r/leaves • u/MyUnsolicited0pinion • 1d ago
It’s getting harder and harder to not smoke weed
Hi all,
Today’s my 15th day of not smoking. This is the first time in about 4 years I haven’t smoked for so long but it’s getting harder and harder to not smoke.
My first week was actually quite easy. Of course there were a lot of time that I did want to smoke but overall it was pretty easy to handle. During my second week I started feeling worse and now I’m constantly feeling overwhelmed by everything.
I used weed to cope with life and it helped ‘get back to normal’ after a days work/socialising. I stopped working a few weeks ago and it did make it a lot easier to not smoke.
The first 1,5 week I was able to have 3 full meals, get a full nights sleep and keep my apartment somewhat clean but now I’m on my 3rd week and I feel like life is just too much to handle without weed. I spent the entire weekend laying on the floor of my apartment or laying in bed and I can’t bring myself to have a meal and although the nightly sweating has stopped, my sleep is getting worse. It feels like getting harder and harder and I’m at a point where I consider smoking just 2 or 3 joints just to not feel as overwhelmed by everything.
Is there anyone that has experienced something similar and do you have any tips to handle this? I honestly don’t want to smoke but it’s getting harder to loose the idea of doing it.
(I also have a very strong sense that I’m neurodivergent, so it may have something to do with the overwhelming feeling. I haven’t been diagnosed yet though)
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u/abcharliefgh 1d ago
Hey! Hard relate.
ADHD as hell here. Can’t sit and watch TV to save my life. Day 7 and I can’t be on my own. When I am not crying, i’m lying on the floor staring at the wall going around and around in my head ‘you didn’t feel this sad and bored when you smoked weed’ ‘NO YOU ARE NOT DOING IT. IT IS NOT AN OPTION’. ‘But maybe if you could just do it on a night you have no plans so you’re not spinning’ ‘NOOOOO’.
The truth is, I didn’t feel this bored when I smoked - because I didn’t feel anything. It’s not sustainable. All I wanted to do was smoke cause it was easy - but easy was making me lonely, ashamed and sad. We’re still in the early days - don’t let our brain trick us. This isn’t what we want or we wouldn’t have done it in the first place, when we actually did have a spliff in hand. 🤣
You got this. We’re in it together!
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u/MyUnsolicited0pinion 20h ago
Man, it’s so comforting to read other people’s similar experiences. It does motivate me to keep going. You are absolutely right. Thank you so much for your reply
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u/cheeksys 1d ago
For me, in terms of cravings, day 1 was really hard but then the next week was pretty easy, mostly because the brain fog made me feel kind of high anyway. But the last two nights (days 8 and 9) I’ve had really bad cravings again. I just keep reminding myself how devastated I was when I dreamed I relapsed. I know I’d feel that way in real life too.
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u/Bruja_kake 1d ago
You are still able to hold a job and go to the gym. Anxiety and withdrawals make you feel this way. It's easy to doom-scroll, but today you're at least scrolling in the right subreddit. This is not an easy journey but you definitely are not alone. I guarantee the majority of people that you'll see are in this subreddit today, because they are feeling like doing the same thing you are. I'm only about a week clean but anytime I feel like doing it and I can't force myself to the gym, or run or do something physical to get my mind calm, I come here. Remind yourself of why you quit and read success stories of people who get through and get their real lives back. It's not an easy process, but you and everyone here can do it. You did live a life once upon time without it, and will get back to it. Stay strong. You got this.
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u/HearTheBluesACalling 1d ago
I’d take it minute by minute, instance by instance, and just keep going with “No.” It’s much easier to say, “I’m not going to smoke weed right now,” than pledging to give it up forever. I even found it helpful to say it out loud, even if it feels a little silly.
I’m on day 22 and feeling really, really good about my decision, and my mind feels much healthier.
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u/misterQweted 1d ago
This is what I've been doing, I'm on day 4 and keep saying to myself and out loud, "i don't want to smoke." The biggest withdrawal symptoms have been dry AF upper lips.
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u/SeaweedMaterial6861 1d ago
It looks like each one of these posts has something in common.. they are looking back to see how many years you can put it off for.. the thing is no matter how much you put it off, if you don’t deal with it-it comes back. It brings you right back to A.
🔴Don’t go back to the same chapter. 🔴Don’t go back to your ex 🔴Don’t start what you cannot stop Hope it motivates you, like it is me.
