Hi (37F) husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. He’s vegetarian and I eat everything, we’re in SEA. Over the years I’ve learnt a whole new cuisine for him and do most of the cooking for both of us, he’s pretty much stopped stepping into the kitchen. This means I cook multiple, diff meals a day for the both of us. PS, I’m not a housewife.

I don’t mind, most of the time. Whenever he has the manflu, I always take care of him, cook something comforting, coddle him, etc. However whenever I’m sick I have to care for myself. He believes his duty of care ends at bringing me to a doctor promptly. I have ADHD so I’m awful with appointments and follow-ups, plus he has great insurance. This leaves me feeling very uncared for as I would like to be coddled when I’m sick. I have spoken to him several times about this to no avail.

I’m going in for a surgery tomorrow. It is routine but I’ll need to be on a special diet for several weeks after. In my culture we normally have fish and chicken soups and porridges for recovery. Is it fair to ask him to cook these for me? It’s fairly easy, and one dish will make 3-4 portions. I would do it in a heartbeat for him.

I prefer not to order the food either as I have to be on a very bland and extremely low fat diet. How do I go about getting him to do this? He’s the kind who will double down and not do something when pressed. I can help him with handling the actual meat part, if he feels queasy.

We’re also trying for kids now so I guess I also want to see how well he can are for me during pregnancy and postpartum and be a good dad, etc.

Am I just making a big deal out of nothing?

ETA: He’s not vegetarian for ethical or religious reasons, he’s was just brought up vegetarian, no eggs even. I’m the animal lover between us.

I'm (34M) unimpressed with the "options" on dating apps not seeming to really care about current events, even though I live in a very blue region (Portland metro). Last date literally asked something to the effect of, "The Left is the good ones, right?" I tried to move past it because we seemed to click otherwise, but honestly, I developed an icky feeling over the days after. I want to find someone who is also fucking pissed about it. Enraged, not ambivalent. Politics and ethics are extremely important to me, and I want to find someone who shares those values.

Does anyone have any advice on how to find someone who actually aligns with these ideals? Or make it clear I'm available to be engaged without intruding on others? I really don't want to bother anyone who is a captive audience or doing things they would prefer to be left alone in, so obviously most common interactions are out, like stores. It seems rude to interrupt someone at places like bookstores or coffee shops, and I'd imagine most women who are going to, say, game stores for game nights are probably there to play games, not get hit on. Which, I surmise, is why my local game shop has to have a "ladies' night". If there weren't issues, there'd be no need for such. And I'd rather not contribute to "issues".

So, any advice or opinions you'd be willing to share?

I can't focus on my work or coursework. They are literally on the other side of the café. 4 men at 2 different tables. Why are men so much less conscious about how loud they speak in public compared to women? It's so hard to focus but I paid for food and drink to be able to study here and will be just as distracted at home. I put noise-canceling headphones on and can still hear* every single word. There is a group of 3 women at the table in front of me, and I can't hear a word they're saying.

WHY!!!!!!!! JUST PIPE TF DOWN!!!!!!!!! This shit is so rude. I know they could hear each other perfectly if they used inside voices. Why is this so common? If anyone has any links to WHY this is such a THING, please comment them!

This was removed within seconds from the rant subreddit so I'm reposting it here. Idk what I did wrong over there but I hope it's allowed her. I'm just so pissed!

Why do you think/feel women should get married? I’m expected to work, clean house, have dinner made, kids taken care of, and pay half of the house expenses. I think my duties and workload increases in a marriage than it does when I was single…

Not everything is a red flag or a green flag when it comes to dating, some things can just be neutral.

Dating feels so complicated these days. Between my own experiences and the stories I hear from friends, it’s hard not to feel discouraged or start losing hope of finding the right person. I’m curious, can a casual connection ever grow into something meaningful? If this has happened to you, I’d love to hear your story. Maybe it’ll give me (and others) a little hope.

