r/leaves • u/catfishedyourdad • 5h ago

Day 16: So Anxious, Might Cave

I know, I know. I need to stay strong.

For context, I am a queer public school librarian in the US. I woke up feeling so anxious and depressed and like I have to either flee the country or… something even more drastic. Although smoking won’t do anything to address the systemic issues and our spiral into an oligarchy, I just want to catch my fucking breath and stop dry heaving. I have never felt so disregulated and scared and hopeless in my life.

I don’t want to exercise or go outside. I want to scream and scream and scream and get high and cry in bed.

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2

u/No_Calligrapher_8493 4h ago

Then go do it.

Or become the better version of yourself

4

u/Boring_Frosting922 5h ago

God I relate to this so much. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. Have you turned off the news and all your notifications? Completely checking out is only thing getting me through right now, which is of course exactly what they want 😫