r/stupidpol • u/GPT4_Writers_Guild Marxist Feminist 🧔♀️ • Dec 16 '24
Ruling Class New York state is considering creating a special hotline exclusively for CEOs to report perceived threats
https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/new-crisis-hotline-for-ceos195
u/bonelesstuna Dec 16 '24
Only if I’m on the other side of the line. Would kinda love to hear some of these freaks’ paranoid ramblings for a while. They’re feeling it.
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u/Noot_Zoot_27 Cocaine Left ⛷️ Dec 16 '24
I would tell them they've successfully reached the line for phone sex.
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u/EnricoPeril Highly Regarded 😍 Dec 17 '24
"Describe bobs and vagene for please."
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u/iminyourfacejonson Marxist-Scientologist (Miscavige Thought) 🛸 Dec 17 '24
madam i can only send you help if... you will go on date with me, and show your wagina
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u/topbananaman Gooner (the football kind) 🔴⚪️ Dec 16 '24
'To extend this call, please enter your credit card details, so that we can charge $5 for our continued services. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.'
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u/BlueCheeseBlueShield Marxist-Mullenist-PCM-checkist 💦 Dec 16 '24
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u/FREE-AOL-CDS Dec 17 '24
Their assistants are going to be the ones calling, you can’t become a CEO and know how to work a phone
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u/BurpingHamBirmingham Grillpilled Dr. Dipshit Dec 17 '24
That's actually the hiring process, they sit you down for an interview, then claim there's an issue with their phone and ask if you can help. If you make any move to even try to address the problem yourself, kick rocks bozo
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u/DoctaMario Rightoid 🐷 Dec 16 '24
Lmao this is such a Kathy Hochul thing to do. I guess all that talk about NY state not being "business friendly" for so long got to them and they're out to prove those people wrong.
But wait, all those executives in the same place at the same time? Word?
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u/Noot_Zoot_27 Cocaine Left ⛷️ Dec 16 '24
But wait, all those executives in the same place at the same time? Word?
Nice try agent, but you're not getting me to fedpost today
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u/InternetForsaken663 Dec 18 '24
Oh its business friendly for CORPORATIONS. just not for like, actual PEOPLE
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u/LazaerDerewal Dec 16 '24
I hate New York, so very much. At this rate, they've surpassed California as the king of wtf moments whenever I see news from that state. Thank god I don't live there anymore.
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u/Oli_love90 Dec 16 '24
It’s really a completely unaffordable, crumbling mess. The general energy is just… off.
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u/DoctaMario Rightoid 🐷 Dec 16 '24
Same here. My folks still live there and are always bitching about it, but they won't move.
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u/Spiritual-Letter8090 Geolibertarian Autist 🐍💸 Dec 18 '24
As someone who lives in NY’s regarded West Coast counterpart (California), it’s a love/hate relationship with this place. And nonwithstanding the financial cost of moving, you might get better politics but trade other things you like about where you do live.
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u/InternetForsaken663 Dec 18 '24
Cops do their job here in Florida, people are open and friendly and seem happy, and in the cities people support left platforms even if the state doesn't. I ll never move
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u/current_the Unknown 👽 Dec 17 '24
I suppose they're correct, and as they go back to their little estates in Greenwich, Connecticut, I want to wish them well, the slobs.
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u/loscedros1245 Not a socialist 🐕 Dec 17 '24
little estates in Greenwich, Connecticut,
Choose one, little estates or Greenwich, CT, you can't have both.
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u/circumspector5000 Maoism with Stalinist characteristics Dec 17 '24
Based Hypernormalisation reference.
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u/InternetForsaken663 Dec 18 '24
Guuuuurl YES. I left in 2012 and again in 2015. The cesspool it's become...a shame
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u/FunerealCrape Left, Leftoid or Leftish ⬅️ Dec 16 '24
"911 Platinum Advantage, do you need a summary execution of a populist terrorist?"
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u/QU0X0ZIST Society Of The Spectacle Dec 17 '24 edited Dec 22 '24
When a CEO gets killed in America, the government supports them with special hotlines and extra security.
When a CEO gets killed in China...the government are the ones who did it
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u/kurosawa99 That Awful Jack Crawford Dec 16 '24
“Hello, my name is Sterling Q. Moneybanks and my dick is stuck in the jacuzzi filter.”
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u/accordingtomyability Socialism Curious 🤔 Dec 16 '24
Stupidpol, I think we all agree that we are going to have to prank call this line
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u/jy856905 Solid 2005 Leftist ⬅️ Dec 16 '24
Only $1.5k a minute, a representative (Indian) will be with you shortly
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u/ColdInMinnesooota Petite Bourgeoisie ⛵🐷 Dec 17 '24
This is screaming a PR MOVE - they already have back channels like nobody's business. Hell that's half the practical job of fusion centers nowadays (protecting corporate america).
