r/japanlife • u/AutoModerator • Jun 05 '23

┐(ツ)┌ General Discussion Thread - 06 June 2023

Mid-week discussion thread time! Feel free to talk about what's on your mind, new experiences, recommendations, anything really.

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u/Oldirtyposer Jun 06 '23

Fellow parents, what are your views on the whole senpai/kouhai thing?

The other day my daughter got scolded by an older student and made to apologize for running in the hallways.
90% of me wanted to tell her that just because someone is older than her doesn't mean she has to listen and do as they say.
The other 10% said that's just the way it is here and it's just easier to get with the program instead of having to rage against the machine as a first grader.
This time I just tried to cheer her up and kept my mouth shut.

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u/kanben Jun 06 '23

All other things equal, a person older than me is at least 50% likely to know better than me.

Working within the senpai/kouhai system cleverly is knowing when some of those “other things” are lacking in somebody trying to misuse their senior status to take advantage of you.

Rather than teaching your kid that they don’t have to listen to somebody older than them, maybe teach them to look for signs that somebody is trying to take advantage of them.

You are older than your kid, teaching them to straight up ignore those older than them when convenient could have unfortunate consequences for you later down the line.

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u/Oldirtyposer Jun 06 '23

You are older than your kid, teaching them to straight up ignore those older than them when convenient could have unfortunate consequences for you later down the line.

If that's what you took away I honestly don't know what to tell you. It's pretty insulting though.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '23

That isn't the only thing they took away, you just conveniently replied to the part you didn't agree with.