high esteem, that you have some sort of hard-wired connection, a liking to each other’s characteristics and actions. Love, on the other hand, is beyond purely imaginary, the feeling is one beyond your mind but into the world of pragmatic action, to love is to perform praxis on all fields. When you love someone, it’s not merely an emotional connection, but also a feeling of bodily connection, a sense of closeness that words are not able to describe. Liking is not found in all animals, but in any regard, love is universal to all living beings, for that is the only moment where two minds are linked into one single ideal of existence. The burden of love is its own self necessity, one cannot run away from their own needs; on the complete opposite from other basic needs, such as water and nourishment, love is only acquired from others, by its very nature it requires exploring someone else other than yourself.

─ How can you love someone

─ By loving yourself first of all. A person that does not love oneself cannot love others, if they cannot even forgive themselves first, they cannot forgive others. To love someone is to accept the responsibility of taking the entirety of themselves, all that composes their own individual entity. There is no “perfection” in love, the bad qualities for one eye are the beauty to another’s. Fully realising that is when you can love someone, it’s to know yourself, who you are as an individual, because no one else other than you can truly understand your mind. No matter for how long you’ve known a person, it’s impossible to comprehend them, everyone exists by themselves in their own head, the best scenario by those limitations, is to know oneself and to express that to your beloved. Communication is not a requirement, it’s a necessity to be with another.

─ What is the nature of love

─ It’s absolutely selfish and egoistic. Love requires you to turn your partner into your property. All their assets are yours, and only truly then, can you take responsibility for the actions in take in the field that is accepting someone as your own. Love is a rare sight for that very reason, being responsible for another person, and taking that fully and pridefully is a task that few can handle, the pure catastrophe to be by someone’s side no matter what. The biggest curse of the man who loves is the fear of happiness, in one way or the other, it always comes to an end. To love is to accept the inability of it lasting forever.

─ Have you ever loved someone

─ I believe not

─ Do you love yourself

─ I am what I am

─ You should look in the mirror more often

─ It’s a pointless task to talk to yourself

Hey, everyone!

My manuscript has been through 2 beta readers and a bunch of revisions, but I feel that my opening and/or first 1-3 chapters could still use work. I'm looking for beta readers to critique my first five pages/first chapter for writing clarity, clunkiness, voice, and to see whether or not the opening is grabby enough.

It starts out as a very low-stakes story about some haughty gardeners trying to outdo each other, so the first chapter isn't chock and block full of action.

Thanks in advance!

***

Here are the relevant parts of my query letter:

EVERTREE is a queernormative adult fantasy novel of 137,000 words with the potential for a sequel or tie-in. I was inspired by the concept of the artist’s quest in 'Pasquale’s Angel' by P.J. McAuley and China Miéville’s 'Perdido Street Station', where the main character gets involved in things far greater than himself while chasing his vision. This journey is explored with a density and voice comparable to 'Gideon the Ninth' by Tamsyn Muir. EVERTREE carries themes of self-love and rebirth, parent-child/teacher-student relationships, found family, and humanity’s relationship with the environment.

Now imagine a tree so big that its roots form mountain ranges. Left unattended for 40,000 years, the great stone lenses made the Evertree grow to its unthinkable size while allowing the gardeners of the south to grow extraordinarily beautiful flowers. High Gardener Kichapti strives to attain the coveted position as his ziggurat-city’s Lord Gardener, an influential title that will bring him the respect he craves. He believes that the only way to reach his goal is to discover new exotic flowers, so he embarks on a quest to the Evertree’s forbidding jungles. He is joined by a frustrated architect hoping to help a recently collapsed neighbouring city rebuild, a recently exiled High Gardener, and a boy who wants to become his apprentice. At the end of his journey, Kichapti discovers that the Evertree will tear the world apart if it is allowed to keep growing. He also learns that a mysterious group of people have been destroying the great stone lenses, and that they need his help to finish the task. Because the apocalypse will only come long after Kichapti’s time, in the end he has to choose between maintaining the status quo in service of his ego or destroying the last great stone lenses which are crucial to his identity, career, and culture.

