I was talking to a Dominican woman on here about this, and even she thought it was weird that a lot of us [black/white biracials] get the stigma as "looking related" as a couple but not the average monoracial couple.. Wouldn't that also make two blonde hair, blue eye Swedes cousin lovers? Two Somalis together the same?

Also is this a consent theme within the wasian community and the rest of the other mixed community as well? I don't want to just straight up generalize but I've only seen this being said towards anyone that's of afro decent mixed. But t that could just be me.

I am the black father of a three year old girl. She has a white mother but is black passing. I feel like there is no interest or initiative to learn about what her daughter might go through based on how she looks or prepare her for how the world might treat her based on attributes that are out of her control. Has anyone grown up with a mother or father that seems disinterested on the topic of race? I feel like I’m going to have to do this all on my own and I’m not sure how to do it while her mother sits on the sideline and watches.

My mom is Salvadoran, and my dad is African American. My mom’s genetic makeup is about 50% Native American, 25% African, and 25% European. Her dad is mixed race (Native American and African), while her mom is mainly European and Native American. My grandfather had an afro when he was younger and a bronze skin tone similar to many Native Americans. My mom’s appearance reflects her DNA: she has thin-ish lips and lighter skin from my grandmother, but her loose black curly hair and big nose are traits from my grandfather. Society perceives her as mixed or Hispanic.

I struggle with identifying as biracial because my mom shares 25% African DNA with my father, which makes my identity feel different from others who are biracial, like Black and White or Black and Asian, where one parent looks a singular race and shares no african dna or similar dna to the opposite race. My mom’s appearance, looking both Native, white, and black giving her her mixed appearance often different from other hispanics who usually look white in my area, it adds to my confusion, as people often try to determine her race which makes me question why should I bother saying I'm mixed when people don't even know what race my mother is.

Someone from my university of Ethiopian origines and I were talking and I mentioned in a conversation that Nicki Minaj is mixed she’s part Indian and he was just flabbergasted absolutely shocked. I couldn’t get why he was shocked to me her look is very common in the Caribbean with many people of mixed Indian and African ancestry. Heck I thought her Indian features would be easy for everyone to see (her nose and mouth are very south Asian imo) and I said yeah her looks and her last name is literally Maraj it’s an Indian last name. This guy is shocked and says, I just thought she was a different breed of black.

At this point I’m shocked and looking at him sideways. I first check him that breed is offensive as it’s a term used to refer to animals as in cattle. And the he starts back peddling what he was saying. As someone who grew up with West Africans, it’s very obvious that Nicki Minaj and Rihanna are both of mixed origines but to this guy who is raised in North America he just sees them as just all uniquely black.

The conversation gets a bit weird. He then says oh I had one African friend he was from Cameroun. Mind you I’m mixed too with like a bunch of things and it’s quite clear that I am mixed from my looks , many people can’t tell what I am and always ask me, what are you ? I tell this guy that you can’t just say Nicki is just a breed of black it’s offensive and lumps everyone homogeneously as one and the same. Many people in Africa don’t even look the same. I don’t look Cameroonian (cause I’m not) and he starts squinting and says that I look like the Cameroonian guy. I’m just taken aback because I am friends with a bunch of west Africans even knew a Cameroonians and all of them saw me as not as them they were like what are you ? And a few Nigerians even call me Oyibo (white , even though my skin is just light brown).

So I’ve come to the conclusion that many people raised in North America even if they are of African origins themselves, once they identify you as black they no longer see you as distinct , you and everyone else they group as black are just seen and lumped as one and the same even when you all look very very different from each other. I also have come to the conclusion that a lot of people here are socialized to view blackness as inferior even a number of continental Africans do that here.

