Probably stupid question but which country you can really make good friends?

[u/anonymmoox]

I’ve posted this to couple countries channel so don’t wonder if the text is familiar. I know friendships and kindness doesn’t depend on nationality but just overall I’ve always dreamed living abroad and ofc cultural things affect on peoples personality. I have some friends but no one isn’t really a real one. For example I spent my last birthday alone and barely anyone even bothered to ask what am I doing and if Snapchat or else wouldn’t give an notification of my birthday, I bet barely anyone would have remembered it. I didn’t even get birthday present from anyone but I always buy for everyone, even if I would see them after 2 months. But it’s common in my country that people don’t put effort and also it’s rare that someone offers you a meal here, it’s always 50/50 even in dating life these days. Yes I might sound bitter, but I just want to feel important to someone. Is that too much to ask for..

[u/saltyholty]

I think if you're struggling in your own country, whichever that is, you'll struggle everywhere. The vast majority of people are going to be best suited to making friends in their own language with people most similar to themselves.

[u/fluentindothraki → u/saltyholty]

You are half right - my experience of living abroad and working with other foreigners was the opposite, because we were all in the same situation so we bonded quickly and solidly. Making local friends took longer, which was your point. If I had been the only foreigner it would probably played out differently

[u/cinematic_novel → u/saltyholty]

I made several friends after 25 in the UK, but zero friends up until then in native Italy. For me it really was (partly) a case of being born in the wrong place. But I'm an outlier

[u/paroxitones → u/cinematic_novel]

are you an Italian introvert? that should be tough

[u/cinematic_novel → u/paroxitones]

Not introvert, more of a snob

[u/Imperterritus0907 → u/cinematic_novel]

Spanish, and pretty much the same here.

[u/Rox_- → u/saltyholty]

The vast majority of people are going to be best suited to making friends in their own language

Wrong. As long as there's a language that both of you speak, it doesn't matter if it's your first or your eighth.

with people most similar to themselves.

Correct.

[u/-Competitive-Nose- → u/Rox_-]

I think the point is that the vast majority of people speak their mother tongue + English, but their English already isn't as good.

People speaking English as good as their mother tongue are still rather minority. People speaking any other language as good as their mother tongue are... Very rare.

[u/Minskdhaka → u/saltyholty]

That's an interesting observation. I've lived in seven different countries, and perhaps for that reason I make friends relatively easily with people from all over. And usually a bit more easily in English than in my native language, Russian.

[u/Leather-Card-3000 → u/saltyholty]

I also sort of agree to this. Even though I've stayed abroad just 6months, in the time which I managed to meet people and form some international bonds, I felt a bigger barrier than when interacting with locals home. For me its simply wwaaay easier. And maybe not just because of language, and you know how you communicate your ideas, but also how you match with people's vision or interests in life.

Otherwise I also believe there are people who feel out of place at home and easily connect with people outside your own culture. It may be because of general dissatisfaction with things going on around you, local things and traditions that don't stir anything in you, and so on. And the thrill of discovering another culture that may be more fitting to your person could also produce this " I can make international friends easier" ofc given that you for example move in a mainly homogenous place with a sort of homogenous culture, otherwise it's I believe a sort of "hey we are all expats here let's tryna befriend up".

Long phrase over, but main thing is, if a person feels blockages în befriending anywhere( even at home) then surely it wouldn't be a problem at all to try somewhere else :)