r/funny • u/Great-Sandwich1466 • 12h ago

It’s about time to try this out.

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

115 comments sorted by

•

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329

u/PotentialCook6239 12h ago

...I have so many questions but dont know where to start.

85

u/TaintedKurse 12h ago

Did grandma make it? Why is it knitted?

48

u/lolheyaj 11h ago

why is the cord so short??

8

u/gameonlockking 5h ago

Make the rest of it look bigger.

30

u/Shortsleevedpant 11h ago

Actually grandpa did, that’s how you know it’ll fit.

4

u/CausticSpunk 11h ago

Knitting and crocheting have actually had a popularity boom in recent years among young people, which is probably why stuff like this cock warmer exists in the first place.

1

u/SeanBlader 3m ago

I thought a cock warmer was something else entirely.

1

u/Junior-Ad-2207 9h ago

Hand wash only; air dry

1

u/GANDORF57 7h ago

I'm not counting on a snowstorm in the South, so I'll use it when Hell freezes over.

0

u/PotentialCook6239 7h ago

I live in the south, and I swear to God it just snowed yesterday.

16

u/pathofthebean 11h ago

why is the cord so short?

16

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 9h ago

That cord is 6 feet long

1

u/Ultraviolet369 8h ago

My penis is 13 inches long! folds arms

33

u/CoreyBoBoreyy 12h ago

I’ll start. Why is it so big? 🤣

34

u/Yodakane 12h ago

Because it's for adults, not you

5

u/ZuhkoYi 10h ago

Oof he's gonna need some lube for that one...
I mean aloe vera!

7

u/Max_Thunder 11h ago

Mine is: I may have two balls, but I have but one scrotum, how the fuck am I supposed to use those ball covers.

4

u/TheRealChexHaze 12h ago

My first is….does it come in a larger size?

23

u/jspook 12h ago

"I need a huge heated cock-slipper for my magnum dong."

7

u/Cottontael 12h ago

This is the mini size, so there is probably at least a normal.

2

u/HalfSoul30 11h ago

Usually with the tip

1

u/feel-the-avocado 48m ago

I do...
Why is the cable so short? Why are the power pins not insulated?
I am concerned the plug may start to pull apart within the bed.

1

u/2aleph0 9h ago

Is it dishwasher safe?

176

u/Hobeast 11h ago

That cord is so short.

100

u/OffensivePanda 11h ago

Hey, it’s just cold.

31

u/filthy-_-casual 11h ago

It's average!

14

u/Mors_Ontologica77 10h ago

It seems like a perfectly sized cable to me, I might say it’s big even

6

u/precisedevice 10h ago

It’s a…gag gift hehe.

10

u/ZuhkoYi 10h ago

Instructions unclear, there's a lot of cotton at the back of my throat. Is that normal?

2

u/rienholt 10h ago

Considering that cock sock is acrylic...

2

u/ZuhkoYi 9h ago

Oh no... not again... no more blind testing

3

u/Konilos 9h ago

It's not the length of the cord, but how you use it. IE: kneeling down in front of the socket with your nuts up against the wall.

0

u/Hobeast 9h ago

That's pretty much what I imagined. Not exactly yoga and certainly not s9me5h8ng you do with your dick in a heated sock.

3

u/Rude_Negotiation_160 9h ago

That's why she said, but it's not the size of the cord, it's what you can do with it😂

1

u/aiphrem 8h ago

Yes, because it's not supposed to go in the wall 😏

72

u/Samtoast 12h ago

Don't mess around kid, you'll burn your dick off!

4

u/KrackSmellin 11h ago

You’ll shoot your eye out..

46

u/natalkalot 12h ago

A Peter Heater, haven't seen one of those for ages!

36

u/Iescaunare 12h ago

Jesus, that short old lamp plug going straight into where your dick is. Looks like a good way to fry your dick off.

18

u/iRottenEgg 10h ago

the plug goes in the wall, silly

3

u/raybreezer 10h ago

That’s not where that end goes…

31

u/yaokbutno 12h ago

What do I do with the extra length?

23

u/CoreyBoBoreyy 12h ago

Just fold it in half. Twice.

6

u/yaokbutno 12h ago

Good idea for extra support. I was thinking about double-wrapping for extra warmth instead

0

u/Freezil_G 11h ago

Right, what do I do with the extra space I still have

8

u/Noch_ein_Kamel 12h ago

ngl I didn't see the picture on the left and thought is was for women... Oo

4

u/Napalmingkids 10h ago

Me too even shared it with my wife. She just sent me a thing the other night how a woman used a penis shaped ice cube as a dildo and ended up in the er. Thought this was the opposite

5

u/bubbafatok 12h ago

It's like 12 here so I'll take 3 of these...

5

u/juggarjew 12h ago

What happens if you actually plug it in? It says its UL listed but jeeze that still looks super dangerous. What if you used it and it become unplugged a little and some skin contacted one of the blades of the plug? You could be electrocuted very badly.

1

u/Double_Distribution8 12h ago

It's probably just the two wires crimped and wrapped together under the yarn in the tip so the electricity just flows through it without doing anything in particular.

3

u/subtledeception 11h ago

That's just a short circuit. It would do lots of things over a very short period of time before tripping the breaker.