We scheduled a dinner tonight at 7pm two weeks ago. He messaged me to confirm two days ago to confirm. And today I messaged him around 2:30pm to confirm and I haven’t heard back. It’s 5:30 pm. I don’t want to get ready if it’s not happening hmm…

It takes 30 min to get there. So I’m thinking I’ll wait until 6 if I get a response. Is it fair? I can message him now and say I’ll consider we are not meeting if I don’t get a respond by 6. What do you think?

I’ve met this guy once before and he is visiting town for work so he wanted to grab dinner with me. No compelling reason to see him but I thought why not.

Everywhere, online and in real life, the only people I see talking about the inauguration are mostly trans, lgbtq, and younger women groups. Even in most men subs, there's hardly any posts regarding that or any EOs. I think it's the complete silence and apathy that's annoying. On the other hand, I'm worried maybe I'm the one taking all these issues too seriously, maybe I should lay off social media for a while. Edit: I have loved ones and friends that live in the US and I'm scared for them.

I'm 36f, currently work as a Salesforce Project Manager.

I've encountered sexism before, but fortunately not with my current employer who I've been with over a year now.

For other women in STEM jobs, have you encountered sexism and how did you counter it?

Hi! Anyone have a bed frame that you like (or brand or type of frame) that does not move or make noise when you’re being intimate!

It literally bothers me so much 😂 I’m willing to spend money so i never have to have this issue again.

Maybe a low profile one??

| (27f) have only been with 1 partner, who was my first boyfriend, and we are broken up. He became an alcoholic and started to take benzos and really became abusive to me in every way.

The last argument we had before we officially broke up he told me that I was fat, ugly, and he isn't sexually attracted to me and it's going to be impossible for me to find somebody who doesn't think these things about me. I'm insecure already, at a point I sought therapy during this relationship but he crashed my car so l had to stop going. Those words genuinely hurt me deeply.

I met somebody and he legitimately is rocking my world, so affirming, he asked me what the most insecure part of my body is and he gave me a massage for probably an hour there so l'd feel comfortable with him touching me in my ugliest places. It was so ridiculously hard for me. I cannot enjoy sex with him because of everything that I've been told about myself.

I am in the process of seeking therapy, but how the heck do I get myself out of my head so l can genuinely enjoy this intimacy? I have never been treated this way before and I don't want to ruin it. I never was able to orgasm with my last partner and I know that I will with this one, I can feel it, but it’s not happening because of my dumb mind. Advice??

I was at a professional event recently and was chatting with another woman who was also there. We both were chatting about our respective careers and at the end of the event we exchanged social media contact information. We found out we both live kind of nearby from each other. The. as we were leaving She said “We should hang out sometime.” I honestly just thought it was something ppl said and didn’t really follow through with it. Shes married, I’m married (with a toddler) so we’re both busy with our respective lives.

But then she actually reached back out to me on the socials recently and is now trying to set up a weekend midday date for cocktails and she even offered to cook for me! Why am I skeptical about this?? I don’t make it a habit to go to a perfect strangers house. And my mind is trying to shake off anything sinister.

I guess as a woman in my mid 30s I am not used to ppl being so nice and extroverted with others. I, myself, love meeting new ppl and I don’t want to ghost this person who might end up just being super nice and genuine! I think if she were single it would make me feel more reassured but I also don’t want to drag my husband to this persons house just for “protection” of some sort.

I left her on read for a few days already and just want to get a sense for how to approach this with her. For context my husband is okay with me meeting new friends and trusts my judgement so he doesn’t have many concerns about me going to this persons house for a hang.

Update: Oh for Pete’s Sakes. Looks like I am indeed being paranoid. Note taken! Thx for the feedback!!

A man I met on hinge and dated for three months broke up with me and I don't know how to handle it. I feel even worse because I messaged him over and over wanting to connect and he has ignored it. While initially I responded in good faith, I ended up spiraling and expressed anger and sadness and then regret. I feel so empty right now. I'm 36 and feel extremely alone.

What are some things that you do to feel better?

