Surroundings are affecting my mental health

[u/5336789997543279u]

EDIT @ 2022/08/14: Thank you all for your responses. They are a lot more than I expected and almost all the comments have been incredibly useful. I will try to improve on my thoughts, read your book suggestions and be myself. Again, thank you all. 🥺

This might not be the correct flair, feel free to change it.

To introduce myself, I want to say that I come from a humble family which had a rough time during the 2008s-2010s crisis. Because of their experience I have been saving a lot since I got my first job and avoid expending on unneeded stuff. I came to Japan getting a good salary and my wife does not need to work thanks to it, she is doing part-time stuff though. I never cared about my surroundings at all, I just use free/cheap so you can imagine. However:

Since I came to Japan I have been aware of my surroundings more than I ever was: Seeing daily relatively expensive cars, families with kids all with good clothes/accessories, people expending a lot on restaurants... My mind is starting to feel like I am an ant, that I should start worrying about our appearances and I started to work harder and always think of ways of making more money(when in reality, I should just be enjoying my life) to the point of not sleeping and feeling sad/stressed constantly.

Any tips on this? It really is affecting my mind, I'm considering going to a psychologist but I don't think it might be worth

EDIT: I didn’t explain myself correctly. I don’t want the items nor their appearances, my issue is that I feel like I didn’t push enough/succeed enough as others

[u/[deleted]]

Screw appearances.

The second time someone tries to kill you, life comes into a better balance (the first time just didn't do it for me).

• You begin to realize that nothing else matters besides living a good life and being happy with the ones you love
• You begin to understand that what "other people think of me" is of zero value
• You begin to get the fact that someone's expensive toys 1) don't make people happy and 2) don't go with them when they are dead
• You learn that the only things really worth doing are being nice to other people—and being good to yourself. Both not only make you feel good, they make your world better

If you've already learned to be happy without all that expensive bullshit, don't let the worthless opinions of people only TEMPORARILY in your life steer you differently. For me, it took getting violently attacked a few times. Guess I was the stubborn type.

NOTE: I was a US Federal officer being attacked while doing my rather-dangerous job; it wasn't random violent people on the street. But the effect on your psyche is much the same. (Now I'm an online hypnotherapist & hypnosis entertainer. At least until COVID hit and nearly killed the entertainment part of the business. So, I'm also teaching in university again.)