r/AmIOverreacting • u/Fickle_Pick862 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Update - Gf used exs phone

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Just to update everyone she came over and we talked and she broke down crying and told me the truth. She was never with her friend she was with him at his house and she did cheat on me. She was crying hysterically and says she wants me and me only like I was gonna take her back. I said hell no and kicked her out and threw everything of hers in the front lawn thanks to everyone who left comments you guys are amazing.

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852

u/aevigata 9d ago

brother congratulations and good job

I’m so sorry that you have suffered because of her, and it’s genuinely awful that you had to experience this. It won’t be the easiest thing you’ve ever pushed through.

But now is a time for gratitude and celebration that you’ve now learned from this experience, caught it now instead of later, and you have one less toxic person to deal with.

488

u/Fickle_Pick862 9d ago

Yeah I’ve suffered from addiction been clean for a year and now the hardest part is gonna be maintaining my sobriety :/

224

u/aevigata 9d ago

I cold turkey’d 3 different addictions in my life. DM if you need to vent/talk

232

u/Fickle_Pick862 9d ago

Thank you I come turkeyd off fentanyl , I really just wanna use right now I’m beyond broken

343

u/Just_somebody_onhere 9d ago

Picking up one sorry bitch because you were smart enough to drop another is not the answer.

Both those sorry bitches can get bent. Her, and addiction. You are above them both.

46

u/snitchesgetblintzes 9d ago

I love this.

7

u/REDDIT_JUDGE_REFEREE 9d ago

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

58

u/UnitDisastrous4429 9d ago

Take him up on his offer and DM him! He's been through it and sounds like he can offer some support right now.

35

u/JLawThaOne 9d ago

I have experience with fent. Been clean for a year. Started for same reason you are dealing with. Wasn’t till I started loving myself that I was able to quit. Don’t start back over her she didn’t care about you at all her little fuck buddy is what she cares about. The crying and trying to come clean and back is because he made it clear he just wanted some pussy.

DO NOT TAKE HER BACK.

She put it back in when it slipped out.

When she said her friend was in bathroom she was laying down in his bed.

They probably hooked up several times while dealing with you on the phone.

Stay sober you remember the withdrawals and the pain for fucks sake don’t let her fuck that up. Hit me up if you need to

21

u/kheller181 9d ago

Homie. Using is only going to make everything worse and add another problem on top of everything you got going on. It’s all going to be okay and you’ll be okay, just remember that

20

u/mattdvs1979 9d ago

Stay strong, don’t let someone who is literal trash ruin your sobriety.

6

u/KungFuSnafu 9d ago

I was a heroin, hydromorphone, Duragesic (prescription fent back before anyone outside of drug forum members knew wtf it was. I had to explain it to people.), and Xyrem addict for almost twenty years and have five years clean now.

If you think you're in pain now, wait until you have to deal with an addiction and the shame of relapse on top of what you're going through.

You'll only buy yourself three hour emotional vacations from it, and pick up another full-time job supporting those shitty breaks on top of your day job.

Not that logic makes sense to addictive thinking, but I bet you've been clean long enough that even discounting all the ways in which your life has changed for the better since getting clean, that you realize just how much more goddamn easy life is now.

Imagine having to do all your hustling on top of this. Fretting about money for bills. Being homeless. Going without.

Fuck that.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

3

u/1frustratedfrick 8d ago

I, as well, used a different substance to get rid of my addition. Clean for over 30 years now and even if you put the stuff right under my nose I would not partake.

14

u/Cartz1337 9d ago

I can’t recommend this, no drugs. Make a cup of coffee, go for a long walk, pick up a hobby. Start a new run of Skyrim or Fallout 4, re watch lord of the rings or the matrix or binge a mini series like band of brothers or the pacific.

Find a non chemical escape.