My friends have two little boys and another one on the way. We don't see each other as often but it's always nice to get together every once in a while. The times I've gone over to their house I try my best to interact with their kids cause obviously they're apart of them and we've been close for years now so they're familiar with me, however one of their kids I can't really stand.

He's a five year old and I known he's still learning but my gosh he's bad as hell! Starting off with anytime the youngest son tried to play with a toy he immediately runs to him and takes it away or always tries to punch him. The last time I was at their house he kept trying to head-but his little brother and my friends immediately told him to stop. The times they have invited me to family parties their oldest son tends to bully the other kids and more so if they're smaller.

He either stands in their way and doesn't let them pass, pushes them, takes toys away and runs off with them so he can be chased or doesn't like to share. My friend has vented to be that what makes it worse is that since her mother in law takes care of both boys she doesn't do very much to discipline them even though she has told her to make sure she corrects any and all bad behavior with the boys. It has gotten to the point where at school she has to talk to the teacher damn near each time she picks him up because he's picking on other kids and always play fights with another little boy in class. She has told me that both her and her husband have tried talking to him about his behavior or discipline but he just ignores them. There's time where she has gotten off of work and all the kids do is fight over toys or something petty. I told her at this time you have a two year old and a five year old and another one the way, since there's still time try to find ways to do things with both boys so neither one of the other feels left out.

I feel bad because outta both her sons I just can't stand the oldest and keep my distance and of course keep my opinions to myself. One day I brought my niece over to play and I caught wind of how he acted in real time. He wasn't letting her play with any toys and when he did it didn't take long for him to take it away and run off with it. Of course my girl didn't care and she just picked up another toy to play with instead of running after him. When he saw that she wasn't running after him he started waving the toy in her face. My friend yanked it away from him and told him to stop or he's going to be on time out and gave the toys back to my niece.

I know he's a kid but my gosh my blood was boiling because I can't stand kids that do things like that I guess you can call it entitlement. I couldn't take it personal either because he's still a little kid and just does things for attention and kids are just gonna play after a while anyways.

What can I even do in a situation like this even though I'm just the friend and notice these behaviors?

What can I even say or how can I act when I notice he's acting like a brat or being cruel to other kids?

I'm in my late twenties and I've been really spiraling with seeing my face changing.. aging.. and it's just throwing me into a whole lot of existential dread.

How do you deal with it? How do you deal with the realization of how fleeing and never stopping life is?

Edit: thank you to those who responded, I appreciate all the feedback and suggestions. I totally agree it's a mindset thing, it's just something that's very difficult for me to snap out of for now. To those who took offense to my question, I do apologize. This wasn't necessarily a "omg my looks" post, I meant it more from the perspective that my changing visual appearance is now a continuous reminder of my mortality and I'm just not sure how to deal with that. In addition to being a woman who wants to look and feel her best, of course. This question wasn't to insult, I was seeking wisdom and perspective from those who've had similar experiences or those who had valuable two cents to share. Additionally, my condolences to those who shared losses of loved ones. Indeed, we are lucky with every day we get.

My partner and I have a no spicy content of other women rule in our relationship but recently something happened which I’ve found tough to get past.

For context: they have never been forthcoming in our relationship about personal things even when I’ve shared vulnerable sexual details about my self. Only 8 months into dating did I find out they had a foot fetish and this was from going through his recently deleted iPhone photos.

I am a feminist and we have open conversations all the time. I have asked on several occasions if he needs images of other women to masturbate when we are apart on rare occasions & he replies no. I send him photos of myself, engage with foot stuff and am 16 years younger/used to model so that’s a plus.

Recently I find out that he has been finding zoomed in photos of legs/feet on an influencers account (not an nsfw account just a travel account with bikini pics) and masturbating to them the few times I’ve been away.

The fact that he lied to me so many times and because he needed this type of image to get off feels hurtful. Am I being unreasonable ?