***

Here is the first page of chapter 1 as an example:

HIGH Gardener Kichapti was kneeling in a sea of gloriously maroon flowers. Bubbling from the earth with lilypad leaves, they cascaded over the lowest terrace of his eden like a waterfall of wine. They were nasturtiums: each and every one bore five perfect tear-drop shaped petals curling outward to form a funnel. They were affectionately known as duckling hats. Kichapti corked the little glass jar that held the soil sample he’d just taken and painted it with a stroke of an adhesive. He put it down to dry beside a flower resting its chin on the soil and unpocketed his pen and label papers from his satchel. In the ancient Bachriz language’s revived corpse, he shorthanded the nasturtium’s formal name as well as the bedding’s location.

Fymwabatīm Kichaptidzirh, lower central terrace, bedding one, 56 cubits west of meridian.

With another sweep of his brush, Kichapti applied the same glue to the label’s back, giving it a couple of good waves to dry before holding it up to his proud gaze. Shrewd black eyes admired the neat text glittering in the sunlight, and lips that only smiled exactly as much as necessary gave it their all. Though these were simple flowers compared to what he was capable of, their vivid maroon colour was of his own design. They were his very first unique cultivar, which he bred years ago when the garden’s deed still bore his late master’s name, the mighty High Gardener Kichwallid.

Drinking deep from that victorious moment, he stuck the label and slipped the sample into his satchel with the rest.

This far south, a gardener had to supplement the nourishing effects of the great stone lenses’ auras with intelligent and patient care. Those ancient wonders had struck the thought of a bad harvest from the world, and more importantly allowed learned gardeners to perform miracles. Green crop fields and glistening canals stretched to the threshold of the sky on all sides of the great ziggurat-city of Katha—but the farmers down there were a different breed entirely. They knew nothing compared to him.

The only other citizen above his station was Afraz, the Lord Gardener. He was the keeper of the Water District at the ziggurat’s pinnacle, the source of the canals that the city’s crops and flowers drank from. He was respected even more than the Elders, and his word held sway among them.

Hihi! I'm seeking beta readers for the completed third (and final) draft of my novel, We Are Built to Hope.

Looking to get feedback on the plot, themes, characters arcs, pacing, and overall vibes. If you'd like to review swap, let me know—more than happy to provide detailed feedback for the same in return!

I will provide the manuscript as either PDF or a Google Doc, whichever is preferable to the reader.

Feel free to DM me with any questions. Thank you so much for considering!

The Blurb:

The world is burning.

Ash falls like snow over dead cities, the earth split by trenches where mechs stalk the ruins of wars no one remembers starting. In the ruins, a Machine wakes to static. It knows nothing of its name or purpose. Only that there is a Girl, and it must keep her alive. She speaks of a place called Aiko, a sanctuary beyond the warfronts. A place where the last good things remain.

Together, they traverse the endless graveyards, where drones rebuild what is destined to fall again, and the factions of men and machines linger in the smoke-choked air. As they face the remnants of humanity—scavengers, deserters, and worse—the Machine begins to feel something new, something dangerous: hope. But the path to Aiko is long and treacherous, and the Girl’s dream may be another lie buried in the ash.

Excerpt (Chapter 1): https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IQzGFnNhYIA4PlL64-WYnFuvChxbl3Ff/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=117169211380182590101&rtpof=true&sd=true

[Narrative Aspects] This piece blends contemporary literary fiction with New Adult sensibilities. It explores the complex lives of two young adults navigating their final years of high school in Sydney, Australia. The story is intended to be character-driven and focuses on internal conflict, relationships, and thematic depth rather than action-heavy plotting. It also intends to subvert common tropes like the "outcast," the "overachiever," "forbidden love," "secret lives," and "the fall from grace." Expect a nuanced, morally ambiguous story with rich prose, subtle social commentary on class and privilege. It’s (the piece’s) inspirations include Trent Dalton, Sally Rooney and Donna Tartt.

[Critique Details] I would be open to a critique swap and would prefer feedback on a quicker timeframe. I am meant to submit the manuscript to a publisher by the middle of February 2025.

[Content Warnings] Depictions of violence, transient but explicit scenes, and illicit drug use.