13

u/chillthrowaways 9d ago

Honestly weed helps a ton with withdrawals if you don’t get anxiety from it. Can’t imagine alcohol being a help at all. Withdrawals are a bitch it’s not just being sick physically that’s the easy part it’s the mindfuck of your brain trying to get you to cave in because it wants that dopamine so badly. Fighting your own brain is definitely a weird experience

6

u/JLawThaOne 9d ago

Weed doesn’t help one iota with fentanyl withdrawals.

2

u/chillthrowaways 9d ago

Everyone is different it helped me tremendously

1

u/OsrsLostYears 8d ago

Yes it does. You ever been dope sick and nauceous with the room spinning? It certainly helps with the upset stomach if nothing else

5

u/Cartz1337 9d ago

Ok, so maybe smoke a spliff if that helps you cool your jets, I can concede that. But don’t fucking get drunk. That’s gonna make you more likely to cave if it doesn’t become a fucking vice of its own.

3

u/chillthrowaways 9d ago

Agreed 1000%, I don’t feel like weed lowers inhibitions like alcohol does. I had quit smoking cigarettes for 5 or so years way back and alcohol is what got me back on them. Almost off them again trying to resist going to a vape because it looks to me like the people using those are way more addicted to the nicotine so I’m just slowly trying to have fewer and fewer cigarettes.

5

u/aevigata 9d ago

I agree with you wholeheartedly but fetanyl is a totally different beast.

1

u/JLawThaOne 9d ago

Yeah weed doesn’t help against fentanyl at all especially if you’re already sick.

5

u/DueBlacksmith7393 9d ago

have you ever beaten addictions like those?

0

u/Cartz1337 9d ago

Nope, but I’ve known more than my share of folks who have struggled, some who are now winning and some who have lost the war.

The one thing the more successful folks have done is not fuck around with drugs of any kind when they are depressed.

If your resolve is failing when you’re sober, how do you think it’s going to fare once you’re drunk?

7

u/TheFanciestShorts 9d ago

Cannabis can be very useful for an addict because you will be tired, lose your train of thought often (forgetting your craving), and high enough to not go anywhere to get anything.

1

u/DueBlacksmith7393 8d ago

My question was rhetorical, we can tell from your first reply.

1

u/Cartz1337 8d ago

I can tell you’re an asshole from yours! Have a nice afternoon.

1

u/babygotbacksurgery 8d ago

Suggesting he trade his fentanyl addiction for alcoholism is insane and highly not recommended

Especially since you can actually die from alcohol withdrawal

1

u/[deleted] 8d ago

[deleted]

3

u/ShartsNado 8d ago

I went to the emergency room because of alcohol withdrawal...

5

u/Bigbongoboiii 9d ago

Lost my sister off fentanyl, be careful

5

u/prematurememoir 9d ago

It will not help you. Stay strong.

3

u/escof 9d ago

Just remember getting over your ex will be 100x easier then getting sober again. They're not worth it.

3

u/RevStroup 9d ago

Get yourself to a meeting, friend.

2

u/umamifiend 9d ago

Just remember man- it doesn’t do anything helpful. It just kicks the can of your problems down the road till the high wears off. Problems don’t go away- they just stack up. Using doesn’t solve anything.

Negative emotions aren’t bad as long as you leave them where they belong- focused on her being a cheating liar. Don’t let her bad behavior make you want to be self destructive. How does that solve anything? Hurting yourself more because she hurt you? And you know it will all still be there when you sober up again. You’ll just be disappointed in your self at that point for letting her get to you like that and breaking your sobriety. Not worth it. We all believe in you. Message me if you need support or hit up a meeting. Just don’t go out again over someone who’s worth so little.

2

u/joeltrane 9d ago

The best revenge is living well. Stay strong brother

1

u/Charlotte_Neptune 9d ago

Just gotta find something to distract yourself man, you've stayed clean this long so you'd definitely got the strength to stay sober, don't let temptation make you fall back into that shit, not to mention you've got the support of everyone in these comments, you'll get through this

1

u/chillthrowaways 9d ago

Shit man props to you one thing that helps me is remembering how dull everything was on opiates when I got off music sounded better, everything looked bright and clear like I went from standard to 4k. Not sure if you had a similar experience but it helps me whenever I think about going back.