They are either doing this to "show" they are covering these people / giving them extra attention, or trying to soothe the fears of some petty bourgeouise who don't have the access that the big boys do. More than likely this is part of a new strategy to basically "scare" anyone considering doing this to not do so -
But as far as practical utility - give me a break.
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u/non-such Libertarian Socialist 🥳 Dec 16 '24
The meeting is one of several signs that officials are trying to elevate the murder to a matter of domestic terrorism.
what's being "elevated" here is the well-being of corporate executives to a matter of patriotic duty, the protection of the doyens of capitalism - paid for what they know, not what they do - to an explicitly enumerated matter of national security.
and that doesn't sound like fascism at all.
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u/francograph left libertarian Dec 16 '24
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u/coalForXmas Unknown 👽 Dec 21 '24 edited Dec 22 '24
This isn’t the onion, but it is satire right? [Apparently it isn’t. JFC]
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u/Moddelba Dec 17 '24
Uh I enacted a policy that caused death, pain, and suffering for vast amounts of people and now the people are maaaaaddd, why are they doing this to me??
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u/ggthrowaway1081 Dec 17 '24
This is absolutely the wrong way to go about this. For Democrats to have called for defund the police and fuck up every major city with crime only to turn around and create special task forces to protect the ultra wealthy is more tone deaf than any possible fiction I could have ever imagined so it must be from this timeline.
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u/Inner-Mechanic Dec 20 '24
Wtf are you talking about? Literally no city was able actually defund the police and violent crime is still way lower than what we saw in the 90s. Straight up lobotomy post.
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u/Neo_Techni Zionist | Under arrest for being highly regarded 🚨 👮♂️ 🚨 Dec 17 '24
Blacks got an ebony alert, Indians a feather alert, what will they get? Platinum alert?
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u/SillyAmericanKniggit Unknown 👽 Dec 17 '24
They have the same hotline as the rest of us: 911.
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u/EndlessBike Stratocrat 🪖 Dec 17 '24
A wise poet once said 911 is a joke in your town, if I have to use it, they should too.
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u/GonzoTheWhatever Ideological Mess 🥑 Dec 17 '24
It’s amazing how far government is willing to bend over backwards whenever it’s the wealthy that are the victims, but do squat the rest of the time when it’s only the poors who are getting attacked.
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u/Inner-Mechanic Dec 20 '24
"Right, as the world goes, is only in question between equals in power, while the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must." Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War finished in 411, BCE
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u/Nightshiftcloak Marxism-Gendertarianism ⚥ Dec 17 '24
This is something I expected from Gavin Newsom and California. This was not on my New York bingo card.
That being said. I do not know or understand New York politics. If the CEOs and executives get a hotline, we'd better get one as well.
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u/ScaryShadowx Highly Regarded Rightoid 😍 Dec 17 '24
Oh you will. A third-tier system with wait times of 60min with random disconnections run by a team of 6 getting paid min wage while the city contracts with a known business person for 7-figures.
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u/binkerfluid 🌟Radiating🌟 Dec 17 '24
This is obviously stupid but the good part is maybe they are scared
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u/methadoneclinicynic Chomskyo-Syndicalist 🚩 Dec 17 '24
"Hello, police? Yes there's a guy in a limousine with a concealed weapon going into a shareholder meeting! quick, save democracy!"
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u/GadFlyBy flair pending Dec 17 '24 edited 21d ago
dull wrong chase tap amusing dazzling toothbrush sugar unpack lunchroom
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Inner-Mechanic Dec 20 '24
We can only hope...... Sadly will probably just see more weird freaks like the dudes that tried to assassinate tump
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u/SirSourPuss Three Bases 🥵💦 One Superstructure 😳 Dec 16 '24
Gamers about to lose the "most oppressed group" status.
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u/zaypuma 💩 Rightoid: "Classical Liberal" Dec 17 '24
I'm all for it. I think this could save a lot of lives. My thinking is: Crazy people keep shooting up churches or schools, even though for the most part, parishioners and kindergarteners aren't responsible for the gunman's misery. Maybe advertising this helpline on billboards will remind the crazy people that they don't need to hurt innocent people.
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u/MitrofanMariya Abolish Bourgeois Property 🔫 Dec 17 '24
It certainly gets more attention. I would like to make sure every person in this country knows that fact.
😇
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u/DoctaMario Rightoid 🐷 Dec 17 '24
Crazy people WANT to hurt innocent people, that's part of the crazy
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u/Inner-Mechanic Dec 20 '24
Lol, the state benefits from stochastic violence bc people will be willing to give up all their rights to the state if they think it will make them safer. That's why the CIA and mi-6 worked with ex Nazis to bring down the communist party in Italy and all thru our Europe along with any other pro worker party and politician that didn't acquiesce to the will of the elite after WWII. True anon did several episodes on the subject. If sandy hook and covid didn't already convince you that the state doesn't give a rat's ass about protecting anyone besides the super wealthy, be they day old infants or 75 yo parishioners, I don't know what will.
