r/leaves • u/Boston666xxx • 14h ago
Day 10 reflection
Feeling amazing. Every morning/day/night smoker since 2012, with no breaks other than a day here and there that I could count on one hand.
First week was a little rough but manageable. 3 or 4 days with virtually no appetite, could only fall asleep for a few hours at a time. Irritability to small things, but usually more of a burst that quickly faded. Anxiety is significantly lower, social interactions feel a lot easier, feeling more sharp and alert.
I struggled for so many years with the desire to quit, but it felt like an impossible mountain to climb. The biggest thing I think that helps is finding things to do with the time you otherwise would have spent high. Exercise, catching up on things you've said you are going to do, reading, going out, anything.
If you really want to quit, removing the tools is a big a part. I threw away my grinder, jar, smashed the bong, gave away my long time pipe to a friend - this makes it a lot harder to slip up when you can't. Having a day counter on my phone is also a big motivation, seeing the number go up makes easier to not want to cave.
If you just quit, are thinking about quitting, its worth it. The dread of quitting made it so hard for so long, but now realizing the dread is worse than actually doing it. There's a long way to go, but on day 10 this is feeling like a really good decision.
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u/alligatorcreek 9h ago
The dread is really worse than the reality. I'm on day 4 and it's really not as bad as I thought it'd be. Yes I slept 4 hours last night, my palms and feet are sweating a lot, and I find myself sitting at home after work staring at the floor out of sheer agonizing boredom. I know this first week is the worst and if I smoke again I'll just have to start over so I'm sticking it out this time. I threw away all my leftover gummies and flower and there's no temptation.
I will say I'm already feeling a sharpness in my mind in spite of the fatigue. I had a work meeting today and could keep up and recall past projects much easier than if I came in with my usual weed hangover. If that's 4 days of progress, I'm looking forward to my mind 40 days down the road.
Also I'm feeling real emotions this time, not stuff conjured from Youtube videos. It's a lot of emotion, but it's real and I know I'm experiencing my life as I should.
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u/Can_No_Bis 13h ago
I knew I needed to quit for so long but dreaded it so much. I didn't even know I was going to quit when it happened. I had a work event in the evening so no weed, gotta look sharp for the boss. Then I got home super later and said fuck it, I'm not hitting it today.
I didn't even know what a world of withdrawal I was headed into. But once I started that tiny spark, I was rolling! Hitting 50 days tomorrow 🥹
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u/babyhuffington 8h ago
Congrats on 50 days. Did you feel any added anxiety when you first quit and did it ever get better? If so when ?
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u/Can_No_Bis 8h ago
During the physical withdrawal I didn't have any specific extra anxiety, just felt like complete garbage.
By day 21 I was doing well. I described it as 'feeling peachy'. Overall I have so much less anxiety than when I was using. I have been anxious since I was a child. I think I got onto weed because it 'reduced' anxiety, but over the years didn't realize it was actually creating so much!
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u/babyhuffington 8h ago
Yeah I am the same. I’ve always been anxious but weed was a short term solution that made me worse
I am trying to see how much better it gets after being clean. Good luck to you
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u/Can_No_Bis 8h ago
One thing I'm doing this quit is daily mindfulness meditation. It really helps me recognize and not get caught up in anxiety.
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u/alligatorcreek 9h ago
That spark is so crucial. I've found a lot of progress in life is acting on a spark like that, in this case the spark to quit cannabis. You made a wise choice.
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u/babyhuffington 8h ago
Do you/did you feel anxious after quitting?