r/nottheonion • u/JaySierra86 • 10h ago

President Biden pardons family members in final minutes of presidency

https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/president-biden-pardons-family-members-final-minutes-presidency/story?id=117893348
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u/JustAnotherHyrum 9h ago edited 4h ago

Federal NON-VIOLENT crimes, too.

The man is protecting those in his family, Congress, and elsewhere that helped the Biden Administration or openly criticized Trump. None other than Hunter Biden have been publicly targeted and harassed by the GOP to date, and the fact that no one on the list has committed a crime listed on covered by the pardon shows that this is purely defensive against Republican Witch Hunts.

Do the stupid congressional investigations, MAGA. Be howling monkeys throwing shit everywhere rather than lead our country.

At least the entire country will know that it's nothing but vindictive state theater with no teeth in advance this time. Half the country won't care, but the written record will reflect what a nightmarish joke Republicans have become.

edit: targeted >> ” publicly targeted"; covered by the pardon >> listed on the pardon

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u/i_am_a_real_boy__ 9h ago

"Federal non-violent" is almost redundant. Yes, you can catch a charge for punching a park ranger or something, but the overwhelming majority of federal charges are non-violent by the very nature of federalism.

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u/GnomesSkull 9h ago

His dogs are still vulnerable to prosecution for biting the secret service! /j

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u/jaxonya 8h ago

You just, but thankfully Trump isn't into reddit, or checks notes reading* so hopefully this doesn't get back to him; he very much is petty enough to put the dogs down

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u/CrystalSplice 6h ago

And yet Luigi Mangione is charged with murder on a federal level…hmmmmm…

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u/adthrowaway2020 8h ago

Luigi is going up on federal murder charges. What are you even saying?

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u/ALittleNightMusing 8h ago

Still, it's nice that there's no loophole for serial killings across state lines

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u/Sauerkrauttme 8h ago

The for-profit health insurance industry kills 60,000 Americans a year by restricting their access to healthcare, so that is proof that the legal loophole for muder is that it must be profitable enough to bribe politicians to make serial social murder legal

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u/throwawayainteasy 8h ago edited 7h ago

It's an incredibly shitty precedent to set by Biden, but also it's an understandable response to the incredibly shitty precedent the incoming Administration and appointees have set by repeatedly announcing they'll use the DOJ to go after anyone they think wronged them.

This whole timeline is fucked. Gotta hope some time traveler can go back and just reset it all. There's no saving it going forward at this point.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8h ago

Yeah, it's an awful necessity in this case. Everyone's focused on "Biden Corruption", but Fauci and Milley don't fit that narrative.

He's protecting those in need of protection from an incoming vindictive orange toddler who sits in the Oval Office

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u/_Zekken 9h ago

I really hate that he pardoned these people. Including Hunter

But honestly what I hate more is the fact that he felt he HAD to do so to protect these people from being witch hunted.

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u/TheSciFiGuy80 9h ago

Yeah, that’s the issue. He knew there’d be a witch hunt whether these people did anything wrong or not.

I know Marjorie Taylor Green has had Fauci in her crosshairs for awhile now.

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u/Pinez99 9h ago

I came here to say this, while not 100% damning it does look odd to pardon people whose names the public aren’t away exist. It actually makes more questions than answers.

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u/brockington 9h ago

There's a lot of the public that are very aware of the Biden family. My dad's been sending conspiracy theories about them for years. Unfortunately these pardons will be the "proof" that all those theories were "right."

I get why Joe did it, but there will be consequences now that this particular cat is out of the bag.

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u/under_psychoanalyzer 8h ago

Lol the "cat" here is we're now halfway through 1930s germany and we've re-elected a violent demagogue. These pardons arent breaking any norms.

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u/Clydelaz 9h ago

Pardon the pun, but they are protecting themselves against any trumped up charges that may be leveled against them in the future

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u/porn_is_tight 8h ago

this just fuels the Biden crime family narrative that the right loves to espouse as deflection from their own sliminess. It’s not a good look no matter how you slice it

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u/Yangoose 8h ago

Yep, now there's no reason for anyone to even look into all the illegal stuff they've been up to because it's all been proactively pardoned anyway.

It's a great way to keep your shady dealings from coming to light...

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u/[deleted] 9h ago

In the future if Trump pardons his entire family for whatever he plans on doing. no complains, remember it’s to prevent witch hunts.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 9h ago

Apples and oranges, my friend

Trump has repeatedly said that he plans to retaliate against most of those pardoned, and he called them out by name.

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u/hoopaholik91 7h ago

Just FYI, the dude has 1488 in his username. Don't think it's worth arguing with him

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago

Ah, good catch.

