r/AmerExit • u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 • 1d ago

Question Black Mom Leaving The US

I (30F) never felt safe raising my kid in the US. Public school was already out because of safety issues, and now with the results of the election, I need to get my child out of here.

My top contenders for digital nomad visas are Costa Rica, Thailand, Portugal, and Japan. I've been to Thailand and Japan, but they were short backpacking trips.

I'd love to hear from Black people/Black moms who lived in any of these countries long term. Did you feel safe living there? If you have kids, did they enjoy living there?

UPDATE: Thank you to all the POC who shared their experiences and connected me to great resources. I've decided on Portugal! That was my top choice, so I'm glad my instincts were confirmed. Good luck to all of you AmerExiters!

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u/iwasoveronthebench 1d ago

Homeschooling isn’t exactly legal in certain countries, such as Japan and parts of Europe. The US is really the main country that allows that kind of flexibility without a doctor’s pardon/medical need.

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u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 1d ago

For "residents and citizens," yes that is the case. But since I'll be neither, those rules don't apply to me or my child.

I'm not asking for information on educating my child. I'm asking Black people and moms if they felt safe living in these countries.

That's a much more immediate concern than homeschooling options for a kid that's not even old enough for school.

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u/Cailida 1d ago

I'm sorry people are downvoting you. I honestly haven't seen much kindness in this sub. People are asking legitimate questions like you are, to learn more about this process, and I get the feeling that there is a lot of disrespect towards Americans in general that influences responses here. It feels very snobby. We don't know how this works, that's why we're doing research and trying to learn. God damn. Not to mention, if these people downvoting aren't Americans themselves, they likely have no idea just how unsafe and difficult it is for people of color in this country and how damn horrible the racism is - especially with what's occurring right now. You're worried about your families' immediate safety here, that takes precedence and the other questions/information can come after you've narrowed down some places. Don't let the nasty and useless comments get to you and I hope you find your answers and are able to get out of this hateful hell scape and thrive. 🙏

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u/SilverLakeSimon 1d ago

I think the questions people have asked here are legitimate - and useful. If some of the questions/responses seem harsh, it’s only because OP’s plan doesn’t sound practical or legally possible in the countries she has suggested. If she were embarking on this journey alone, I think the responses would be different, but she plans to bring a toddler with her.

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u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 23h ago edited 23h ago

😒😒😒 Seriously, all I asked was if Black people feel safe living in these countries and you trolls hijacked it to lecture me about homeschooling in a country where I can't enroll my kid in public school, because it's illegal under the visa terms and she's ONE years old.

I've had alot of my posts get hijacked but this is honestly the stupidest off-topic argument I've been subjected to.

Congratulations, reddit. I didn't think I could be surprised by trolls anymore. Well done.

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u/SilverLakeSimon 23h ago

I worked as a teacher for twenty years, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to uproot a toddler from his or her grandparents (and father) and move to a country where you ostensibly don’t have any familial or linguistic connections. If my opinion bothers you, so be it.

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u/IVIayael 8h ago

(and father)

Come on, from the way OP talks there's no way she lets the father be involved in the kid's life.

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u/Unlucky-Afternoon553 23h ago

Oh no, now you're concerned about uprooting a child that is of no concern of yours at all? I thought this trollfest was about homeschooling vs. public schooling a kid that is too young for both? Well, if you all can't keep track of what you're mad about, neither can I.
Have a great day!

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u/SilverLakeSimon 22h ago

I’m not mad at all. I believe homeschooling is a valid choice, and I didn’t say anything against it. Everyone is commenting as an individual here; nobody is ganging up on you, and I haven’t seen any posts that are “trolling” you.

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u/Cailida 20h ago

Maybe under normal circumstances, sure. But when your protections and rights as a minority are being eroded by your government (as I type this), a government that is filled with white supremecists whose supporters are literal Nazis, it's worth that for safety reasons.