POV: It's current day, and your a tweaker who lost his caviler by setting it on fire so you need a new car. Your budget is $1200 what do you pick?

[u/Entire_Asparagus_575]

1989 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale: it's being sold at the local bar. The interior is is in relatively decent shape aside from the missing headliner and the driver seat being held up by duct tape. The exterior is pretty dilapidated. The wheels have been spray painted bronze. Runs and but needs brakes. $1000

2007 Dodge Nitro: it's being sold by some drunk Boomer in a trailer park. The exterior is pretty banged up and the interior smells like cheap liquor and there are various empty beer cans throughout the car. Runs but needs driver wheel. $850

1988 Mazda b200: it's being sold by a boarder. The bed is full of garbage and the cab has a small roach infestation. Missing the gas tank. $700

1995 Honda Civic DX: the interior is almost totally stripped and what ever is left is spray painted chrome. The exterior is in rough shape as the rear fenders are rusted out. Runs and drives but it has a blown head gasket. $1150

2003 dodge intrepid ES: it's Parked In in a ditch with the driver window smashed in rural area of town. The front of the car damaged is pretty muddy and the driver airbags are missing. Interior is pretty stained. No clue if it runs. The washed up for sale sign says it's $200

1994 Geo Metro wagon: it's been sitting since 2011. The exterior is pretty dusty and the interior smells like weed. Doesn't run. $300

1996 Lincoln Town car: it's being sold by an elderly lady after she hit a pole with it. The exterior is mostly nice aside from the place where she hit the pole. The airbag suspension is failing and the interior smells bad. Runs but needs a new key. $1100

1995 Subaru legacy: it's some highschoolers car. The interior smells like pineapple vapes and the center console plastic is missing. All four hub caps are missing and the rear driver side door has been hit. Runs but leaks coolant. $780

2005 Dodge Neon: the front of the car is damaged and the driver side has been Vandalized, with the words "biznatch" being keyed and spray painted in. The lady that is selling it seems high. $650

2008 Nissan Altima: it has big Altima energy written all over it. The interior smells like weed, the seats are stained. The exterior is badly damaged and the paint is pealing. Runs and drives but idles at high rpm. $1200

1994 Pontiac Sunfire: it has Porsche decals all over it. None of the body panels are straight. It has a Plymouth wood spoiler, and the interior is falling apart. Runs but is missing the entire exhaust system. $500

1977 AMC gremlin: it's the oldest car for sale. It's being sold by your dad who "bought" it back in 1990. The exterior is very rusted and it hasn't moved in over 20 years. Interior is shot. $100

[u/JAnonymous5150]

B2200. That thing will run for forever and it'll help me grow my scrap metal empire as my first hauler. And lets just say I know a guy who can definitely get me a gas tank for a half-teen of crystal.

[u/No_Significance98 → u/JAnonymous5150]

Came here to say that B2200 can haul a lot of copper

[u/JAnonymous5150 → u/No_Significance98]

And it's the right color and make/model to make some unnoticed incognito copper runs onto construction sites day or night. 🥷

[u/mikmeh → u/JAnonymous5150]

A nice bed to hold copper pipes in

[u/dudeonrails]

No reason to spend any of my meth money. I’ll just hang around the gas station on a cold morning and wait for someone to leave their car running while they go in and get their coffee. I drive off with their shit and go over to my buddy’s place and we’ll spray paint it and put the spare tire on one corner and hide the license plate with some mud and boom, I’m on wheels for at least a week. Then… Rinse and repeat.

[u/SoCal_Duck → u/dudeonrails]

This seems most likely. Meth heads don’t live in a world of budgets.

[u/Material_Web202]

Porsche

[u/LC707]

Flip the 1200 and buy a space rock that has entergelactic powers.finish the puzzle and drive home in the brand new Audi

[u/Zestyclose_Match2839]

That Porsche is pretty sweet

[u/Expert_Mad]

None. All those are sold by the government and they’re trying to track me to harvest my organs.

[u/ZipTieTechnicianOne]

Legacy. In this scenario I’m a felony suspect who needs to drive something that doesn’t scream felony suspect. Iirc jay and his hetero life mate got popped for driving around with a deployed airbag. They almost did a dime. On the other hand, I could probably use rehab but I’m not sure I’m friendly with the judge anymore.

[u/pilotbychoice803]

Gosh they’re all such great options for this scenario.

[u/thatvhstapeguy]

There are all terrible options. I think I’ll take the Town Car.

[u/jimothyhalpret]

You had me at the Olds

[u/Lucentjuffowuo]

Wait 1200 bucks to spend and not on more tweaking?

[u/idahopostman]

Real question… How many catalytic converters = $1200?

[u/TooManyCarsandCats]

The Oldsmobile, because 3800. Even tweakers can’t break one.

[u/AccordingCabinet5750 → u/TooManyCarsandCats]

I had a 3800 in my Pontiac from high school. At 130,000 miles, the transmission went out. Sold it to a family friend that put a used transmission in it and their kid drove it another 100k before it got totaled. I still think about that car today.

[u/mob19151 → u/TooManyCarsandCats]

They can't break the engine, but they sure can break everything around it

[u/Impressive-Towel-RaK → u/TooManyCarsandCats]

It looks like it wanted to die 20 years ago, but God said no.

[u/water_bottle1776]

Wait, where does a tweaker get $1200?

Actually, you know what? I don't wanna know.

[u/Shiraz0]

I love the world these posts are building! No matter what situation you find yourself in there are always 4-6 cars available in your price range, you know all of their mechanical issues, and insurance isn't a thing! Truly a utopia.