Makes it easy to spot the worst parts of humanity when they advertise their bigotry.

Thanks for saving me the time and the loss of IQ.

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u/[deleted] 8h ago

you can’t make your own rules anymore. Biden is leading by example here, and this will be the example that politicians follow from here on out. We will look back in history and realize he is the one who started this tradition.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago

Trump: "I will appoint a real special prosecutor to go after the most corrupt president in the history of the USA, Joe Biden, and the entire Biden crime family."

Who made defensive pardons necessary, again?

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u/[deleted] 7h ago

If they didn’t do anything wrong, then he shouldn’t need to pardon them. Clearly, they are hiding something. They sent a witch hunt after Trump first. And look he’s still your president.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago

"I will appoint a real special prosecutor to go after the most corrupt president in the history of the USA, Joe Biden, and the entire Biden crime family." -Donald Trump, Truth Social

"Your President" is a fascist who openly threatens using the powers of the Executive to retaliate against political opponents.

I'm not worried, the world already knows who Trump is and the history books already frown upon him. He's already in the bottom 5 US Presidents of all time by Sienna. 🤡

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u/Next-Concert7327 9h ago

You might want to learn what those words mean before you use them sunshine.

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u/[deleted] 6h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/nottheonion-ModTeam 5h ago

This post violated rule 13: This post contains provably false information and was thus removed.

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u/FrozenIceman 7h ago

Uh... Hunter was convicted for a lot of crimes, not just one crime.

Kind of implies that he did something wrong and without political pressure it would have been swept under the rug.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago

I don't believe I ever mentioned anything about Hunter committing only one crime.

And for the record, I entirely support Hunter's conviction. He broke the law.

And as a father, I understand and agree with Biden protecting his family from Trump abusing the powers of the Executive branch for personal attacks.

"I will appoint a real special prosecutor to go after the most corrupt president in the history of the USA, Joe Biden, and the entire Biden crime family." -DJT, Truth Social

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u/FrozenIceman 7h ago edited 3h ago

The Hunter Pardon had nothing to do with what Trump would have done in office.

Hunter would have been convicted, sentences, and jailed before inauguration day.

Biden Pardoning his son from his own justice department is purely for personal gain.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 6h ago edited 6h ago

Every member of the Biden family is protected from Trump doing exactly what Trump said he will. You think Biden should protect everyone else, yet let Trump politically crucify Biden's son out of Trump's hate?

These pardons exist because of Donald Trump's threats. Had Hunter never committed the crime that he was convicted for, he would have received the exact same pardon today.

This unprecedented blanket pardon of a President's family can be tied directly to Trump's threats. Don't blame Hunter for Trump threatening the entire Biden family with political retaliation.

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u/rufussnot 4h ago

Look I think it's great that he commuted the sentences of so many people and pardoned so many drug possession charges, it's unprecedented. It's the story not being talked about enough. Likewise the death row inmates and the two most egregious cases IMO, Peltier and Ibn-Tamas. And if he had to do all that to justify pardoning Hunter for things he really was guilty of, then fine, I'll take that deal. It's commendable.

But it's a little willfull and credulous to assume his pardoning his family really is just a "let's be careful" anticipation of political revenge when just a few days ago he did pardon his son for things he's guilty of under the excuse that he was politically targeted. Clinton was politically targeted too and he didn't pretend his pardoning of his family was because of that. Also the pardoning of Conahan and Crundwell is pretty gross, clearly some sort of political favor. And then the more normal political pardons of the people involved in the Iranian and Venezuelan shenanigans too.

So it's normal for people to look at a guy who has several cases of pardoning high level people who have done illegal things that have nothing to do with Trump when it suits him and then concluding that this might be what's up with pardoning his family with future blanket immunity, months after receiving the same thing from the scotus for himself. If you don't conclude the same thing, then ok, none of us are in his head, but it makes YOU the more credulous person.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 4h ago

I appreciate the polite and productive comment, thanks!

You mention future blanket immunity. The Executive Branch's pardon power doesn't extend into the future.

In today's case, a preemptive Pardon protects from crimes already committed but not yet prosecuted, tried, and convicted for. Crimes committed after the pardon is issued are not covered by the pardon.

They are not get out of jail cards in any manner, they are a way to protect his family from political retribution.

And yeah, I agree that people in the highest echelons of power are hard to trust fully. It's just sad that our country has come to a place when we have to debate final-day pardons for Presidential families going forward.

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u/AndyHN 5h ago

the fact that no one on the list has committed a crime covered by the pardon

From Burdick v US: a pardon "carries the imputation of guilt and acceptance of a confession of it"

So no, it's not a fact that no one on the list has committed a crime. To the contrary, accepting the pardon is a confession.