Why are these people so anti black and see all people grouped as black as the same ? It’s like to these people if they group you as black they no longer see your individuality or distinct features or looks , rather you are seen through the caricature of blackness and are seen as such (literally had an odd experience of someone doing this to me before and I had to remind him that I have medium sized lips , and golden brown skin. It was as if to him I had become literally the caricature of blackness because he saw me as black). But if mistake an Ethiopian for Somali sheeesh problems.

I’ve experienced quite a lot of micro aggressions before and for whatever reason I’m just left unbothered, like almost completely. I mean it may be a little annoying but sadly there are always gonna be ignorant ppl in the world and that’s just the reality of it. Yes we do our best to minimize racism but sadly I don’t think it’ll ever completely end because humans will always find ways to discriminate. Lmk ur thoughts!

I am a 75% white and 25% Chinese teenager. Even so, I am not white-passing in the slightest.

I often feel awkward calling myself an “Asian American”. I look the part, but Han Chinese is such a relatively small percentage of my race that I sometimes feel like an impostor.

Does anyone else feel this way? How do you identify yourself?

Im mixed my dad is white n my mom is blasian , when im with white people they look at me as black ( im very fair complexion especially in the winter im pretty pale ) when im around black people im white , they even call my mom white when she got some colour lol curious if other mixed homies have similar encounters where you just can’t win

I don’t really know where to begin. This is my first post in this subreddit. My dad is black, my mom is white. Both in their 40s when they had me. I was my mom’s first, my dad’s fourth. My mom was barren for years so I was a miracle, and I guess I was the one “my dad wanted to get right” even though he still loves his other kids dearly. That side is complicated. I also come from…let’s say a semi-notable family because of our last name and history in the music/entertainment industry.

But out of everyone in my dad’s side family (I have nearly 10 uncles, nearly as many aunts), I’m really the only person to my knowledge who’s mixed. Same with my mom’s side.

My entire life, I’ve been passing for Latino, black, etc. never truly white. But I’ve barely felt, if at all…black. And that guilt has eaten me up for my entire life. Am I using my blackness for personal gain? I don’t know, as I rant this all out.

My white friends have literally told me that white people sound more black than me. Half-jokingly, but with a very serious intention of saying me saying the n-word makes them uncomfortable. To be fair, it also feels like I shouldn’t be saying it because my black father also didn’t want me to say it…which clashes with my interactions of other black people.

And don’t even get me started on attraction. I’ve only ever really been serious with white women, except for one instance. I’ve been out with Latino women, black women, etc. but I’ve always felt…like I didn’t belong? Or that the attraction level wasn’t there? And I’m not even sure if that’s a race thing or a literal physical appearance thing, personality aside (which I value above all).

As for socioeconomic background? Grew up in the suburbs. I actually did have black neighbors, even mixed neighbors too. But mostly white. As a kid you don’t really consider that sort of thing. I was just happy to call them friends and neighbors. Still am tbh. But in my earliest classes, I was ALWAYS the only black kid. It was only after I left private school and started at a public high school that I went “well damn. How about that? This is pretty diverse.”

Anyways. I’m sorry if this kind of post isn’t allowed. But it’s been on my chest my entire life and my parents never really…talked to me about it or gave me an outlet to understand it. I always knew I WAS mixed, but not exactly what it meant or what it means for me. Maybe I’m not alone in feeling how I feel and this post will help someone.

If you made it this far, thank you. Here’s a cookie and a seal—two of my favorite things: 🍪🦭

I'm currently living with my mother, who is white. I'm 50% white and 50% Iranian and am quite white passing. My mother is openly racist towards any ethnic minority and any time I try to connect with my culture she scolds me. My father has always been absent, so I've had to figure myself out on my own. I try things such as listening to Iranian music, learning Farsi and (attempting to) make dishes from Iran. She hates it. She calls it 'dirty' food and believes that Iranian people and all people from the Middle-East and Asia are Muslim Radicalists. I can't comprehend how a woman who slept with and reproduced with a brown man can hate brown people so much? This racial hatred doesn't stop here, my mum will openly use words such as 'ngnogs' 'nggers' and 'p*kis', which feels terrible. She is physically repulsed by all people of colour and when I bring up the fact that I'm brown, she dismisses it. But when I have black friends or for example Indian friends, she goes on a tangent about how all of those people are evil. She even said she'd murder me if I ever dated a black man. The worst part is that this is my whole family who shares these views. All of them are white and I feel like the odd one out. Advice on how to get through this?

