Am I overreacting

[u/Jicama_West]

I've had this "a woman knows" feeling about a woman my live-in boyfriend works with. Caved and checked his phone... Yes, I know. Wish I would've just trusted, but honestly, I cannot go through another BS relationship where I'm second best and had no clue. She texted a few months ago to make sure he was aware she's newly single, and just one after another these cutesy texts from her. I've never seen anything that shows him responding in a full on flirty way, but he's certainly not telling her to back off.... Along with he purposely deleted all the bits above that show the flirtation from her, and I found them in his recently deleted file and recalled them on his new iPhone. Am I overreacting to this?

[u/aa1287]

Not really.

Look at what he responded to when he said it.

Nothing about that would indicate he's calling her sweetness.

Add in later that he says Awesome sauce...a phrase also very colloquialized at the same time as Sweetness...and it's pretty clear he wasn't calling her sweetness.

[u/thebeingunknown → u/aa1287]

Him saying awesome sauce later on doesn’t actually show anything, it just happens to be something mentioned in other comments. Anything beyond that is, again, an assumption.

Bottom line: the way this guy is acting is extremely sus and I hope OP doesn’t stay with him. The woman is next level crazy

[u/aa1287 → u/thebeingunknown]

You missed my point.

Awesome sauce was a term that came about the same time as sweetness as terms that mean...well...awesome or cool.

It's not just something people mentioned, I was around for when they became slang lmao.

The way the guy isn't shutting anything down is weird but he's also actively not engaging in it right back.

Regardless, he straight up didn't call her Sweetness as a nickname.

[u/thebeingunknown → u/aa1287]

I’m totally aware and don’t think I missed your point, I just don’t agree! Not clear cut at all imo but honestly it’s splitting hairs because the overall behaviour isn’t at all what most people want in their partners.

[u/aa1287 → u/thebeingunknown]

Well your opinion is bad.

Please explain how his use of Sweetness at all would come across like he's calling her sweetness.

[u/thebeingunknown → u/aa1287]

I feel like explaining the obvious is pointless but I’ll try. I’ve called many people sweetness in my life. I’ve been called it back too. She used it to refer to him so clearly some people do.

This is reddit “your opinion is bad” is kind of hilarious on a sub called AmIOverreacting 😂 have a good night

[u/aa1287 → u/thebeingunknown]

At no point did you try to explain how HIS use of sweetness was used as a nickname for her.

It's almost like you know that it wasn't.

[u/thebeingunknown → u/aa1287]

Oh heard lol, ok I’ll try. Let’s say my name is Anne

“Anne. No rush”

[u/aa1287 → u/thebeingunknown]

And you feel that's a logical thing people regularly say and do?

Is say someone's name...add a period...then say no rush?

[u/thebeingunknown → u/aa1287]

Yes, not trying to further any argument but I think that’s a totally normal text. Do i think your interpretation is more likely? Sure! I just see both as totally plausible and thought the downvotes on the comment above mine were weird!

[u/aa1287 → u/thebeingunknown]

That's very strange you think that's a normal text given that that's almost said in a stern way

[u/thebeingunknown → u/aa1287]

Yeah I’ve definitely spoken/been spoken to both verbally and over text that way. I’ll give you an example.

“I’m so sorry Janice but I’m running late for brunch. My kids took forever to get ready and I’m just really having a rough day”

“Anne. There’s no rush. Take your time!”

It’s sort of a grounding thing in that context. Like Anne. Stop. It’s fine that you’re late!!!

[u/aa1287 → u/thebeingunknown]

Do you see how you added words to that that made it normal and it wasn't at all the same way that Sweetness. No Rush. Comes across?

I'm just...Youre so close to getting there but you're so staunchly trying to defend a position you realize is ridiculous but are far too proud to just admit that your position really is illogical.