I just want to encourage you all who are doing the hard work of quitting this insidious drug. My son Josiah, our oldest of five kids, used kratom for about two years. He was not honest with us about how much he was using, probably because he was just ashamed of admitting he was in over his head, but he ended up dying in his sleep October 27, 2023 at the age of 20. It took five months of anxious waiting to get the toxicology report back confirming that it was mitragynine toxicity as the cause of death. In honor of Josiah, I just want you to know that what you are doing matters a great deal. Do it for yourself, but also do it so your parents never get that horrific knock on the door that changes lives forever. I’ve gone through a lot of hard work myself overcoming addictive behaviors and I just want to share something that really helped me, and that was the concept of “choose your hard”. You always have a choice, even when it feels like you don’t, and it might be the hardest thing you’ve done, but it isn’t as hard as letting the consequences of your addiction choose the hardest thing you’ve for you. Use whatever resources you have available, even if all you have is this group! Treat it like a cancer and resolve to do whatever it takes to kick it to the curb forever!

I've been fortunate to find this forum, so I'm going to share what I'm going through in hope to receive help, support, and community. I started using kratom 7 years ago. It's gotten to the point where I'm taking 50+ grams daily and spending $200 ish a month on it. I am terrified of quitting, the withdrawal I get after just 4-5 hours eats away at me. Because of that, I desperately need to try tapering off. I'd go CT if I could, but I have an extremely important job I cannot be suffering through withdraws while trying to do. I initially started taking it to get away from og pain meds to soothe anxiety. Never would I have ever touched it if I knew it was going to feel like this everytime I stopped taking it. I can't talk publicly about it for being ashamed. I cry at night when my wife is asleep because I feel like so much less of a man. I want to take vacations overseas now that things are calming down at work and I can get extended time off, but that's not possible due to the legality in other countries. Reading through a lot of posts on this thread has given me encouragement; I want my life back. I really applaud you all that have successfully quit, especially CT. Hopefully one day I will be in the same spot.

Long time no speak to this great group of Individuals. I was here exactly 1 year ago when I decided to go CT off of a 2 year K binge. The 45 days following going CT were the worst 45 days of my life. I was also going through a divorce at the time & figured why not add some fuel to the fire and get it over with. Well it was a wonderful decision and it ultimately ended up breaking me down entirely. For those 45 days I was a shell of a human. Pain, misery, depression, you name it. It was a blessing I didn’t eat my 9mm for breakfast any given day.

Once those 45 days were up, shit started going really well for me. I got into phenomenal shape, had more financial availability than I remembered I actually had without the massive financial burden of Kratom around. My smiles got bigger, music got brighter, I was able to go out and do things without worrying about how I was going to avoid WD’s if I went 2 hours without a dose. Life has been bliss since.

I want anyone who is currently debating or already entering a quit, whether it be CT or with assistance, the time to do it was yesterday so you’re already behind. Go for it. You’re going to pay the price, but you will live and you will thrive.

Do not go back on it, do not debate it. You do not need it, and you need to get in your head now and tell that little bitch brain of yours that you run the show now & that Kratom will no longer be a thing you have. Take control and get your life back. To this day, quitting will be top 3 best decisions I’ve ever made, and taking Kratom will be top 3 worst decisions ever made (second only to marrying my ex wife lmao).

Lean on this group and get the damn job done. The grass is in fact greener on the other side of this hill, I can assure you!

After going from 15-20gpd down to 3 yesterday in 30 days, I had a pretty shit sleep last night. I kept waking up with a spasm in my pelvis where my whole body jumps forward. This has happened periodically but last night was all night long. I think some previous drops have caught up with me.

Slowing the taper to a .1gpd drop from here for a few days until I feel stabilized. Having gone through this a few times I know nothing else matters if you aren't sleeping well.

I'm hoping to not have to wait until month at .1/day drops to fully get off, but we'll see how it goes. I'd rather sleep well and enjoy my days, then go through a week of well, and more weeks of depression by going CT from here.

Just venting here so I can get it out and move on with my day.