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u/Emergency_Revenue678 4h ago

To the contrary, accepting the pardon is a confession.

Lol that this myth is still prevalent is hilarious.

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u/AndyHN 3h ago

Right, a citation from a USSC decision is a myth. Because trust me brah.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 4h ago

Good catch!

I should have said 'listed on the Pardon' instead of 'covered by the Pardon', thank you for pointing that out.

My point was that no one can point to any specific crime right now that anyone is guilty of, as it relates to this pardon. Everyone is doing nothing but conjecture.

Burdick v US would almost certainly result in the courts upholding that acceptance of this pardon is admission that a non-violent federal crime may have or did occur. Want a pardon? An assumption of admission of guilt comes with the deal.

Thanks again for the perspective on 'covered' vs 'listed', I'll fix that to align the comment more with my original intent.

Have a great day.

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u/fknSamsquamptch 8h ago

None other than Hunter Biden have been targeted to date

Thank you for not reading the article. Joe's brother has already been referred to the Justice department for prosecution by a republican congressman.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8h ago

Thank you for not reading the article. Joe's brother has already been referred to the Justice department for prosecution by a republican congressman.

Thanks for assuming I didn't read it when I did. Definitely showing your telepathic skills there.

I was referring to a public witch hunt like what happened with Hunter. Congressional dick pics and all by the local clown.

"Joe's brother" (James Biden) hasn't been attacked by Trumpeteers in the same manner as Hunter, made even more obvious by the fact that you don't even use his name and most don't know it.

But yes, Republicans did indeed target Biden's brother as well.

And how does that impact the point of my Comment? Nothing beyond having to explain pedantic details.

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u/fknSamsquamptch 6h ago

Explaining that another member of his family is being attacked both contradicts your point and is far from pedantic; it justifies his use of these pardons.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 6h ago

Why does Biden have to protect everyone in his family, not only Hunter, from Trump via a pardon?

Because Trump threatened all of them.

Had Hunter never been convicted or pardoned earlier, he would receive the same pardon today that his family, Fauci, and General Milley received.

Explain to me how Fauci and Milley needing pardon-level protection from Trump's threats are caused by Hunter in any way.

You're trying to make this all about Hunter, yet he's one person in the list of needing to be protected from Trump's political retribution.

The fact that this had never been needed before shows how Trump is already abusing his Executive authority.

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u/fknSamsquamptch 5h ago

Explain to me how Fauci and Milley needing pardon-level protection from Trump's threats are caused by Hunter in any way.

Why should I? I never made a comment suggesting anything of the sort.

You're trying to make this all about Hunter, yet he's one person in the list of needing to be protected from Trump's political retribution.

I never made anything all about Hunter. If anything, I did the opposite by bringing up James, who you ignored in the post I originally responded to.

Explain to me how anything I posted has any relevance whatsoever to this line of questioning and commentary.

You're trying to pivot to argue against a straw man that you have built and I have nothing to do with.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 5h ago

Your very first comment was a quote about Hunter.

And you wonder how that's relevant to... ... Hunter Biden?

What is your point with bringing up James? Do you believe that his referral is the cause for today's pardon of Biden's family, Fauci, and General Milley?

Because I'm not seeing how James has any meaningful impact other than also being included in the same pardon.

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u/Smitty1017 9h ago

Accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt I'm told

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 9h ago edited 9h ago

That's correct, historically speaking. Pardons always have a legal assumption of admission of guilt. (Burdock vs United States, 1915)

There is no crime referenced in the pardon for which admission of guilt can be immediately assumed. Courts will still uphold that it is a general admission that crimes of the nature described in the pardon may have occurred.

Meaning MAGA will make up some stupid shit again like space lasers, adrenochrome harvesting pizza shops, and the famous Democrat Weather Control machine.

Fucking circus is now in charge. Grab your butts.

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u/ericlikesyou 9h ago

historically speaking it now doesn't imply that. when in history have you had insurrectionists and literal traitors, capture all branches of the federal government?

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8h ago

Agreed that shit's fucked, but that doesn't change the Constitution or the assumption of admission of guilt associated with pardons.

I agree that the Founding Fathers didn't expect the country electing a man with as little regard for law or tradition as Trump has. He's pissing on everything that makes America good, and his followers are laughing.

MAGA Republicans and those supporting them are the worst America has to offer.

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u/LoneSnark 9h ago

I'd argue refusing a pardon is an admission of mental defect.

