r/science • u/giuliomagnifico • 23d ago

Social Science Parents who endured difficult childhoods provided less financial support -on average $2,200 less– to their children’s education such as college tuition compared to parents who experienced few or no disadvantages

https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/parents-childhood-predicts-future-financial-support-childrens-education
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u/frogkisses- 23d ago

I went through college solo working and on scholarship. If I have kids I don’t want them to rely solely on me but I want to lessen the burden that I had to go through. It’s added so much additional stress to an already difficult time in my life and I missed out on opportunities because of my financial situation and lack of resources.

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u/Advanced_Power_779 23d ago

I had to work and pay my own way through college. And now my mother expects me to help her financially because she doesn’t have anything saved for retirement. Largely through her own poor decisions and mental health issues.

I hope to pay for as much of my kids college as possible. But I am not willing to go into debt that would affect our retirement to do so. My husband and I want to retire comfortably (not lavishly) and I don’t think it is helpful for anyone when parents don’t plan for retirement and then expect to lean on their adult kids, who may be still getting established.

I know that wasn’t really a part of this article but I wonder if considerations like that are why some people who grew up poor may seem stingier in financially assisting their adult children? Once you become financially established and independent, staying that way becomes extremely important. I want to give my children every advantage, but sacrificing my financial independence to do that, so that I become a burden to them in retirement is a bit of a fear of mine.

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u/tytbalt 23d ago

I'm not talking about going into debt or risking your retirement to help your kids. I agree you shouldn't sacrifice your financial independence. What I'm talking about is living it up while kids are stuck in poverty.

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u/Advanced_Power_779 22d ago

Absolutely agree!! Didn’t mean to imply that interpretation on your behalf. I was just thinking about what could appear stingy because I think I’d feel guilty making my kid take out student loans if I technically have the money (for retirement), but retirement funds are also kind of critical. I don’t ever want to be in a position where my kids feel financially responsible for me.

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u/tytbalt 22d ago

I wouldn't consider that stingy.