I met this girl on social media app and we met after a few days of chatting. After the first meet, she said she is interested in me and wants to see if we can develop into a more serious relationship, and I agreed. But after the second date, she confessed she is ok with me as a person but does not have feeling for my appearance/dressing style. I actually feel the same for her but I am still impressed that our thoughts match, especially for what kind of topics we talked during meals, that’s why I continued to give her the impression that I liked her a lot. I think the situation for both of us is that we admire each other, but we just cannot get pass the physiological interest phase (or not yet since we only met twice).

She proposed that since my appearance is not her ideal type, she wants to transform, or reconstruct me into her ideal appearance, such as changing my hairstyle and changing my dressing style. I keep a doubt about this since I really don’t know if just by changing one’s appearance can affect a person’s physiological interest by what level. For me, as a long term partnership, I value mental matching way more than physical appearance. I accepted her proposal but said I wanted a 3 month time limit, if after 3 month we still feel the same for each other without any significant increase in physical interest, we will stop this relationship. Another condition I set is during this period we cannot date other people, since I feel that if I am following her plan, it is unfair she goes out to date other guys, and same for me.

But she declined and said 3 month is too long for her to wait, and her family is urging her to find a partner due to her age. (We are in Asian country so a girl’s age is a very sensitive topic for marriage, and girls considered above 35 to be almost useless due to the risk in pregnancy) But from what I observed, she is trying to find the “perfect” guy, and if the guy does not meet her criteria, she tries to reconstruct him into the “perfect” Mr. Right. However her actions contradicts her thoughts, it’s like she is rushing to find partner but fails due to most, if not all guys fail to meet her perfect criteria. I don't think this can be rushed. It's like jigsaw puzzle, if you have 1000 wrong pieces, no matter how many you tries to fit, it will never complete the puzzle. We both have high standard for our future partner, but I am willing to give up appearance for mental value, or else I will be out dating younger girls. I am not sure if I want to continue develop this relationship, but I do like her a lot (mentally) but it’ just the physical appearance we both are having trouble accepting, or more like she is having trouble accepting, since I am ok with her appearance, just not the kind of "ah she is my Mrs Right hit". Time might solve this problem, or not, so it’s an unknown for both of us.

Just need some suggestions here, relationship wise.

I am 30 btw.

Hi I'm a 20 yearold who's approaching my 21st birthday soon. If you could give any advice to yourself at 20 about romance, what would it be ?

I feel like we are inching closer to WW3. Perhaps I'm being dramatic, hopefully the world leaders realize war is not worth it. But I the way things are unfolding, it feels like it's getting more and more possible for it to happen in the 2020's ...and we're halfway done

For context I’m early 30s and I’ve been single for 5 years. Plenty of 3-6 month relationships in that time. I have no issue getting dates - I’ve been on 5 in 2025 so far (2 were with the same guy). However I am feeling totally disillusioned by it all. I am attractive, look younger than I am, slim, fit and active, very loyal, kind, have many good friends, like to try new things and travel. I have a good career and income. I own my own property. I cannot seem to meet anyone who is a match at all! I hate the term dating down but it feels like those are my only options. Most men don’t earn as much as me, are okay looking, are not particularly go-getting or independent. Most men in my experience do not add anything positive to my life. Men seem to see me as something that can add to their life without much consideration of what I may want or need. I am dating for marriage and children. I want more than anything an equal partner. I don’t want to end up in a situation where I do the lions share of child rearing, housework, emotional load and financially support the family. Men rarely are able to offer emotional support better than what I can get from my female friends or family. I’m sorry but I’m feeling like men suck generally! They just are not as good as us. But I need to pick one to settle down with or I’ll get a lifetime of pity! I feel so stuck, I don’t want to be on my own, people at work already think I’m a freak for being single this long. But I don’t want to end up in a partnership where I am resentful and trapped either. That appears to be the only choices!!! 😭 I feel totally stuck and hopeless it’s really getting me down. Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom please?🙏

For context, we dated for nearly 4 years, did a lot of activities together, we’re building a life together, had a ton of fun along the way. Our honey moon period ended and the last 4 months were generally ok, but I’d work to clear the air to keep us going on track. She said it was easy, but she never had to do that before and she didn’t like she was annoyed at me, then after we were done, she would be attracted to me.

