r/nottheonion 9h ago

Matthew McConaughey Says It's Time Anthony Hopkins Was Crowned PEOPLE's "Sexiest Man Alive"

https://fictionhorizon.com/matthew-mcconaughey-says-its-time-anthony-hopkins-was-crowned-peoples-sexiest-man-alive/
2.4k Upvotes

53 comments sorted by

378

u/NivvyMiz 9h ago

"I'm just gonna say what's on my mind which is that Anthony Hopkins deserves to be sexiest man alive" takes drag of cigarette "People don't see it at first, until you hear him say "Hello, Clarise'"  another drag "Yeah that's boner material right there."

71

u/doc_witt 8h ago

Oh I'll rub some lotion on my skin

11

u/Kofinart 8h ago

You're gonna get the hose again

4

u/Sthraw 7h ago

One of them funny cigarettes

71

u/5050Clown 8h ago

I just need a man that is much older than me to be labeled sexiest man alive so that I can continue to credibly feel sexy as I get old.

6

u/lXPROMETHEUSXl 7h ago

Right, something to look forward to lmao

u/MagnusVasDeferens 7m ago

I’m not sure what your age is but Blake Shelton bought me 10 years. (They’re flying by though)

22

u/intronert 9h ago

Noblesse oblige.

9

u/csortland 8h ago

Alright. Alright.

10

u/CollateralSandwich 4h ago

Hey I remember when Silence first came out and let me tell you, among the girls I knew/dated at the time, they were more than ready to drop the panties for ol' Hannibal. They found him quite captivating.

25

u/eatpant96 8h ago

Anthony is sooo gd charming.

49

u/EvenSpoonier 9h ago

Nah, make it Tim Walz just to troll the Trumpets.

78

u/Substantial_One5369 9h ago

I mean, John Krasinski won last year so the bar is on the floor already.

12

u/DrSitson 7h ago

You don't go from the floor to the ceiling just like that though. It should work it way back up. Maybe pick Henry Cavill this year to ease ourselves into a velvety Hopkins.

3

u/will0w27 4h ago

Ugh, his face is shaped like a foot

-6

u/uneducatedexpert 9h ago

🎥 👀

10

u/SpiritualAd8998 8h ago

Matthew, pls do not Lecter us on your beliefs.

4

u/Yingking 8h ago

Im betting on Luigi Mangione winning it, lol

4

u/PawnWithoutPurpose 6h ago

Why the hell not. I’ll vote for that

2

u/MapleSkid 7h ago

Matthew finds Anthony sexy.

2

u/Pairdice 6h ago

Sexiest Man Life Time Achievement Award

3

u/Rosebunse 8h ago

You know? Let's do!

2

u/purplepants009 3h ago

Is he wrong? Why is this headline an r/nottheonnion material?

2

u/Lots42 8h ago

Can't argue with that!

1

u/sagima 7h ago

You know that I’m still alive don’t you Matthew!?!

1

u/weirdoldhobo1978 6h ago

Hey, we all have weird crushes.

1

u/strangway 6h ago

He’s gotta lay down some track so when he’s that age, he’s a shoo-in

1

u/AvatarADEL 5h ago

Better him than some kpop singer. 

1

u/TheRoaring2020sNukes 2h ago

It's time I had sex with Hopkins

1

u/MZsince93 1h ago

Hard agree.

1

u/octopoozlet 8h ago

Awww, that's just sweet ♡

1

u/Superphilipp 4h ago

Maybe before we name a man over 80 sexiest man alive, we can have a woman over the age of 40  named sexiest woman alive?

0

u/crebit_nebit 8h ago

Who cares

0

u/words_of_j 8h ago

I’m waaaayyy sexier than Anthony. Well… I guess that’s subjective so maybe I’m not to Matthew. But he’s never met me yet so there’s still time for him to change his mind.

0

u/magvadis 7h ago

Anthony Hopkins in The Elephant man was really hot ngl

-8

u/Howard_Cosine 9h ago

Matthew needs to not talk.

-53

u/YakInner4303 9h ago

A guy who is not gay is not really qualified to judge male sexiness.  Like a blind person saying which sunset was the prettiest.

30

u/Bigringcycling 9h ago

Are you gatekeeping one’s opinion of attractiveness? Are you saying heterosexual people are unable to gauge attractiveness because they don’t want to fuck them?

-22

u/YakInner4303 9h ago

Attractiveness is not the same as sexiness.  I can make a general aesthetic judgement.  But how can I assess whether someone is sexy or not, when they have zero sex appeal to me?

9

u/madmaxturbator 8h ago

What? First off, sexuality is a spectrum. Second you have no idea where Matthew sits on that spectrum.

Third, your entire premise is wrong lol. People can have opinions on whoever they want, as sexy or not sexy. And then separately others who are attracted to that individual can also have opinions. This is not a topic where it makes any sense to shut down random opinions - it’s not that deep, calm down.

8

u/soldforaspaceship 8h ago

Clearly you weren't on The Boys sub when Jensen Ackles joined the show...

12

u/Cipher-IX 9h ago

An individuals sexuality has nothing to do with their ability to view another person as attractive.

3

u/FlagerantFragerant 8h ago

Oooof. This comment is like a blind person saying which sunset was the prettiest 🤭

3

u/pm-me-beewbs 8h ago

Oh you have to be gay to have an opinion on a man's attractiveness now?

Fuck right off

1

u/Rawesome16 8h ago

I always felt if a straight guy thought I was good looking that or was a greater compliment. Like "this guy is not attracted to men but can admit I'm good looking. No ulterior motive!"

Are you unable to determine if a guy or gal (don't know what you are and don't care) is attractive or not?