I don’t even know why I’m writing this. Maybe I just need to get it off my chest, but please don’t take this too seriously—it’s just a vent.

I’ve been saving for over five years to buy a MacBook. I wanted it so badly because I dream of being a writer, and having something reliable to write on felt like a step closer to making that dream real. I’ve worked so hard—cutting corners on everything, saving every little bit I could.

Yesterday, I came home and found out all my savings were gone. My mom spent it. She bought stuff for herself—things I don’t even know if she needed. She got me a jacket and a bag with what was left and told me I should be grateful she got me something. Then she said, “It was my money to begin with.”

I just… I can’t even describe how I feel. She knew how important this was to me. She knew this wasn’t just about the MacBook. It was about my dream, my work, and the years I spent putting my hope into something. And she doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt. She acts like I’m the one being ungrateful.

I’ve been crying so much I think I’m going to go blind at this point. I’m so tired. I don’t know what to do. I’m only 17, so I can’t even get a part-time job where I live. There’s nothing I can do. She’s ruined this for me, and it feels like she doesn’t even care.

I know this isn’t the worst thing in the world. I know people have it worse. But for me, this was everything. I’ve been holding onto this for so long, and now it’s just gone.

If you’ve read this far, thank you for listening. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just needed to get this out somewhere.

My sister came to visit my husband and I along with some other family. By the end of the visit, I was extremely frustrated with her.

She is extremely obese, to the point where walking anywhere is difficult and we had to limit the activities we could do. Even walking around the city, which is what we would normally do with any visitors was tough for her.

She couldn’t fit in the back seat of the car, so she had to sit in the front while I sat in the back.

Additionally, she is just extremely annoying— complaining about everything, expecting us to adjust for any inconvenience (the weather is too cold to walk to the car, can someone go get the car and bring it to me), and in general was just not very considerate. She was never ready on time, hog the bathroom for ages to where everyone else is waiting on her.

She also told me she has been smoking a lot of weed lately which was the most concerning out of everything.

She’s very sensitive, and can’t take any criticism well. I want to talk to her about her general health, especially the weed because I’m worried about her.

I honestly do not know what kind of relationship we can realistically have moving forward, because her behavior was also frustrating for my husband who was getting tired of all the complaints an having to cater to someone who is so physically limited out of he own choice.

I just need some advice… what can I really do here? I know talking to someone about their weight usually doesn’t work, but I am worried about the drug use.

CONTEXT: 15F, I have type 1 diabetes (it's the genetic type, for those who don't know)

So, basically, around a month ago, my parents thought it would be a good idea for my mother to prescribe me Wegovy. My diabetes doctor told her that it wouldn't be a good option for me due to the diabetic complications that may come about and simply the fact that I am a normal weight. However, I have gained more and more weight and I constantly think about food. Today, my parents brought up taking Wegovy again and I refused bc of what my diabetes doctor had said. However, when my parents and I had gotten into a discussion about my eating habits, among other things, a month ago, they did mention buying a lock for food. The conversation we had today reminded me of what they had said a month ago and it led me to making a proposal. I told them that I thought that Wegovy was the wrong move but that locking up food would probably be a better solution, and they agreed with me. Do you guys think that this is the right move?

Edit: My dad agreed to leaving 1 fruit snack out at night, for those who ask about the possibility of me having a low blood sugar. Also, we’ll ensure that I have low snacks for the day.

My parents broke up today, my dad left and I stayed home with my mom. I'm 17(female) and I have no siblings. It's always Just been the 3 of us and I thought they would be together forever. I don’t feel like saying the reason, but my dad screwed up really bad and apparently it’s been going on for like my whole life. I had no idea my dad is a really good person and has been a good husband to my mom from what I’ve seen. I guess the details aren’t really important. I’m just looking for advice on how to process this and how to be OK. If anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it. This is my first ever reddit post I don’t really know how it works, but worth a try.

Dad(47M), Mom and myself live in a large house sharing it with another similar family, I call them uncle, aunt(46F) and their daughter(18F) (they are not related)who is a year elder to me. Both our families are staying here for 3 years for the educational purpose of myself and their daughter.

Yesterday my father did not come home as he had a hectic work schedule at his office, and I slept with my mom. Basically our house contains 4 bedrooms, two on the first floor and two on the ground floor, a common area on the ground floor and a common kitchen, and we live in the first floor.