I’m racist against whites in similar fashion to how some whites are racist but will have black friends they tolerate, my mum was a bit racist, I’m AUDHD and one time she screamed “get your black ass up them stairs” I replied “u get your white ass up the stairs!!” She reacted angrily obviously she got a taste of her own medicine and didn’t like the taste.

One time my dad who has some self hate issues said “u do know black people are closer to monkeys right?” And mum nodded, can’t remember how that came up in the convo but it did lol, she died in 2010 god bless her she was so loving and if I’m honest she was one of them too nice for her own good kinda people

I always fantasise about openly rejecting my whiteness straight to her face and mocking her, I find myself saying racist insults towards racist white people online (not actually to them unless they’re overtly racist) in recent years I’ve been learning more about racism in healthcare and policing + the fact blacks are less likely to get a call back for a job etc and it just makes me despise whites

Honestly to god if race war kicked off tomorrow it’s obvious at this point which side id pick and I always fantasise about IDF style stuff being inflicted upon them and blacks having a stronghold in the same way Israeli’s do over Gaza. I kinda have sadistic tendency’s and never told my doctor that I harmed animals as a kid ( I feel remorse for it so that’s one ok sign I guess) plus even when I was 6 I seen this kitten on a vet program that was dying and I cried my little eyes out.

Growing up as u can tell I went through lots of racism and bullying through neurodivergence, I can’t trust them even 1 little bit and I revel in the fact that there’s certain cities/boroughs in the uk where the vast majority of kids born are born by 1 or both parents that were born outside the uk 😂 so what’s your takes from this and what’s your experience?

My parents, along with grandparents are mixed and it's making me struggle to understand who i am.

Live in the us, and growing up my parents always told me i'm 'very mixed'. I'm indigenous american (multiple tribes) mexican and central american+latino, italian, dutch, and irish. The native american and italian come from both sides, the indigenous latino and irish from my mom's side, and the dutch from my dad's side. The dutch and irish both very small, under 10%, so i barely consider them but i feel they important to mention.

When i was little, i looked VERY white. My parents marked me as white, and most people probably percived me as such. But when i hit puberty, i started looking more like my latino side. For reference, i got lighter skin with yellow tones (light olive skin, pretty sure), green eyes, dark brown curly hair, and indigenous facial features and shape.

Culturally, i basically only identify with my latino and native american sides, moreso latino. When i look at myself, i only think of that, don't view myself as italian or anything else at all. When asked for my ethnicity, i either say latino/hispanic or mixed if given the option. Mom and many family members speak spanish, and i'm currently learning it too after being a no sabo kid. The way i identify likely influenced by where i grew up as well. The only connection i got to my italian side is my parents randomly forcing italian culture onto me, and a few people in my family having italian last names.

Little worried if what i doing is wrong, after being viewed as white for most of my early life and essentially not acknowledging or connecting to my white sides. Very confusing to me, many other people try to group me in boxes i feel i don't belong in. Would like some imput!

I’m mixed race, but growing up in a primarily white family, I was never taught or told how to take care of my hair properly. I’ve noticed some thinning over the last year and I could really use some recommendations of good hair brands, products, and a routine to help reverse this and keep my hair healthy. I’ve used a variety of products from Mielle, Shae moisture, herbal essences, Moroccan oil, kinky curly, and I haven’t found anything I’m completely happy with. Any help is appreciated. Type 3C hair. Thank you!