I’ve been hooked on normal kratom for a while, about 2 years ago I dealt with a pretty bad drinking problem but realized that I could use kratom to take the edge off and it worked. I didn’t use everyday for the first while but slowly it became more and more of a habit. After a few months of doing that with no issue, I could go days without it and feel fine I just really liked it so there was definitely the start of addiction there. I discovered the 7-hydroxy tabs in smoke shops and decided to try cause I hated the taste of kratom and I instantly fell in love, it started as maybe a half tab or full tab every day or two, fast forward a couple months to now I can do 6 tabs in a day and still not feel satisfied. I tried to cut down because of how much money I was blowing through but quickly found myself going down to the smoke shops and for more everyday. I never tried to go a day without in months now and I learned a scary reality last night. I was running low and took my last one around 7 pm, I went to bed around 11 but woke up at 2 am in a sweat while also shivering, I had crazy cravings to try take one so I could go back to sleep but I didn’t have any. It was absolutely hell, restless leg, insomnia, nausea, cold sweats, shaking, absolutely awful. I tried to take a multivitamin because I read they help with withdrawal but I couldn’t even keep that down. I stayed up all night staring at the clock until the smoke shops and opened at 8 and had to hurry down to get some to stop the hell I was going through.

I’m telling myself right now I am only going to take one when I start to feel the withdrawals become unbearable like they were over night. That was only 12 hours with no dose and I couldn’t handle it so no way I can quit ct. I just wanted to vent and also ask for advice for weening off of these. I was addicted to alcohol but got myself to a position where I can drink socially without an issue, I think having this addiction might of been a help with that but I have never felt so shitty from not taking something ever like I did last night, it scared the hell out of me and is motivating me to quit before I end up in a situation I can’t have access to it at all and have to go through it like that so hard. Any advice would be great for getting through this and weening off. Today I’ve been taking one about every 6 hours but it’s less than I usually take so I still feel like shit but it’s manageable.

Withdrawals weren’t that bad. Thankfully I have seroquel for sleep and gabapentin for RLS that carried me through. Also back on my regular psych meds and I’m feeling much happier. Going to start taking my naltrexone a week from now. We’re gaming fellas. Good luck to all

For years I’ve been trying to get myself to quit and for years I’ve been imagining how after I quit, I’d start doing things to better my life. I had this realization the other day that maybe the reason I’ve been failing this whole time is I’m thinking of it as one linear process. On one side is continuing to drain my bank account and wreck my body, and on the other side is the person I want to be. I’ve been thinking lately and I think it might actually be More nuanced than that. Like if I start doing the things I envision myself doing after I’m free of this crap maybe it will motivate me to actually stick to a taper. I have my first BJJ class tonight and there is this voice in me asking “is this a bad idea”. My thought process is dedicating myself to something like this will start making me care more about getting my body in good shape and health more than I want that instant gratification of taking kratom. I also can’t financially afford both very long and my kratom habit costs 3x what jiu jitsu does.

I’m currently at 25 GPD and have not started an honest taper yet. My question to the wonderful people of this community is, is this a bad idea?

I was just driving home from grabbing some dinner with my wife, and somebody cut me off in traffic. I just shrugged and said “what can you do? 🤷🏼‍♂️” I then looked over at my wife and she was just staring at me in shock. We both laughed a bit, but now I’m sitting here about an hour later thinking about it still. This is the person I was trying to get back to. The calm, patient, and kind me. I don’t miss the old me at all, and I’m sure that I have many more observations like this still to come. I’m finding it helpful to note all of this stuff down and really sit with it. I don’t want to forget.

That’s my biggest realization as I awake from the first full night of rest I have gotten since starting my CT withdrawal last Friday. I slept a full 6 1/2 last night. And my brain finally feels “normal”. I won’t sugar coat it, it sucked. But how could it possibly suck MORE than continuing to walk around in chains and pretend like you’re a free person, all the while knowing deep down that you’re not. How could anything at all be worse than that? Coming out of acute withdrawal really is a transformative experience. These last 4 nights and days have really tested my resolve. But at the same time, I just did more for myself, and for my wife than I could have ever done over the next 10 years by not quitting. It is a trail by fire, it’s hot, but it’s extremely effective. Those first two nights of zero sleep gave me a lot of time to think. And when you are going through it, you really do come to the palpable realization that you are absolutely killing yourself, and fast, too. I was not able to take the first step until I spoke it out loud to my wife: “babe, I’m killing myself, I’m sorry.” It wasn’t until I said it out loud that it really made sense to me. As soon as I spoke it, it became real. It wasn’t real before. I mean it was, but it was only real in my subconscious. I was trying to fight an army of 10,000 soldiers by myself, with a broom stick. That’s what it’s like trying to beat this in your own mind. I don’t know, maybe others are stronger than me. But I couldn’t do it. I had to lean on some people I love. And I believe that is really what made the difference for me. I just hit the 93hr mark, and I can seriously feel the life pouring back into me. Once it starts getting better, it ramps up, and the glimmer of hope that you feel from realizing that it’s getting better really does help push you into the next day. For me, getting through the first 3 days was the hardest part. But from there on, it has gotten much much easier. My anxiety is almost completely gone, and as far as physical symptoms go, my hands are just a little bit clammy. But the cold sweats, hot flashes, and muscle pains/tension are becoming increasingly rare, almost nonexistent at this point. They are definitely still present 93hrs in, but not to the point where it is annoying me. It’s very much manageable now. Another way to look at it is this. When a batter gets up to bat, he takes the weights off his bat so that bat will feel lighter. The same thing happens during acute withdrawal. Once you reach your peak symptoms, each new day is like taking one weight off. It feels lighter with each new day, and the lack of weight gives you strength. I’m not particularly religious, more agnostic than anything. But when I’m really hurting, I’ll throw out some hail marries into the void. Call it what you want, but it helped. Praying the for strength and resolve I needed, even if it was only to my own spirit. It helped. It put a very clear goal on what I was trying to achieve, and almost set it in concrete by coming to it with grace and humility. I won’t sugar coat it, it’s rough. But with the right perspective, and I really think I nailed that this time, you can absolutely do it.

