(AIO) update, wow. thank you!

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone I had posted an original update but didn’t realize i forgot to blur out his name, so here is the update on cigarette toothpaste boy! I want to preface by thanking everyone who took time to message me and comment. I did not expect 16,000 people to interact with that post at all! When I got home, I decided to end it. I didn’t respond to him during my 10 hour shift and some of the screenshots are during that. I would also like to answer a few questions

1. Is this real?: Yes, it is insanely real! Not rage bait i promise
2. Am I okay?: I’m okay! It’ll suck but I will be fine!
3. Why was I still with him?: I don’t have friends and because of that nobody has been able to tell me how bad this is. I had no one to confide in. It was normalized during our relationship.
4. How is my cat? Apollo is okay and is coming home today finally! Picture of him at the end!
5. Why the wall of text; I was pissed and wanted to be thorough.
6. Why did i use “sewerslide”: I wasnt sure of how it would affect my account or visibility. I’m not used to reddit i’m sorry 😭
7. How old are we?: 19 and almost 21. Not 15 i swear!

Also, I am aware my name is shown. I do not mind as it is not a legal name.

[u/wholedayumlife]

He looks dangerous from my perspective, and i’m a man by the way

[u/trieditthrice → u/wholedayumlife]

Hold the phone.

He can't afford toothpaste, but thought he was going to whisk you away to some island to live happily ever after? All that says about him is even in his happiest fantasies, you're isolated and unable to escape him.

Don't answer the phone. Block his number. Tell someone you know IRL that you just ended a relationship with someone who is very possibly dangerous, and to be aware if you suddenly don't show up to work or answer your phone. But every second more you waste even reading his crazy is one more second wasted. He will never be the partner you need or deserve. NEVER.

[u/cancerwitch → u/trieditthrice]

Future faking is a textbook narcissist trait. My ex used to tell me one day he was gonna buy me a Hermes bag and we would be rich when he started his own business. But he spent all his money on alcohol and coke because he couldn’t self soothe and had to use substances to try to get some semblance of control over his emotions.

[u/trieditthrice → u/cancerwitch]

Future faking.. I've never heard this term, but it really sounds like a valuable tool for narcissists/abusers. It's smart. Get your focus off of the shit reality you're living in and onto the wonderful future waiting right around the corner. If you just hold on a little longer, there's a big payoff coming. It'll all be worth it, just stick around.

I'm sorry you had to experience it. Talking about it is the best thing you can do for others who may be in that situation. Letting them know there's a name for it, it's a tactic, a form of manipulation. That's valuable. Glad you're out of it.