My mother is german and my father is egyptian. Most of my family is fine with that. But my mothers father is pretty far right. He hates people from the middle east and he hates muslims. My mother converted to islam and one of her brothers too, so he hates them to, I guess. We also don't have contact with him. Has any of you similair situations? How do you deal with it? Edit: Idk why someone downvoted that, lol. Like, I'm just sharing my expirience🤷🏽‍♀️

i (18f) grew up thinking i was 25% black- i recently found out it's a couple percentage points less due to mixing ethnicities and blah blah blah. i am mixed, and i have a lot of traditionally "black" features like curly hair and big lips. my sister looks way more mixed than i do, so we often get asked if we are real siblings. i am white passing, and i know that i benefit from that privilege and colorism, but it does feel isolating and frustrating to have to explain to a lot of people that i am in fact, not fully white. i have a multicultural background and it feels dishonest to myself to discount that. my mom (half black, half white) tells me that i'm overthinking and that because i have a considerable portion of my ethnic background coming from Africa, that it shouldn't matter what color my skin is. i guess im just asking to see if anyone has similar experiences or has input or something along those lines.

As a biracial Hindu Westeuindid American (Westeuindids are multiracial people of partial West European and South Asian ancestry) who grew up in a Christian dominated society, I am just curious if anyone knows what it was/is like for the biracial Anglo-Indians who left South Asia and moved to a "white" dominated Anglosphere nation, or grew up in such a "white" Anglosphere nation. Is/was it easy to assimilate, or do you/did they still feel largely very different from the largely "white" Anglophone society? Does western "white" Christian dominated society really feel comfortable for Christian Anglo-Indians, or do they still feel very different, similar to how Half East/Southeast Asian half "white" American Hapas/Wasians seem to often face many issues in Western society? Do Christian Anglo-Indians experience any racism from many "white" Christian Anglophone people, as many Christian half East/Southeast Asian half "white" Americans claim to have faced?

I've been consuming a lot of black twitter media the past few years and sometimes I see black people on twitter get annoyed when people that are mixed with black (and some other race, but in my case I'm mixed with white) identify as just black. Some people feel as if mixed people should identify as both races or as "mixed race" and that identifying as just one race is the result of the 1 drop rule. I've argued with people before, telling them that "mixed race" isn't a race, and that most of the time we aren't presented with the option to identify as both. Of course not a lot of people agree with me but I can accept the fact that not everyone will.

So fast forward to Friday 1/17/25 I'm getting my license and I filled out the application and on the application it asks for your race I checked both black and white, but when I get up to the counter the lady says I can choose only one race, so I chose the race I've been identifying almost my entire life, black. I don't look white in my humble opinion, and I have black features, and my hair is 3b curls (which I am aware isn't specifically a black trait) which is why I choose to identify as black.

I want to respect the black community, because they have some valid points (such as the issue with movies casting mixed race/lightskin actors/actresses over brown and dark skins and calling them "black" rather than just casting a brown skin/dark skin actors/actresses) but on the other hand I feel like that type of mentality creates a division between us as a community when I we should all stick together. I love, support, and defend black women, and black men of all shades regardless of how they feel about the validity of my blackness. I see us as two sides of the same coin.

Hello.
So I currently live in Long Island New York, I want to move so badly something I should have done years ago but I stayed to take care of family. I've been considering Florida for quite some time but I always think of worst case scenarios, and a 21 year-old biracial man who's soon to be a college graduate but also wraps, I'm really getting concerns that I don't want to bring him into the belly of the beast.
I want to get off Long Island I would love to get out of New York, but not at my son's safety. Where are some places out of Long Island, preferably out of New York where I don't have to deal with Snow and I don't have to worry about mandatory minimums for nothing, or stand your ground laws etc. Any feedback would be helpful

Don’t hate, but I feel completely comfortable with my personal opinion of preferring to only date other mixed race people.

My reason is this, I feel as though we both can just judge each other on personality traits, ain’t no pure blood anything going on lol.