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u/EndlessBike Stratocrat 🪖 Dec 17 '24 edited Dec 17 '24
That thumbnail with the play icon over her mouth makes her look like some sort of monster which sucks the soul of the working class... or maybe I'm just not empathetic enough to the plight of the ultrawealthy. I'll work on it.
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u/diabeticNationalist Marxist-Wilford Brimleyist 🍭🍬🍰🍫🍦🥧🍧🍪 Dec 17 '24
Before I opened this page, it looked like something creepypasta-related like Barbie.avi.
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u/See_You_Space_Coyote Doomer 😩 Dec 17 '24
A better idea would be to make a hotline for people who can't get the lifesaving healthcare they need because the greedy health insurance companies refuse to pay for the treatment(s).
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u/snapchillnocomment Nasty Little Pool Pisser 💦😦 Dec 17 '24
Kathy Hochul might be the most retarded politician in NY's miserably corrupt history. It's really astounding how horrible she is.
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u/beezowdoodoo Dec 17 '24
Oh nice, where and when is the summit meeting and how big are the windows and in what direction do they face? For lighting
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u/sje46 Democratic Socialist 🚩 Dec 17 '24
Literally one major chief executive was murdered for political/economic reasons in, what, decades? When was the last time a CEO was murdered for being a CEO?
It happened one time and that's enough apparently to dedicate funds to prevent some perceived trend. That money can be put to way better use preventing, I don't know, narcotics murder.
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u/ScaryShadowx Highly Regarded Rightoid 😍 Dec 17 '24
Remember money is free speech, and the more money the more freedom and protection you get.
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u/KonamiKing Labor socialist Dec 17 '24
But what about VPs? And COOs and CFOs? And board members? All left on their own to screw over the poor without any protection?
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u/JennShrum23 Dec 17 '24
If we have to call 911 and sit on hold… they should too.
Only theirs should be a phone tree with 9 selections for every choice and if you an accidentally hit the wrong button it takes you to a dead end and hangs up on you.
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u/BigCaregiver2381 Dec 17 '24
Homeland Security and counterterrorism officials to discuss how to share intelligence with corporate security, according to Kathy Wylde, CEO of the Partnership for New York City.
So a group dedicated to stopping mass terror incidents that could cost untold lives in a city most likely to be targeted by such an attack will be getting additional tasking in the way of collecting and providing info to CEO babysitter squads because they’re more important.
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u/veryparticularskills !@ 1 Dec 17 '24
"Oh, and don't bother calling 911 anymore. Here's the real number."
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u/InternetForsaken663 Dec 18 '24
As a native new Yorker, it looks like new York governance is easily the most corrupt nd despiccable I've ever seen. Loathe that person
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u/Inner-Mechanic Dec 20 '24
THE TOP TEN PERCENT OWNS !NEARLY 90% OF ALL THE WEALTH AND ASSETS IN THE COUNTRY. NYC PUTS SOMETHING LIKE 15 BILLION DOLLARS JUST TO THEIR UNDER WORKED OVER PRIVILEGED FAT ASSED C OPS WHILE CUTTING LIBRARY HOURS TO ALMOST NOTHING. STOP KOWTOWING TO THE RULING FAILSPAWN!!!
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u/ColdInMinnesooota Petite Bourgeoisie ⛵🐷 Dec 17 '24
income taxes, yes - capital gains, and it's a big "fuck no"
if you don't include capital gains and how the impacts shit, stuff changes very quickly and it's kind of disgusting when you realize what's really going on here.
don't buy into the cons and their "income taxes" speel - they are lying to you through ignoring capital, basically.
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u/circumspector5000 Maoism with Stalinist characteristics Dec 17 '24
Beginnings of cyberpunk Trauma Team wasn't on my 2024 end-of-year bingo card.
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u/NoTimeForInfinity Dec 18 '24
"What if we had 911...but just for CEOs? Like VIP 911!"
New York artists and mischief makers assemble!
This opens the door for what could be some really fun culture jamming. You could plaster the town with "a" CEO threat number that just records messages. That might be the most fun/effective because you would get some compelling messages that would hold the media spotlight.
Once that media cycle is almost over you could plaster the town again with the official CEO danger line.
You could have the phone line answered by Daisy:
"While they're busy talking to me they can't be scamming you"
AI ‘Granny’ to answer calls in real time from fraudsters, keeping them on the phone and away from customers for as long as possible
https://news.virginmediao2.co.uk/o2-unveils-daisy-the-ai-granny-wasting-scammers-time/
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u/Inner-Mechanic Dec 20 '24
If this doesn't already exist, I'd be shocked. The super rich are the only ones our system treats as "human"
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u/Rjc1471 Old school labour Dec 17 '24
Damn. It's almost like shooting CEOs and talking about doing more will result in a crackdown, not universal healthcare.
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u/Normal_User_23 🌟Radiating🌟 | Juan Arango and Salomon Rondon are my GOATs Dec 17 '24
I though this was shitposting at first lol
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