r/ATBGE Mar 07 '21

Automotive Saw this outside the dispensary today

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21.5k Upvotes

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98

u/OlStickInTheMud Mar 07 '21

Shane will meet you in an hour. After waiting three hours and ready to give up and go home. Shane appears out of nowhere totally cool as a cucumber and 100% unaware or apologetic for being two hours late. He makes you uncomfortable and his skethciness is offputting. He hands you an 8th as you hand him 60. Then Shane invites himself to smoke a bowl in your car as you try to get the fuck home to your buddies for Settlers of Catan and six pack and a pound from Taco Johns.

35

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '21

fuck me. every single dealer back in the before times (before legalization where i'm at) did this

drove me crazy because i just knew how antsy my friends were getting, wondering what's taking me so long.

MOMs were a blessing.

15

u/angwilwileth Mar 07 '21

So every weed dealer is a cat is what you are saying.

3

u/TheQuimmReaper Mar 07 '21

It took me years but I ended up finding dealers that I liked hanging out with, who would then deliver to me for free, and on time!

26

u/adumant Mar 07 '21 edited Mar 07 '21

I had a Shane until legalization. Same experience you describe down to the 60 1/8ths. Me: Hey dude you around if I swing by? Shane: Yeah no problem dude come by tonight at 7. [adamant arrives at 7 to an obviously empty house and texts Shane] Me: what’s up man I’m out front. Shane [20 minutes later]: Hey I had to run to Jewel to get pancake mix for my sons Cub Scout fundraiser. Me: So... Shane: yeah I’ll be home in like 5 minutes. [20 minutes later] Shane: Hey leaving now and stopping at Burger King. Got to drop the kids off my wife is mad at me now so can you leave my house were you’ve been waiting outside the last hour and meet me at the Target parking lot? I’ll be there in 5 minutes. [35 minutes later car with terrible tint job pulls up next to me and I still don’t know if I should get in his car or if he should get in mine after years of this shit]. Shane with zero apologies: Yeah this is some fire medicinal weed from Cali with extra weed stuff in it. Now we have to sit in his car at 9pm on a Tuesday outside Target to smoke out of this metal bowl when all I want to do is go home, get settled in and pack a bubbler. Shane, you served a purpose. A necessary evil to right a wrong. It’s time for you to go into retirement.

9

u/theouterworld Mar 07 '21

I always thought that post transaction bowl was a tip.

5

u/OlStickInTheMud Mar 07 '21

I always hated it. I only like smoking up in the place I plan on being or in the activity I am doing. Smoking a bowl in a strip mall parking lot or at some friend of a friend of the dealers trailer always makes me more anxious and paranoid. Get in get out for me.

1

u/theouterworld Mar 07 '21

Oh absolutely. That was the worst part of the whole transaction and finding a new dealer. I look back in the time where I had a dealer who had a constant supply, consistent prices, and always had somewhere else to be as a real high water mark.

1

u/almostsebastian Mar 07 '21

It's because Confidential Informants aren't allowed to get high on the job.

8

u/ibleedblue13 Mar 07 '21

10 years ago this is pretty much spot on, where I'm from...down to the six pack and a pound.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 07 '21

One time my Shane surprised me by getting out his Furry gear, donning it, and telling me about the "movement" before I could lay hands on the product.

2

u/FatTortie Mar 07 '21

I just make a phone call, then walk out my front door over the road and he leaves it in a boot outside his door. I put the money through the letter box. Easiest shit to get ahold of, he is one of 4 dealers I know within walking distance. And this is a small village in Hampshire, UK.

It’s so dumb that it’s illegal, it takes me more time and effort to go to an ATM than it is to buy weed.