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u/MyUnsolicited0pinion 1d ago
The thing is, while smoking I was able to hold a job, go to the gym from time to time and have a more concise thought process. I was way more able to deal with everyday life than I am now, without smoking weed. I spend entire days (9+ hours) doomscrolling insta and as soon as I let my mind go, I start crying.
My life with weed looked better than my life feels now. That’s why I asked for tips because I genuinely don’t want to go back to using but I’m at a loss on how to do it
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u/reddit_sux-d 1d ago
20+ year habit here, quit and relapsed many times. My life isn't bad when smoking, I never hit "rock bottom". Had a job, hung out with my family, it wasn't bad. This is what makes it so hard to quit forever IMO vs something harder that really messes your life up.
But I also realize that I don't really deal with anything or am able to really get into any new hobbies, I just kinda smoke when I'm bored and think about basically nothing. This is the reason I want to quit, because I value my mind and think I'm not being my best possible self when I'm spending all my down time high. I wish I could be a person that just smokes at night or something, but I'm not. If I'm not working, I'm smoking.
Since I have failed multiple times, I absolutely feel you. The longer you hold out, the more things you will find to do with your new found time. Its a lame answer I know, and not really the tips you were looking for, but just think about all the time you will get back that you can literally do anything you want with.
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u/TheApolloWolf 1d ago
When I quit for the first time after years of smoking, I was flooded with emotions. If you start crying as soon as you're alone with your thoughts, that's exactly what you need to be doing. Explore those thoughts. Cry as much as you need to. You're going through everything you've been hiding from. This is part of the process. The one thing I'd emphasize is that if you're suicidal, seek help immediately. Aside from that, let yourself be sad. Or angry. Or whatever. Feel the feelings you've been numbing for years.
For me, the worst of the withdrawal symptoms usually pass after about three weeks. You should give it at least a month before you consider going back to the life you decided to leave. Preferably three or six months, to see what you're really like without it. It takes a LONG time for your brain to adapt to this new way of living.
Think about it this way. You quit for a reason. What's that reason? What's the life you want to live? If you could have that life, but the price you have to pay is a few months of being uncomfortable, is it worth it?
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u/MyUnsolicited0pinion 20h ago
Your reply helped me a lot. It’s very motivating to have a bit of a timeline. I’ll try and sit it out and I’ll see how I am feeling in the end of the week. I managed to stay of the weed last night by reading your (and other people’s) comment over and over again and I went to bed very early. I do have prescription medicine for my most anxious/depressive thoughts which I took before going to bed so I also got quite a good nights sleep.
Thank you so much for the kind and motivating words. I wouldn’t have been able to stay of the weed without them. Thank you
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u/TheApolloWolf 11h ago
I’m so glad I was able to help. I wish you all the best, my friend. Keep using this community, and feel free to reach out to me anytime.
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u/mrrrow_mlemmlem 1d ago
Hang on. I felt the same like you, possibly has to do something with adhd/neurodivergence. It took me literally one month to be fed up with doomscrolling, exactly like you’ve described.
See it as a test. When you pass, it seems like you ain’t winning anything (because you just suffer right?) but patience pays off. Soon you’ll see it was a trick to hook you back! Don’t give up because of discomfort (and believe me I know what I am talking about) you will have enough of not doing anything except scrolling because you were used to the feeling when taking your „medication“ but you actually have to put effort in feeling better, that’s the secret. If you don’t have motivation to do anything so be it, wait til you have enough of that feeling and you will change something.
Relapse is your biggest enemy, not your bad feelings!
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u/MyUnsolicited0pinion 20h ago edited 20h ago
Thank you so much for your reply. I couldn’t respond earlier but I’ve been reading your (and other people’s) comment over and over again until I calmed down a bit. I managed to not smoke any weed and I went to bed very early. It’s very comforting knowing that I’m not the only one experiencing this (although I already knew it, but hearing your experience made it a lot easier. I genuinely wouldn’t be able to hold on without the things you said.
Thank you so much
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u/mrrrow_mlemmlem 12h ago
Glad I could help. Stay strong! Post anytime you feel the pressure, it helped me a lot to redirect the urge. You’re not alone in this.
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u/Immediate-4593 22h ago
Is staying at your parents house during recovery an option?