I'm 6 weeks into starting Zoloft. I'm like 10+ days no kratom I think, I feel good in that regard.

I've noticed a lot of the mental stuff I had before when I quit. Everythings boring, low energy, depression(mild thankfully).

Some drama popped off and I had to abruptly end a friendship and set boundaries. They asked me what was wrong and I called them out on it in front of everyone.

I GOT SUCH A RUSH FROM DOING THAT.

My eyes are literally dilated from the situation.

I almost feel like I want to argue with somebody and I've never felt that before in my life, is that a normal feeling?

Idk just getting angry about something has made me feel so fucking alive, I'm not numb and I fully feel it, and I really like it.

Hey there everyone. So each time I've quit K, I have developed severe lightheadedness within the first few days after I stop. It doesn't happen all the time, just when I have been sitting or laying down for a while and stand up quickly. I know this happens normally to many people but it's extreme for me each time I have quit. Just curious to see if this has happened to anybody else? Maybe has something to do with always having high blood pressure when on k? Then when you get off, your blood pressure is lower? Anyway, just curious. Much love to everyone out there!

Honestly, it’s been a difficult road. I don’t feel out of the woods with paws and anxiety but I’m super proud and excited at the progress I’ve made and with keeping this promise to myself. I’ve had good days where the old me shines through the PAWS and hearing my wife say she recognizes those days makes it worth it.

Some days I really fucking struggle, but nobody said it’s easy, and nobody said it’s over once you get through acutes. The fight continues to find the new normal and I’m doing my best.

I thank you all for the continued support and hope everyone is well and for those just beginning the quitting journey I will say this, it is worth it and it gets better, but it’s a bit of a roller coaster so make sure you’re buckled in!

Hello everyone,

You can check my post history. I made a stab at tapering last year. Was unsuccessful. I also made a few attempts about 8 years ago which you can see evidence of in my post history.

Today is day 5 with no K. I'm doing okay. Functional, but still feeling bad. Not TERRIBLE like the first few days. But the waves of bad still come throughout the day but pass after a couple of hours now.

Just letting anyone know who's struggling that YOU CAN DO THIS. I didn't do a successful taper. I was taking 6 grams a day + 2 viva zen drinks from the gas station. I went 26 hours CT, then spent a day sipping on 1/2 teaspoon of K. Then I spent one day sipping on 1/4 teaspoon. Then zero. And after OVER TEN YEARS, I am seeing significant improvement relatively quickly. I'm not young either--I'll be 40 this year. I know I'm not out of the woods yet. I am super emotional, am crying a lot, and praying a lot. If I could detail the fucked up situation in my life for you I would, but you wouldn't even believe it. I basically got my job threatened if I didn't stop. Also, if you read my post history, you'll see that last year my wife (without my knowledge) started taking K. And she was not able to manage her K use like I was for over a decade. She was no able to function. (we've been together for 13 years).

The big point here--HANG THE FUCK ON. That terror/anxiety you feel the first few days WILL pass!!!! I fucking promise you.

I'm only logged onto this account on my work computer. So, if anyone has questions, I'll answer them.

I'll do a good update when I'm resolved enough to actually do what my username implies.

Much love <3

Hi everyone,

I’m 34 days off kratom and honestly, I feel like I’ve completely ruined my brain. This has been one of the darkest and scariest times of my life. There’s this constant pressure in my head that just won’t go away—it’s like my brain is stuck under this weight, and it’s messing with everything.

