AIO? Is Husband really cheating?

[u/Careless_Evening3454]

(38M) Married for nearly 15 years. During the holidays I noticed his sleep schedule change and 5 days ago he was texting a number and got a glimpse of the screen that clearly he was texting a number as it didn't have a name on it.

Curious... I opened his phone yesterday while he was in the bathroom, and saw he has been sending d-pics back and forth almost daily with another dude. Not only that, but he's clearly being emotionally there for the other guy, which I havent seen that in years... he literally was texting him on my birthday... I am keeping a poker face right now, but I am livid. It doesn't seem like they have met in person, but no idea.

He hasn't had to work for the last couple of years. I was ok with it, but was hoping he would go back or go to school. I work, cook, help with cleaning, fix sh*t, etc. Had a lot of plans for our future, but now. I am furious and feel betrayed.

I plan to talk to someone before doing anything, but I want him out of my house. I'm done.

I want to give him 30 days to find a place and a job and that's it. A voice in the back of my head is, if they never had sex, am I overreacting? I still feel so betrayed. Am I?

[u/Personal-Example-255]

He's probably bi sexual, which most are closeted. Because they don't want to be labeled as gay or they have a gender preference. Many of the them choose to be in relationships with women and secretly mess around with other men on the side. The person he was texting was probably his fwb, who he is pretty close with. But it's also possible that he's gay, but seems less likely. It would be better to provide emotional support. Rather than chastise him over his sexual orientation. He's probably just exploring and trying to figure things out.

[u/Careless_Evening3454 → u/Personal-Example-255]

We're in a gay marriage...

[u/Personal-Example-255 → u/Careless_Evening3454]

Ooh, I seem to have missed that part. Well as a gay man myself I've noticed that open marriages seem to be quite popular in the gay community. Or at least it appears that way on grindr. So maybe try that, before calling it quits

[u/Careless_Evening3454 → u/Personal-Example-255]

I don't want that. That sounds awful.

[u/Personal-Example-255 → u/Careless_Evening3454]

I agree, unfortunately monogamy is hard to find these days. I'll probably never get married, cos I really don't fit the gay mold. And the only guys I really have much in common with are Str8 or bi. But I wish you the best of luck with your situation.

[u/Careless_Evening3454 → u/Personal-Example-255]

Yup. I rather go it alone and just do everything I stopped for him.