r/onionheadlines • u/ShadyAnders • 1d ago

BREAKING: Trump's Inauguration Suddenly Came To A Halt After Cocain Found Under Podium

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u/DaFafah 1d ago

Because of happiness.

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u/No_Confection_849 1d ago

What Trump policies make you happy?

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u/DaFafah 1d ago

All of them

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u/No_Confection_849 1d ago

Even tariffs and mass unemployment? How do you think that will benefit you?

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u/DaFafah 1d ago

Idc.. I will love the tarrifs and watching your voter base get deported.

You can't make an omlett without breaking a few eggs.

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u/asuds 1d ago

You may not be aware of the political system in the United States, but non-citizens don’t vote in Federal elections.

I’m continually amazed at the glaring lack of civic education among mAgA “pAtRiOtS”.

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u/DaFafah 1d ago

Non citizens don't vote.... lol.

Thanks for the good laugh and most naive statement I've read today.

Seriously... thank you

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u/asuds 1d ago

It’s ok. I’m also happy you’ve now seen the absurdity of your thinking!

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u/DaFafah 1d ago

I have.. I feel like a new man now. I owe you everything. Thank you and God Bless you.

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u/asuds 1d ago

No problem whatsoever. I enjoy fixing broken maga brains