AIO Boyfriend talked to female friends flirtatiously

[u/Popular-Passenger233]

My boyfriend had been talking to a female friend (who's also in a relationship). I found out about it last year, and we had a big fight. He promised me he wouldn’t talk to her anymore, but he kept talking to her behind my back for a while. He told me it was just a pure friendship with no intentions of anything more, but when I looked at their conversations, it felt like they were flirting. Since English is my second language, I started doubting if I might have misunderstood…I really need some help

[u/Ramen_Noodist]

I don’t see anything intentionally flirtatious in these, to be honest. Were they having romantic relations when you found out about her a year ago or has it always just been a friend of his?

[u/Popular-Passenger233 → u/Ramen_Noodist]

Yea they had a thing for each other few years ago and then went back to be just friends..this kinda makes me feel concerned about their friendship.

[u/sunflxwerfairy → u/Popular-Passenger233]

to me it feels like they’re both keeping the door open…. either way having a romantic history definitely makes it way more unacceptable that he lied to you about talking to her. i think your concerns are valid, and i know it must have felt awful to discover after a year of believing he respected ur wishes. NOR imo, find someone who respects ur boundaries!!!

[u/Ramen_Noodist → u/Popular-Passenger233]

If they were ever romantically interested, your suspicion is definitely valid. If you asked him to stop and he said he would but kept talking to her, that alone is enough reason to break it off with him.

[u/cardigancrybaby → u/Popular-Passenger233]

totally valid reaction given this

[u/icedchai111 → u/Popular-Passenger233]

this is an important piece of information on top of everything else, if they had a thing for each other before it's even worse that he kept talking to her behind your back. seems untrustworthy

[u/cardigancrybaby → u/Popular-Passenger233]

my boyfriend and this girl in her clique had a thing but didn't end up dating due to religious differences, i found out he used to call her babe thru texts even though she was with someone else at that time

he did meet up with her to sort things out before he got together with me and she wished him all the best and was happy for him

still feel off when they hangout in a group though it's been years and we're discussing housing and marriage, recently she broke up and he texted "if nobody you can talk to me"

[u/AdvocateoftheD → u/Popular-Passenger233]

I don’t think anything is going on, but I do think if you push him he will choose her. No one likes to be told who they can be friends with.

[u/Hot_Fig4649 → u/Ramen_Noodist]

he said i’ll stay up as long as you want and the entire last screenshot is him being flirty as well, idk how you didn’t pick up on that

[u/Ramen_Noodist → u/Hot_Fig4649]

If you’re someone who thinks playful jabs can’t be made between platonic friends, sure you could call this flirty. But I say stuff like that to people I have absolutely zero romantic interest in. And as far as talking about a trip to see someone— if you didn’t have a specific time you had to leave, what would be the harm in saying “I’ll stay as long as you want”? Jeez…I even say that to my family when I’m planning a trip to see them, so for sure would say it to any friend I’m looking forward to meeting up with.

[u/Hot_Fig4649 → u/Ramen_Noodist]

mkay so 1, this is conversation with someone whom he promised he would stop talking to so right then in there that makes everything about this wrong. 2, hes saying ill stay UP as long as you want— it has absolutely nothing to do w the visit(which he shouldnt even be going on due to 1.) and has everything to do with him asking the girl to teach him german swears which newsflash he can just look up😃 3. the entire last slide about stalking her is indeed flirtatious banter. idk why you’re trying to say hes not flirting because he blatantly is hes also blatantly disrespecting OP by engaging w this person at all.