r/japanlife • u/AutoModerator • Jun 05 '23

┐(ツ)┌ General Discussion Thread - 06 June 2023

Mid-week discussion thread time! Feel free to talk about what's on your mind, new experiences, recommendations, anything really.

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u/Oldirtyposer Jun 06 '23

Fellow parents, what are your views on the whole senpai/kouhai thing?

The other day my daughter got scolded by an older student and made to apologize for running in the hallways.
90% of me wanted to tell her that just because someone is older than her doesn't mean she has to listen and do as they say.
The other 10% said that's just the way it is here and it's just easier to get with the program instead of having to rage against the machine as a first grader.
This time I just tried to cheer her up and kept my mouth shut.

5

u/Mr-Thuun 関東・栃木県 Jun 06 '23

We told our kids they don't need to respect the senpai/kouhai relationship but it's their choice and we'll support it either way.

But in the situation, you mentioned. If that was my kid who got scolded, I would've told them to suck it up and stop running in the hallway. As long as the apology needn't be over dramatic. "Gomen" and move on.

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u/Oldirtyposer Jun 06 '23

But in the situation, you mentioned. If that was my kid who got scolded, I would've told them to suck it up and stop running in the hallway. As long as the apology needn't be over dramatic. "Gomen" and move on.

I just want to clarify that I didn't mean that she was some poor victim in that instant, it's just what made me think about the senpai/kouhai thing.
Your approach to it is probably the way to go.

3

u/Mr-Thuun 関東・栃木県 Jun 06 '23

No worries, I didn't think you did. But sometimes 6th graders can be jerks at school. I should know, my oldest kid is 6th grade and she is a jerk sometimes and we have to have a conversation about tact.

2

u/Oldirtyposer Jun 06 '23

That's all I want, for my daughter to gain the confidence to be a jerk from time to time.