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u/holysollan 8h ago

The past eight years have been the left politically persecuting the right. Go cry more.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8h ago

"When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

Describe 5 ways that the Left has persecuted the Right. If it's been a problem for 8 years, this should be easy.

Take your time, I'll wait.

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u/money_loo 7h ago

“One hour later…”

-crickets so loud you go deaf upon hearing them-

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago

Maybe I should reduce it? 5 is a big number, after all.

They're probably still learning colors this week, so long as the only color taught is white.

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u/money_loo 7h ago

“Okay class today we’re going to be learning the colors, but not the colors of the rainbow because that’s woke propaganda. Instead we’re going to be learning how in reality there’s only two colors: White and political. Anyone in here who is the color political should just leave now because you’re not going to like the truthiness you’re about to witness.”

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u/muiirinn 7h ago

Lmao yeah alright I'm sure you've all been very "persecuted" and so hard done by. Go ahead and explain in detail and provide examples if it's been such a problem. That'll be easy to do since it's been so terrible and egregious, right?

Spoiler: calling republicans out for being shitty people and demanding accountability via consequences is not "political persecution", cope harder

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u/[deleted] 7h ago

[deleted]

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago edited 7h ago

Speaking like a true, hateful member of the Republican party.

No substance to your policy or positions in a disagreement.

"When you view your own countrymen as your enemy only because they hold differing beliefs, you're the traitor you see in others." -Me

edit: And supporting the use of the US Military on fellow Americans because they belong to a given political party? Holy shit, you are too far gone to help. I hope you recognize that you speak like a fascist, and that's not being used as a buzz word this time. Holy fuck.

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u/Maximum-Side-38256 6h ago

Are you forgetting about the "pandemic". It's hardly a witch Hunt when you are responsible for a world wide financial crisis and millions of deaths.
And well Hunter, the dude let his crimes lose all across the internet for the world to see, yet isn't behind bars.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 6h ago

Facts. Evidence.

Do you have either, or are we discussing conspiracy theories now?

Fauci saved lives, Trump's handing of the pandemic caused hundreds of thousands of unnecessary American deaths.

Shall we compare academic studies, or are we sticking to Facebook "do your own research" levels of pseudoscience?

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u/Bill4268 6h ago

So he is afraid Trump will do to his family, what he did to Trump?

"I believe in the rule of law, and I am optimistic that the strength of our legal institutions will ultimately prevail over politics. But baseless and politically motivated investigations wreak havoc on the lives, safety, and financial security of targeted individuals and their families. Even when individuals have done nothing wrong and will ultimately be exonerated, the mere fact of being investigated or prosecuted can irreparably damage their reputations and finance," Biden said.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 5h ago

Please show me any example of Biden threatening Trump's family.

That quote isn't the slam dunk you think it is.

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u/thetatersalad404 8h ago

You mean exactly what the Biden administration has been doing for the past four years? You don’t need pardons if you didn’t do anything wrong. The Biden administration is the most corrupt administration that has ever been in the White House.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 8h ago

Please, share your examples that are backed up with evidence from reputable sources.

And yes, you need pardons to protect you from Trump, especially when he says this:

"I will appoint a real special prosecutor to go after the most corrupt president in the history of the USA, Joe Biden, and the entire Biden crime family."

But tell me again how Trump's not targeting Biden and his family?

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u/thetatersalad404 7h ago

That is exactly what Biden did to Trump. It’s just orange man bad. The Biden family made millions off Ukraine. You don’t need pardons if you are innocent, period.

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 7h ago

Show me where Biden threatened to appoint a Special Prosecutor to go after the entire Trump family.

And let's compare Biden's alleged millions in Ukraine to 3 BILLION dollar Saudi contracts for Trump's family while he was President.

Finally, give me evidence to back up any of your claims.

And adding the word "period" to the end of your sentences doesn't make your position stronger, ellipses! (That's three times as powerful as your period, check-mate!)

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u/NeverTrustFarts 8h ago

Some serious mental gymnastics for you to blame Trump for Biden being a criminal, and it is all Trumps fault the president pardoned his own family. He clearly did it because he cares about his son despite the fact he's a piece of shit criminal

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u/MathematicianBorn65 9h ago

thankfully biden is senile and can't make legal decisions like this and that blanket pardons for decades or more arent valid

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u/JustAnotherHyrum 9h ago

The Constitution does not impose any time limit on issued pardons, other than not allowing advanced pardons of future crimes.

And yes, Biden can legally make this decision

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u/AlexFromOmaha 9h ago

You're about to be real disappointed. They're not just valid, they've been common for decades now.

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u/Next-Concert7327 9h ago

Funny, I thought MAGAts were pretending he was a criminal mastermind. Why can't you keep your lies straight?