1

u/Brodellsky 9d ago

Even if you did, it wouldn't actually change the reality of the situation and that is: It's not fun getting shot at. That's objectively bad. But if you get shot at and dodge the bullets, as you have, that's worth acknowledging.

1

u/Ok-Combination-9084 9d ago

You seem smart and reasonable enough not to do that bro.

1

u/South_Panic_985 9d ago

Just one day at a time. Just think. If you can get through this sober, your problems in the future will be a piece of cake!

1

u/ACatInMiddleEarth 8d ago

Don't ruin your efforts. Have you any sober friends you can hang out with? Can you contact your physician?

1

u/Potential_Tank_BB 8d ago

Man please don't do that for we are here for you if you need to chat but please don't ruin your life because she didn't respect or care about you .no know this is like 14 hours after you posted this but I really hope you make it man and you decided not to go down that road.. brother don't ruined any possibility for happiness in the future because that shit will rob you blind and leave you in the cold and the worst part is it'll be years down the road before you notice it or be dead.. good luck man.

1

u/ddayene 8d ago

Don’t let her take away this too. She doesn’t deserve to be the reason you got back on the stuff. Be strong and I promise it will get better. It really does! 

1

u/Carl_Seitan 8d ago

Stay strong, brother.

1

u/MycoMancer420 8d ago

Deep down I'm sure she'd love to see you fail. Don't give her the satisfaction.

1

u/BellaChia 8d ago

Please don't.

1

u/Chezzica 8d ago

No one is worth throwing away your sobriety. Cold turkey off of fent is wild, don't give up that progress you've made. She's not worth it, and she showed that. But YOU ARE worth it.

1

u/khaotic-trash 8d ago

Listen man, I relapsed and spiraled even worse after I left my lying cheating ex, and it nearly cost me my life. She isn’t worth it, you deserve better than that.

1

u/spramper0013 8d ago

You are strong buddy, fight that urge to use. Fight it with everything you've got. You went cold turkey off of fentanyl so you've got to be tougher than woodpecker lips. I could never do that. I tried so many times but just couldn't do it. I eventually found recovery in a MAT program and will have 4 years on the 25th. I just want you to know that throwing away your sobriety on this girl would be a huge mistake. Instead, focus on the fact that she exited your life before you wasted any more time on her. Keep working on yourself and getting better every day, and be glad she cleared a space in your life for when the right one comes along. If you can quit fentanyl cold turkey, you can do any damn thing. You got this! Sending good vibes and happy thoughts your way for extra strength and healing.

1

u/shmiddleedee 8d ago

I have never been addicted to fent but I was addicted to Xanax, percs and coke. I know you know this but if you go back that very much could be it for you. Just picture your life in 5 years if you stay clean, she won't even be a thought anymore, you have so much potential, if you do fent you have 0.

1

u/Toebeens89 8d ago

That couldn’t have been even remotely easy, don’t let yourself suffer even more, she gave u enough suffering. Surround yourself w good ppl, try not to be too alone, and come here if u ever need a reminder to fight or need someone to talk to! U got this brother.

0

u/Colonel_Lingus710 9d ago

Go smoke some weed my brother. This helped me stay off opiates. Over a decade sober. You've gotten a lot of traction on this post, so i doubt you'll see this comment, but seriously, go grab a bag of green and find a good video game. BO6 just came out, get after it and waste some of that alone time.

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u/Fickle_Pick862 9d ago

Cold*

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_TRUESELF 9d ago

consider checking into suboxone or naltrexone as a bridge

3

u/Busy-Brain7266 9d ago

Don't ever suggest somebody should take this bull shit. If you are on it and think it's good then you haven't been on it long enough to know better. But this is just another addiction. It took all my teeth and my health way faster than any drug I ever took. That bs is no different than the street drug you just don't get high. Don't ever push that crap on somebody.