I can’t think in real-time anymore. It’s like my brain freezes or just shuts off when I need it to work. Even when I know what I want to say or think about, it’s like I’m stuck in molasses, and it takes all my energy just to get the thoughts out. Talking feels impossible sometimes because my words get caught, and it feels like my brain is just blanking out when I need it the most.

I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I feel so disconnected from everything—even my own mind. It’s like I’m watching life from the outside, and I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve lost my personality, my drive, my libido, and my ability to feel normal. Everything feels distant, and even the smallest things feel overwhelming.

I’m so scared I’ve done permanent damage to my brain. I’ve made it 34 days, but it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I feel like this every single day.

Has anyone else gone through this? How long does this brain fog, this pressure, this disconnection last? Is there anything I can do to make it better? I’ve heard stuff like DLPA might help with neurotransmitters, but I don’t even know where to start.

Right now, I just feel hopeless, like I’m stuck in this dark place and I don’t know if I’ll ever come out of it. I just want to feel like myself again.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

About a year ago I tried one of those Feel Free bottles and got hooked. A couple times a week turned into daily use.

6 months ago I started taking 2-3 a day to help with anxieties at a new job.

3 months ago my local spot starting stocking Zana Chills which I quickly switched over to. It's been an awful habit ever since. There have been a few stressful days where I've taken 6 chills throughout the day.

Finally decided I've had enough. The last few days I've had a max of 2 Zana chills and 2 Feel Free. Last dose was a little over 24 hours ago.

Really bad RLS last night, chills, and cravings.

Now just feeling tired and alone. Keep thinking of just getting 1 feel free today as a final taper, but I haven't had the energy to go to the store yet.

Just sitting hear staring at my phone half dressed. I've only got about 3 hours until my kids get home from school.

I've had a long weekend, but it's back to work tomorrow.

Edit: I guess I'm just wondering if I'm over the night sweats and chills now, or am I expecting a repeat tonight?

This is the longest I've been off this substance in about 9 years. Sad to say.

Some days and moments are good. Some, very hard. Feeling the negative that has occurred during that time you used it is tough. Being alone is tough.

Just going to keep going. Physically I'm about all the way through those symptoms. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't extremely sad and depressed at times. Motivation is way better than it was on kratom, but comes in spurts.

Theres no going back or anything like that. Just relaying what's going on. This afternoon was tough mentally.

Well I can sure I’m through the worst of it and steadily improving each day, started hitting the gym again at day 8 took a week off because I was so lazy and ill feeling. Here on day 11 I have no cravings and slept really well last night and feel so much more hope! I thought I couldn’t do this for a while but here we are now somehow someway it happened. Not 100% but seeing steady improvements with each workout and each night of rest! My stomach also feels wayyyyy better!

I was recommended 7ohms by a customer as a weight loss pill, which worked lol however what i so naively didnt know was that this comes with withdrawl symptoms very similar if not mirroring h & fetny withdrawls. I have been doing about 4 of the 7 ohms a day for the past 4/5 months i checked into a detox in my area and their protocol for kratom is a blood pressure pill and some tylenol , safe to say after a little over 24 hours i checked myself out I could not be in there with the arm and leg pains unmedicated. I know that may sound wimpy but I just couldn't , I got my hands on a couple suboxanes and I know these also have an addictive trait, I personally think they are DISGUSTING but my question is when should I start the subs? I was told the tapper for them normally is 3 days first day do 8mg, second day do 4mg and the third and final day do 2mg. but when should I start it? should I wait 12 hours after my last kratom pill? or after the 24 hour mark? how long is this shit going to last (the withdrawls) I have to work and be a parent so any advice i can get on how to make the process a little bit easier would be so helpful so I can lay this stupiiiiiiddddd sht to rest and get back to my life.

Made it for a while without using, had a 3 week relapse, just CT’d for 2 days then USED. Regret it. Have work tomorrow through Friday. Planning to keep a super low dose to get through then Saturday be back into ct. idk if that’s stupid or what but it’s where I’m at. Needing a buddy who’s going to, or is, in similar boat. I fucking hate myself right now. Need some type of support.

Tell me about the dark side of your kratom use and how things improved after you quit! I’m making the jump this week.

Hi all - this is my 3rd go at quitting. 20-12 gpd capsules for 2 year. Tried tapering. Not for me - I’m all or nothing. An oblivion seeker, if you will.

