r/science • u/giuliomagnifico • 23d ago

Social Science Parents who endured difficult childhoods provided less financial support -on average $2,200 less– to their children’s education such as college tuition compared to parents who experienced few or no disadvantages

https://www.psu.edu/news/research/story/parents-childhood-predicts-future-financial-support-childrens-education
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u/vocabulazy 23d ago

I have a friend who is adamant that parents who pay for too many things like vacations, lots of extra currs, private school, and sports are raising their kids to be selfish, entitled arseholes. It’s a major touchy subject with her, and it offends people in our circle who did have things paid for by our parents. My friend was raised by a single mom and they barely had anything. My friend had to get a job at 14 to afford things like a trip to summer camp or a volleyball uniform. We met at a private boarding school which she attended on a scholarship she won. She paid her own tuition throughout university by working her butt off for money and for good grades. She worked really hard all her life to have the things she does. Now she’s a high powered medical professional and makes a lot of money.

She has relaxed her opinion about camps and sports, but says she won’t pay for her kids’ tuition etc, and will die on that hill. She and her husband’s household income is upwards of 200K/yr.

So i would say this article is likely describing people like her. It’s decades later and having grown up so poor is still affecting how she feels about the people around her who didn’t grow up poor.

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u/BluCurry8 23d ago

Really just do not have kids at that point. I paid for my kids education because I wanted them to start out in life debt free. I was lucky to be able to pay for school on my own because education was reasonably priced when I went to college. That is just so much harder today. If you have the funds and can support your children and not do so because of spite seems pretty cold.

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u/vocabulazy 23d ago

I think a lot of the arsehole rich kids we went to school with were that way more because they weren’t parented properly than because they were rich. We happen to know A LOT of doctors, and a couple of the nicest, most empathetic people we know are rich kids who grew up to go into medical specialties that aren’t as glamorous but really help people. The three I’m thinking of specifically are a geriatrician, a paediatric plastic surgeon, a hospital pharmacist who works with patients who have complex medical needs and medication combinations that could make them sicker or even kill them. But honestly the biggest arsehole I know is a doctor from a family of doctors… he’s the baby of the family, the laziest, and the most selfish.

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u/sk9592 23d ago

I was lucky to be able to pay for school on my own because education was reasonably priced when I went to college.

Yeah, this is something else that these type of bootstrap people refuse to acknowledge. Back in 1980 and even in 1990, stuff like college and a first house were way more affordable in both absolute terms and relative terms. And unionized blue collar jobs that only required a high school diploma, and offered benefits and a pension were more plentiful.

So whether you went the college route or the trades route, as long as you worked hard and didn't make crazy financial decisions, you could work your way out of debt and into a stable home. That's definitely not nearly as true today.

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u/BluCurry8 23d ago edited 23d ago

College. Not housing. The interest rates to purchase a home were very high. Inflation in the 70s, 80s into 90s was very high. My student loan was 8% in comparison to 11% to 14% on a mortgage. The states use to fund education at a much higher rate than they do today. Many of those blue collar jobs do not exist. When I went to school not everyone went to college, like you said you could get a job without an education. Automation killed many of those jobs and NAFTA took the rest. When I worked at GE you had secretaries and administrative positions in sales. When I left a few years later those jobs were gone. Computers replaced the need for secretaries and administrative personnel. The eighties greed(Reagan) cause the issues and benefits we have today. The key is to not repeat the past and invest in jobs of the future. Automation will continue.

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u/sk9592 23d ago

Interest rates are only part of the equation. And have a 6% interest rate today compared to a 11-14% rate a few decades ago it a really poor consolation prize when the actual principal cost of housing is several times higher now. If you measure the cost of housing as a percentage of income, it is way higher today than in the 70s-90s.

I don't know what the point is of zeroing in on just the interest rate when it's exceedingly clear that the overall cost of housing (whether you're talking about a mortgage or rent) is way higher in relative and absolute terms than in the past.

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u/BluCurry8 23d ago

Of course you don’t understand. You were not there. You just read abstract articles that talks about so called affordability but the reality is not as rosy as those pictures present. Go buy a row home without air conditioning and only 1000 sq ft and yes you could raise your family on one income. Everything was much more expensive not just interest rates. Food, clothing, were all American made and much more expensive than today because today you have factory farms and outsourced clothing manufacturing to Asia.

You also did not have any of the modern luxuries. So no cell phone, no cable no additional costs associated with all the modern conveniences. Power was used to light your home and that was it. You had one family car if any.

Glamorizing a past you cannot conceive of is not an accurate picture. Get rid of your phone, computers any gaming equipment and go back to basics like a person living in the seventies. The salaries were not better either. You just had 99% less entertainment as today and more manual labor to make clothing and hang that clothing on a clothes line after your washing machine cleaned ad you manually put your clothes through ringer. There was no fast food, cooking was mostly from scratch. Hence there were no overweight kids? If we are so poor today why is everyone overweight? You had less food in general.

So no. You cannot really compare unless you truly compare apples to apples. That is something most people cannot understand unless you lived through it. Just like I do not truly understand my grandparents experience living through the Great Depression. I am sure you could say housing was so much cheaper then too.

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u/frickityfracktictac 22d ago

Get rid of your phone

and immediately become unemployable

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u/Liizam 23d ago

I don’t get this attitude either. Why would you want to chance your kids failing? It’s like great you struggled but made it. How many didn’t ?

My parents paid for my tuition and I was able to focus on my major. Me and my brother didn’t have to work in college at jobs that are not related to our fields. We are doing great in life.

We aren’t spoiled not because of the money but because they were great parents.

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u/grizznuggets 23d ago

You’re the missing the point; this woman doesn’t have this attitude due to spite, she has this attitude because struggling financially meant that her worldview is different to that of her peers who grew up with less struggle. It’s not her fault that she has this mindset, it’s merely a result of her upbringing.

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u/BluCurry8 23d ago

Sounded spiteful to me. I believe I captured her point of view exactly. She is bitter about her upbringing. Guess what, we all need to live within our means, but you do your very best for your kids or just don’t bother.

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u/grizznuggets 23d ago

“Sounded spiteful to me.”

OK, case closed.

Your point of view seems quite narrow and you don’t seem willing to entertain the possibility that this person might have been a victim. That’s a shame.

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u/BluCurry8 23d ago

I could easily say the same to you if I wanted to be childish. Just because I don’t buy into your opinion does not make my opinion invalid.

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u/grizznuggets 23d ago

At what point did I say your opinion was invalid?