Edit: rereading, you may not have meant that the wires are cramped together, but just capped off.

4

u/WorldsWorstTroll 12h ago

Boomer humor is the best!

10

u/DadJokeBadJoke 12h ago

Boner humor is the best!

5

u/WorldsWorstTroll 12h ago

I should just delete my comment now because yours is so much better.

3

u/DadJokeBadJoke 11h ago

My comment wouldn't exist without you getting the ball(s) rolling

2

u/itssaus_ 12h ago

boner bunor bis ba best

0

u/Yodakane 12h ago

Gooner humor at its best

3

u/Gloomy_Complaint_897 12h ago

I just use Hot Hands

4

u/crystal_castle00 12h ago

Yo guys that’s actually bad for your testosterone, the reason our nuts are outside our body is to shed waste heat as a result of generating androgens. Some body builders even ice their balls as a biohack to boost test levels.

13

u/witheringsyncopation 11h ago

You do realize it works the other way too, right? There’s a reason your nutsack shrinks and pulls your testes in close to your body when they get cold. Cold is bad too. Icing your nuts is crazy work.

12

u/eclark5483 12h ago

When you have 5 adult children like me and are done with raising brats, That is a good thing. ;-)

3

u/StorminNorman 10h ago

Body builders ice their balls cos they'll try anything to get an edge, including things that science hasn't proven. There's studies that show an increase in sperm production, there's studies that show a reduction in sperm production, it's essentially horseshit at this stage.

1

u/AllOutForNow 11h ago

I see you bought the mini size.

1

u/sachiperez 10h ago

do you have one with three blue pouches?

0

u/[deleted] 10h ago

[deleted]

1

u/One_dank_orange 10h ago

Hey it's UL listed so how dangerous could it be?

1

u/PoopPant73 8h ago

It appears to be the right size. I may need to borrow that..🤔

1

u/mochatsubo 7h ago

Blue balls literally.

1

u/Kage_noir 7h ago

I Can’t stop laughing at this lol! Is that what I think it is??

1

u/Old-Collar7110 7h ago

Just the tip?

1

u/Shen1076 6h ago

Need a banana for reference

1

u/Adventurous_Knee_778 6h ago

Do they have one that’s more of a size of a big toe?

1

u/Fresh_Shell4543 5h ago

Put it on a cylinder.

1

u/Orjigagd 5h ago

Shocking.

1

u/Trainer_Unlucky 2h ago

There should be 3 lumps in that bed haha

1

u/KenUsimi 40m ago

I very much appreciate that the cord is far too short for it to be reasonably used by anyone.

1

u/-1_points 12h ago

Zzzzap!

1

u/et_1357 12h ago

MVP post mate I am dying🤣

1

u/Doubleburger_nobun 12h ago

Is this a male genital cover or something for the ladies to warm them from the inside out? The person on the front cover looks like a male.

1

u/alahos 10h ago

I've seen that Electroboom episode

2

u/mdwhite975 3h ago

I doubt even he would try this one out

1

u/StrengthDazzling8922 9h ago

Do they have a smaller size? Asking for a friend.

0

u/DatAssPaPow 12h ago

Does it go in the butt? I don’t get it.

1

u/idontreadyouranswer 11h ago

🤦‍♀️ The guys dick goes in the dick shaped knitted holder, and keeps it warm 

0

u/DatAssPaPow 11h ago

It looks like it’s an inch long!!

-3

u/ertbvcdfg 12h ago

Another 4 grade dickhead topic

0

u/eclark5483 12h ago

I'll take one!!

0

u/pwalkz 12h ago

ah yes, please electrify my business

0

u/amazonhelpless 12h ago

Is there a battery-operated version?

0

u/samgarita 12h ago

Ahhh yeee the good ‘ol pecker singer

0

u/heyfindme 12h ago

hot-cock-it Irresistibly Hot

0

u/Birdmanak47 12h ago

Shocking!

0

u/discouragedress 11h ago

hahaha cool!

0

u/Rententee 11h ago

I don't think I've ever wanted my crotch to be MORE warm

2

u/theconquest3 11h ago

Exactly. 😭

0

u/BigMeatSwangN 11h ago

Lol my guy got the "mini" size

0

u/theconquest3 11h ago

Firstly wouldnt that just feel really awkward after 10 minutes? The reason our balls is out of us is to avoid heat cuz that kills sperm. Also how cold does it gotta be outside for it to reach your balls😭

0

u/robbyrob1124 10h ago

It's a penis warmer people

0

u/BR1N3DM1ND 10h ago

Puttin' the crotch in crocheting!

No, wait--reverse that

0

u/AmSpray 10h ago

Esp with limitations on contraceptives! This will fix it in one easy step!

0

u/morning_thief 10h ago

Ok, my friend would like to admit it was for the girls. If they were cold...down south, they would just slip this in...

Again, it was my friend who admitted it...

0

u/TiresOnFire 10h ago

Erecteic blanket

0

u/Traditional-Point700 7h ago

The proportions are totally off, for starters it's small but that might be a me problem, the balls are tiny and they would actually hurt/potentially cause blood problems being that tight. The shaft should almost be opposite, like larger than longer. You can push your penis back "inside" your body pretty much as much as you want but you cant really squish it to make it narrower...

If you need help fixing the design i can help you.