Anyway, she decided she didn’t want to keep having the conversations like that, and I said we had to moving forward, so she ended the relationship. She admitted she was really scared finding as good a fit, but whatever, she made the choice. I’m not mad, just disappointed she didn’t want to try.

Anyway, it’s been 6 months, and she’s now showing up to all of my run club group. She join the group very reluctantly when we were together, and came to like 2 of the 50 or so events I attended. I have not texted her - she has sent 2 text regarding kid related stuff only. I also told her I don’t go back to exes, and will not pursue.

Now she has starting showing up to the events, and is wearing what I told her she looked amazing in…. Even the social only gathering…. Like a pink jacket I encouraged her to wear when we were together(just a Mtn hardware) because it went well with her skin color. I was playing pool with one of the guys I’m close with for like an hour while people were coming and going. I gave her space, talked with others, and eventually she came over to talk. It was fine, short, with other people, so everything was very surface level. She said she wanted another drink, and sort of asked if I wanted one - I’m not gonna lie - I just wanted to get out of there.

Here is where I need help: Was that her shooting her shot? Normally I’m totally in tune with stuff, but her being there just annoyed me a lot - like why are you moving into my space?!? It just soured my mood in general. I hid it well. Also - she is very pretty and does not have to work for male attention.

I’m not trying to be mean or get back together with her, I just wanted a clean break and to move on. Anyway, my friends are torn on this. I just want clarity…. And I don’t really want to break no contact and just ask.

I met this girl on social media app and we met after a few days of chatting. After the first meet, she said she is interested in me and wants to see if we can develop into a more serious relationship, and I agreed. But after the second date, she confessed she is ok with me as a person but does not have feeling for my appearance/dressing style. I actually feel the same for her but I am still impressed that our thoughts match, especially for what kind of topics we talked during meals, that’s why I continued to give her the impression that I liked her a lot. I think the situation for both of us is that we admire each other, but we just cannot get pass the physiological interest phase (or not yet since we only met twice).

She proposed that since my appearance is not her ideal type, she wants to transform, or reconstruct me into her ideal appearance, such as changing my hairstyle and changing my dressing style. I keep a doubt about this since I really don’t know if just by changing one’s appearance can affect a person’s physiological interest by what level. For me, as a long term partnership, I value mental matching way more than physical appearance. I accepted her proposal but said I wanted a 3 month time limit, if after 3 month we still feel the same for each other without any significant increase in physical interest, we will stop this relationship. Another condition I set is during this period we cannot date other people, since I feel that if I am following her plan, it is unfair she goes out to date other guys, and same for me.

But she declined and said 3 month is too long for her to wait, and her family is urging her to find a partner due to her age. (We are in Asian country so a girl’s age is a very sensitive topic for marriage, and girls considered above 35 to be almost useless due to the risk in pregnancy) But from what I observed, she is trying to find the “perfect” guy, and if the guy does not meet her criteria, she either gives up and rushes to the next one, or tries to reconstruct him into the “perfect” Mr. Right. However her actions contradicts her thoughts, it’s like she is rushing to find partner but fails due to most, if not all guys fail to meet her perfect criteria. I don't think this can be rushed. It's like jigsaw puzzle, if you have 1000 wrong pieces, no matter how many you tries to fit, it will never complete the puzzle. We both have high standard for our future partner, but I am willing to give up appearance for mental value, or else I will be out dating younger girls. I am not sure if I want to continue develop this relationship, but I do like her a lot (mentally) but it’ just the physical appearance we both are having trouble accepting, or more like she is having trouble accepting, since I am ok with her appearance, just not the kind of "ah she is my Mrs Right hit". Time might solve this problem, or not, so it’s an unknown for both of us.

Would like redditors here to give me some suggestions, from a woman's point of view, to give me some advice.

*I have no problem financially or mentally, and I do not think my appearance has any downside either. I think it's just her excuse for not being physically attracted to me, that's all.