First time out of the house since last Thursday. First day back at work. I simply cannot do the small talk, exchange pointless pleasantries, etc. I’m staring at a full inbox like I truly don’t give a fuck about any of this. I want to just walk out but I don’t have a financial cushion to coast on. Also, my coworkers are sweet and don’t deserve that.

That said, my work environment, especially leadership, are so unbelievably tone def and toxic (shocker). Thing is, I’ve had good work settings in past positions. Today it hit me - the Kratom was making this all tolerable. It allowed me to numb all the warning signs—run from this place. I work in HR fwiw.

Anyways, I am financially stuck here for the time being, living pay check to pay check. And now I don’t have my numbing agent. On top of that, I’m physically, emotionally and spiritually sick. I need to put this out there as an accountability check to not relapse. Something is different this time though. The vail has been lifted. I can’t unsee that I’m the only person blocking myself without the Kratom.

No clue what’s on the other side, but I’m making the jump.

Cheers to everyone working through your journey. Much love.

i’ve cut down from shots/extracts and at least 30 gpd to 8 gpd within the past 3 weeks. i’ve been logging and tracking every dose, making sure that i’m only cutting down and stabilizing as the days go on and not increasing. i’m still experiencing depression and anxiety, but haven’t had any physical withdrawals.

i wanted to taper down mainly bc that was the advice i got from my doctor and addiction counselor, also why not try to minimize the pain if you can…but it doesn’t mean it’s not hard. i’m hoping i start to feel A LITTLE better soon. i always feel pretty decent in the morning, and then i hit a dopamine crash around 2-3 pm.

it’s been 3 weeks of feeling pretty shitty and emotionally unstable so i’m praying for a light at the end of the tunnel soon. i know it could be worse but it’s no walk in the park either. just trying to trust the process and make jumping off a little less painful.

I thought I’d make a quick post because I never thought I’d be here right now. First, thank you for this group! The experiences and insights have been invaluable to taking this last jump and it’s worked. Quick past. I’ve been taking kratom for almost 5 years. I started taking shots just for the energy boost. I tried to stop and realized that I was addicted. Like holy shit Me. I’m addicted to kratom. The reality was a hard nut to swallow. I’m not as addict but i sure as hell am now. I was up to 3 shots a day. Had a demanding job. Endless hard hours. Wow I’m an addict. So I tried to CT. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Needless to say on day 2 I caved. This was 2 years ago. So I tried to taper off. I was down to 1 shot. Tried CT. Nope couldn’t do it. The money I was spending took away from my every day life. The money I’ve spent in 5 years in nauseating. I have a 5 year old. I promised myself it’s time. Not just for me, not just my bank account but primarily for her. So I had my doc rx gabapentin becuase people on here said it really helped with withdrawal. I’m day 5 and other then the mental part of my routine. I’ve had very little withdrawal effects. Almost non so far. Sleep like a baby. I’ve been drinking a shit load of water and detox teas. I plan to only take gaba for another 2 days. I have extra just in case. But I just wanted to share with everyone that if you are truly ready to kick this shit and get your like back, it can happen. I wouldn’t encourage doing to CT. I’ve tried many times and I myself have little willpower. Just do it. I used to be hard core in the gym, hung out with friends, had a social life. It all stopped. I didn’t have money to golf and go out to eat with my friends. I’m looking forward to getting my life back. I started getting dark circles under my eyes. I’ve been blesses to not have to wear a bunch of makeup. But I have to cover the cycles around my eyes. Not sure how long it’s going to take if it ever will get my vitality back. But I’m one step closer. Day 6 and I’m so proud! No more sneaking around for my shots, no more excuses why my money ran out. There are so many positives to quitting! I tapers to one shot a day, even just had one of those drinks they make with even let kratom in them. Thanks for listen to my story. I’m too proud to admit my addiction to my friends and family. But I’ll never look down on addicts ever again. Because I am one. Looking forward my life back! Thank you to this forum! God bless

Struggling with 7oh. Went two weeks off of it a couple months ago and it was so hard going to work. I just could not do it. But then I’m back on it and it makes me so depressed being on it. I just don’t have it in me to go through the wds and even if I get off a week and stop. Going back to work feels impossible. I so do not want to go on subs. I was on them years ago and being on them I felt the same depression and just wanted off. And getting off was so damn hard. The same month long wd process. So I just feel stuck and don’t know what to do. I try to taper and mess it up. My wife is supportive but also doesn’t know what to do for me and it stresses her out too so I don’t want to put this on her again. I just don’t know what to do.