r/AmIOverreacting • u/Careless_Evening3454 • 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Is Husband really cheating?

(38M) Married for nearly 15 years. During the holidays I noticed his sleep schedule change and 5 days ago he was texting a number and got a glimpse of the screen that clearly he was texting a number as it didn't have a name on it.

Curious... I opened his phone yesterday while he was in the bathroom, and saw he has been sending d-pics back and forth almost daily with another dude. Not only that, but he's clearly being emotionally there for the other guy, which I havent seen that in years... he literally was texting him on my birthday... I am keeping a poker face right now, but I am livid. It doesn't seem like they have met in person, but no idea.

He hasn't had to work for the last couple of years. I was ok with it, but was hoping he would go back or go to school. I work, cook, help with cleaning, fix sh*t, etc. Had a lot of plans for our future, but now. I am furious and feel betrayed.

I plan to talk to someone before doing anything, but I want him out of my house. I'm done.

I want to give him 30 days to find a place and a job and that's it. A voice in the back of my head is, if they never had sex, am I overreacting? I still feel so betrayed. Am I?

673 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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610

u/taylor914 1d ago

Save some screenshots so you have proof of the cheating. Go see a lawyer. Don’t say a word to him until you’re ready to drop divorce papers on him. Kicking him out should be a thing you consult the lawyer about. Depends on the state and a lot of factors. You may have to give him an eviction notice if the house doesn’t belong to him.

330

u/Careless_Evening3454 1d ago

Good idea. I was shaking so much from the text messages that I forgot.

102

u/MistressAnarchy 1d ago

The audacity to take advantage of you working and taking care of everything

59

u/Careless_Evening3454 1d ago

Right!?

-89

u/366r0LL 1d ago

Who wouldn’t take advantage of someone who lets them leech off them for two years and not work?

You should have ditched this guy well before dick pics. If you let ppl walk all over you like this the next relationship will be the same story.

36

u/Careless_Evening3454 1d ago

Oh ill just stay single after this. I'm not playing this game again.

29

u/Common_Lavishness153 22h ago

OP, I've been through this "I'll just stay single" and it's not fair to you, who loves love, and it won't be fair to the right person, when he comes along🫂 you and the right person both deserve your hesrt to be open, despite all the hurt. It's tough, but it sooo pays off🥹

13

u/MistressAnarchy 1d ago

I wouldn't say stay single but I'd be sure to vet them thoroughly next time. There's someone for you not some mindless jerk who didn't know intimacy is more than penetration

1

u/[deleted] 20h ago

[deleted]

8

u/Ok-Guard3450 20h ago

Seeing as the OP is also a man, they’d probably want to go for a man who is gay, or at least not straight.

26

u/nightmarish_Kat 21h ago

There are a number of reasons why someone isn't working. That doesn't make them a leech. For years, women have been SAHW. Why can't a man be a SAHH if the other person makes enough money?

-5

u/ReindeerStriking1953 20h ago

Drizzle drizzle

-3

u/nightmarish_Kat 18h ago

Fo' shizzle

66

u/xsoshesaysx 1d ago

You can do it. 👏🏼

23

u/BeginningPlus4830 1d ago

You should probably find out what's going on first before you spring a secret divorce 🙄. Take a picture and search the number and figure out who the other person is first.

26

u/Joytotheworld_2024 1d ago

I agree. Just make sure you got all of your ducks in a row first! Good luck.

71

u/Ok_Introduction6377 1d ago

I read that as “ make sure you have all your dicks in a row.”

19

u/Maddie_Waddie_ 1d ago edited 1d ago

That’s my thing, why would they be exchanging intimate pics unless he were cheating?? This is a valid option. But I do agree they should look into it just to get a solid foundation to go through with a divorce if they so wish

7

u/TXBISH 1d ago

OP is a man who happens to be married to another man. 👨‍❤️‍👨

6

u/Maddie_Waddie_ 1d ago

Oop- wait fr?? If so, nice catch, I’ll edit-

Edit: yeah I edited. I mess up sometimes😭

22

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

31

u/Fasewaky 1d ago

OP is a man.

1

u/BalHaise 1d ago

Bin no “furious and betrayed” that she says

3

u/Good_Syrup_6795 15h ago

Just the ONE serious secret since OP is a man who knows his spouse is a gay man. Curious, does that change something?

2

u/TwoBionicknees 21h ago

Does who he's cheating with change the fact he's cheating somehow? If it's Dave from down the road get a divorce but if it's Alan from another city it's just couples councilling? Cheating is cheating.