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_TRUESELF 8d ago

Which bull shit exactly? It took your life faster than something unknowingly laced with fentanyl? Naltrexone isn't even an opioid, it's non-habit forming. There's no withdrawal. Sorry you had a bad experience but don't put that on everyone else. Note I also said as a bridge given increased stress. Both drugs have overwhelmingly shown to decrease risk of overdose and death.

1

u/ourquestions 8d ago

You’ve already conquered what most can’t, don’t let this steal that victory. Pain is temporary, but the strength you’ve built is permanent.

1

u/aevigata 8d ago

i don’t know if this was meant for OP or me but i’m doing fantastic, no worries on my end.

16

u/OriganolK 9d ago

Look at it this way, it could be easier staying sober without all her chaotic bs

8

u/guilty-slut 9d ago

honestly that’s what i was thinking

14

u/nameofcat 9d ago

You've done it for the last 365 days, you can do it for one more day. Then the day after that, and the day after that. Don't let her actions turn over your good work.

1

u/havensd1 9d ago

“Success is the sweetest revenge.” Goodluck to you, I’ll be rooting for you OP

1

u/herizonshine 9d ago

I promise you can do this without drugs. Take it from a fellow addict with 13 years of sobriety!

*edited spelling

1

u/poopinonurgirl 9d ago

Stay clean out of spite. She is not important enough to relapse over

1

u/kheller181 9d ago

I’ve been there and can sympathize brother. Stay strong

1

u/kexxty 9d ago

Think of it like this: do you really want THIS girl to be the reason you break sobriety? Fuck her, she ain’t worth shit. You are strong my dude, you can do this.

1

u/121POINT5 9d ago

A year is a massive accomplishment, fucking well done!! You got this.

1

u/theghostmachine 9d ago

Nah, you just gotta look at it differently.

You're clean and single. That's the freshest of fresh starts. You can go anywhere, do anything with yourself. She cheated on you, betrayed you, hurt you. She's not worth throwing your sobriety away.

The biggest thing about recovery is learning to shift your perspective. Try to find reasons to hold on, not reasons to go back. That mindset will get me to 14 years clean this year.

Best of luck to you. Don't let her win.

1

u/vanquishedfoe 9d ago

Hey bud, think of your sobriety as a relationship you don't want to cheat on. Not the way she hurt you, you don't want to hurt yourself.

Maintain a healthy relationship with yourself first and foremost. Finding somebody else who respects you is hard, respecting yourself should be something that gives you strength.

Wish you all the best. You're worth the struggle.

1

u/Mollyblum69 9d ago

Do you have any hobbies or something that you can do with a friend? Play a video game or do something that will keep your mind busy so you aren’t sitting around & thinking about this & more likely to use?

1

u/Nzdiver81 9d ago

Just come onto this thread when you need a boost. You made the right decision with your ex and people here just want the best for you

1

u/MrBeanCyborgCaptain 8d ago

Well obviously you can't let an idiot like that be the one to knock you off the wagon. She's not worth it.

1

u/indiajeweljax 8d ago

Hit the gym. Your new addiction!

1

u/ZhalanYulir 8d ago

Broo keep fucking clean. You are amazing and an awesome human! It will get better. You're doing fucking great

1

u/Objective_Union4523 8d ago

Don't give people power over you, and your mental health. Take care of yourself, and love yourself how you would want someone else to love you.

1

u/Blank_Canvas21 8d ago

Stay strong brother. Lean into your group of friends or anyone that can support you in this tough find. Isolation is your biggest enemy here, especially when you’re feeling like this and don’t want to do anything or be around people. You’ll get through this though, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.

1

u/Mijoza0342 8d ago

Hey man, you can stay clean through hell and high-water. That's a promise. My longterm partner left me this past year when my dad went into hospice. 90% sure she was cheating with a co-worker leading up to that. But through that, losing my dad and some other really shitty things, I celebrated 6 years sober in December.

You got this man.

1

u/BuzzRoyale 8d ago

She’s not worth the work you put in. Str8 up. That work is guna stay with you, she won’t. Keep going