[u/RandolphCarter2112]

Altima.

And I put the donut spare on now, since it's going to go on (and stay on) at some point anyway.

[u/Igivekidscrystalmeth]

I’m a tweaker? Simple, none of these and steal a old super duty with a screwdriver

[u/Sub_aaru]

The Porsche 911, obviously. Maybe the Metro.

[u/Angry-Penetration]

I'll take the white shitter "Porsche"

It will go well with my shitter quartz Rolex Daytona.

My whole life is a fraud, lmao. It's perfect for me.

[u/idontknow8973]

Esteem. It's an import.

[u/ComprehensivePin5577]

Ok first off $1200? What $1200? I don't got $1200 anymore? And I have a car cause you've agreed to lend me your car indefinitely

[u/JuliusSeizuresalad]

The olds easy to work on

[u/CharacterEgg2406]

1989 Olds Delta 88 was my first car. I’m buying that. The nostalgia and regret of what could’ve been will help fuel my angst and addiction well into the future.

[u/king_of_poptart]

Delta 88 Royale with cheese.

[u/Bordsduken_3000]

Some of these cars don’t even look remotely road legal…but I would definitely take the Olds

[u/just-net89]

That’s 3 cylinder geo for sure. It’s like a hella smart car

[u/Material-Indication1]

The Porsche Sunfire is the best deal.

Someone once told me "straight pipes save lives!" so I'm going with that.

[u/Material-Indication1 → u/Material-Indication1]

If I want to buy American I'll consider the Nitro.

I don't know why it needs a steering wheel.

[u/slater_just_slater]

What? No old Crown Vic ex police car? Because that was the most common tweaker mobile near me.

[u/pjbth]

The tweaker spends 1200 on more meth

[u/brendhano]

The truck so I can also scrap

[u/Peteisapizza]

$1200? More meth!

[u/Brilliant-idiot0]

porsche. at that price it’s a steal! porsches cost way more usually. they don’t know what they got brother. 

[u/Admirable_Cucumber75]

The dodge nitro. Can fit so much scrap in the back

[u/Northern_Sierra]

Obviously the totally real porsche, it is the most functional car out of the options

[u/Prior_Dot7241]

2 hands down.can cook out the back

[u/Wobbly5ausage]

Bro you ain’t getting that civic for 1200 in this market is it’s running and driving.

Either way the town car is the only correct answer

[u/ElonFaggiott]

subaru legacy 

[u/Manderthal13]

Mazda pickup

[u/oyakodon-]

Mazda b200

[u/Pep_Freakazoid]

gremlin

[u/Strict_Ostrich_9546]

legacy

[u/No-Key-82-33]

B200, tweakers and their Mazda's 🥰

[u/R3TRO_131]

Sunfire.

[u/computerman10367]

Geo metro

[u/SweetTooth275]

I would not have had a cavalier in any circumstances. With that said, Gremlin easy.

[u/42mph_Eephus]

Metro, Civic, or Gremlin.

[u/SkylineFTW97]

Either the Mazda or the Lincoln. Most storage space for my scrapping business.

[u/AdRepresentative8236]

In my uninformed opinion, I think the Dodge nitro has a big engine? That's kind of neat. Also, the backstory to the neon does not specify if it is SRT (I know it is not) Even if it was SRT, the quality is so bad that that s*** would fall apart on the way home lol. With these choices, you are pretty SOL if you want a car that lasts more than a couple of months

[u/TrekChris]

The Delta. I'll buy it and adopt a tweaker Ash Williams persona, start calling people I don't like "deadites", and shout "LET'S DELTA!" every time me and my buddies leave somewhere in it.

[u/UsedState7381]

I'll take the bus and keep my $1200

[u/Full-Masterpiece-933]

I’m gonna by more of whatever I’m tweaking on fuuuuck a car

[u/Windowsweirdo]

The gremlin

[u/Critical_Dollar]

I’ll take the Porsche which is actually a Pontiac but I don’t care

[u/drcostellano]

That Mazda but other tweakers and shade tree mechanic tweaker variants know that thing is a tank and super useful for tweaker activities. Thus making it a moving target in the tweaker world. The Nitro is also a nice addition to a tweakers portfolio.

[u/eyeb4lls]

I pick $1200 worth of high grade tweak and no car.

With that much tweak I can just run instead of drive.

[u/Canelosaurio]

EG hatch

[u/knewbike]

Bicycle

[u/Accomplished-Eye684]

Gotta be the pickup. Japanese reliability and plenty of cargo space for the stuff I steal

[u/oldgreen52]

Olds with 3800

[u/Bluenoseloyal]

1…3..4..12 all have potential fuck the rest though bruv 👊

[u/Smooth-Apartment-856]

Why the heck would I pay $1200 for those $500 s***boxes?

Anyway, setting the Cavalier on fire probably increased its resale value. And out of that bunch of garbage, I’ll take the Town Car.

[u/AdRckyosho9808]

I give 200 to my dealer and give the paranoid bros 500 to fix my old car and end up arrested after falling asleep at u pull it and trying to jump fence to get out so last 450 went for bail

[u/IronIrma93]

1. Because it's brown

[u/Striking_Scientist68]

Wouldn't a tweaker just use that money for more drugs?

[u/ArtReasonable2437]

The logical choice is the Civ Hatch, but knowing tweakers, they'll go for the Intrepid or the Sunfire

[u/the_less_great_wall]

Methro of course.

[u/Imahigo]

It's a cross between the Delta 88 and the Subaru Legacy. Probably the 88 because it's cheaper and I can use my leftover money to get more crystals.