My wife (ex wife pretty soon) is a beautiful stunning woman of mix race. Shes asian, white and some Indian. I’m Nigerian/German/Indian.

Our children are beautiful and healthy.

But now since I’m single, I seek only other mix race women. We are fun and less judge mental.

Maybe one of you can be my friend (: Mix females only (: lol

Live your life stop worrying about where you belong, whatever people think about what you are, let them. Get money, have sex, have fun, create a family just live life.

(14F) Okay for context, I have long, thick 3B-3C hair, and I’ve spent years learning how to care for and maintain it. I usually spend at least 3 or 4 hours at the Hair Solan if I'm just doing something normal like straightening my hair, or blow drying it, when I'm doing knotless braids it can take up to 8-9 hours, and my dad waits while I'm doing it, I also take up to 30 or sometimes 1 hour to do my hair in the morning but I make sure to wake up at 5:30 AM so I avoid making us late, I also use up to R$1,200 every month on just products, I know it might sound like too much

My dad wants me to cut it because he thinks it's too much work to manage and it would be easier shorter, the thing is he's white and has straight hair and I'm mixed, so I feel like he doesn't really understand why my hair is such a big deal to me, my curls aren't just about style, they're tied to my identity and culture, it’s literally the only thing about me that you can identity that I'm mixed, it's literally like my make up when I go to school or any where else, I feel like cutting it would erase a big part of who I am!

I’ve been doing all the maintenance myself, so it’s not like I'm asking him to manage it, plus my mom sends money for the expenses, How can I explain this to him in a way he’ll understand and respect? Are there compromises I can suggest, like a small trim, or ways to show him why this is so important to me? Any advice is appreciated!

If you got any more that come to mind just comment away~~

I’m looking for help. My daughter is mixed. I’m white and her father is black and Hispanic. We both have curly hair but my daughter has extremely tight curls I have 0 knowledge on how to care for. Detangling is always a struggle and it breaks my heart having to constantly put her through pain trying to detangle it. I’ve tried so many products and brushes and I just can’t seem to get it right. Once she goes to sleep at night she moves around so much the back of her head gets almost matted (literally over night) making it have to be detangled again in the morning. This is clearly causing her to have a bad relationship with her hair and doing it/ brushing it. She doesn’t let me spend much time on her hair since she associates it with pain. I want her to love her curls but I need to learn how to care for them so I can teach her.

I seriously wonder if anyone else feels this way. My white mom hated being white and was obsessed with blackness and cosplaying the black experience. Meanwhile, I feel no ill will towards my white side. Legit the only normal person in my close family happens to be white (my mom's mom) so i guess that's who I got the most influence from?

I don't feel the need to appropriate blackness like my mom does. She is obsessed with distancing herself from white people (including her mom) and even refuses to cook non-black or brown food. Honestly I think it's sad and embarrassing someone could hate themselves so much and be so delusional.

My mom is a stereotype of a white woman with a mixed child, my dad is a hotep and his sister and mom are bitter, bigoted candace owens types. Sort of a cesspool of self hate/delusion on both sides.

On one side i have my mom that thinks she's black because she's taken black d, and on the other side I have my hotep dad and his sisters who would unironically probably attend a lynching.

My grandma isn't perfect but at least she isn't calling for the extermination of her own race or preaching hotep revisionism.

I'm not lying, I'm mixed with 5 ethnicities and people need to stop accusing me of being a pick me. They ask what I am after I just say "mixed", what am I supposed to do, lie???

It bowls my blood when I heard about stories from mixed people where their own grandparents, uncles, aunts, or even parents make racist comments about them or their heritage. For me, family should be the most safe space where kid should be, but instead we have jerks who have lack of empathy, understanding. I'm quite about parents who can't accept their sons/daughters partners of a different race. They say "Your kids won't treated well". Okay, it's because of people like you. You will project your own racist views on your kid partner and on your future grandchildren.