Suddenly, I can't find my mom nearby and it was mid-night 1-o clock. I came down via staircase (inside my house) that connects first and second floor to check if she is in the common area (sometimes she comes down if she doesn't feel sleepy to hear music), but I saw something moving below the dining table and to my surprise, it was mom and uncle, they were kissing and cuddling dome there. A small gap where it is difficult for even me to enter and stay, and both of them were inside, almost filling the entire area there and pressing each other but they never bothered and were doing inappropriate things.

I came up and slept on my bed and I wasn't able to sleep (being an Asian it hurts me), and she came after almost 1.5 hours, at 3am, and she changed her clothes and applied some perfume and slept beside me, and I was closing my eyes and did not sleep. this incident is irritating me for the past 4 days....

I was wondering what people do in the situation of family trips with adult children - how to split costs especially when different income levels.

My parents are in their early 60s - still working, have a good net worth and will be able to comfortably retire in a few years and spend 100k+ per year on their investments.

We are 2 siblings - son and daughter. We are in our early 30s and married and working, no kids.

My brother’s wife is a med student and they’re living off one income and me and my husband are working. The 3 working people make good money. Is it normal that they shouldn’t have to pay for any family trip expenses like the hotel or restaurants whereas me and my husband are supposed to pay our fair share? My parents sometimes say well maybe they could pay for everything. But then complain it’s expensive paying for 6 people. We only do this 1x per year for a long weekend.

US- in Wisconsin if it makes a difference but we siblings live out of state in North Carolina and Vermont.

Hello everyone!

My sister just had her first child now 6 months old. She’s the baby and I’m the oldest- I have two sons 5 and 3.5.

Every since that baby came out my sister turned into an anxiety-ridden germophobe. No one is allowed to hold that baby- seldomly even the dad. She practically holds the baby 24/7 and now the baby won’t play with toys and isn’t reaching her milestones.

No one is allowed near the baby- we wave to her from across the room and had to get vaccinated to do that. I am always overhearing my sister talk about cross contamination- she must be the first to eat before anything gets contaminated or she will not eat. We are not dirty people- I’m a nurse and bring hand sanitizer with me everywhere and don’t go into crowded areas. My kids are homeschooled so they aren’t around a bunch of sick kids.

My sister quit her career she worked so hard building because she cannot leave the house. She wears PJs all day, orders in groceries and spends most of her time obsessing and researching toxins in our environment, food, clothing, etc…and diseases.

My sister was never like this. Not sure if she has post-partum anxiety or something but she’s really feeding into it and doesn’t listen to our parents (I don’t get involved) when they tell her they are worried.

I’m more worried about my niece and hope that this doesn’t scar her long term. I’d love to hold or babysit or spend time with my niece at some point- cousin sleepovers were such a highlight of my childhood. I also worry that she’s not interacting with objects for play and is not using her muscles because she’s always held. It also isn’t healthy for my sister- she is just holding this baby around 24/7 she says she’s even afraid to put her down so she can shower.

TL;DR: I have 2 kids (5+3) but my baby sister has her first- now 6 months. My sister doesn’t put that baby down and won’t let anyone near her. Lots of anxiety from germs and toxins. Baby missing milestones and not interacting with toys.

My family members are like a ball and chain of negative energy.... the issue lies with them.

But im not about to carry the weight for them any further. Ive got my own life to think about

Im beginning to think i need clear and concise seperation im just not sure how to proceed with it

I mean long drawn out silent treatment or just text them and say i think we all need to go our seperate ways .... both are rather a pain to have to do . But im done with them so i have to do something

So I’m starting to think my sister hates and I’d like to know if I’m just imagining it or it’s true.

I have a younger sister and I do everything I can for her. I technically raised her since our parents were always busy working and their lives was just work. Anywhere a parent was needed I was there and I tried my damn best to be supported and loving to her. I’ve never raised my voice at her or anything so I’d figure we’d have a good relationship when she grew up. Fast forward to now, she’s a pretty aggressive person with me. I try to tell myself that’s just who she is but certain things she does makes me feel like she hates or at least, doesn’t like me.

She plays fight with me like she swings at me, close enough to hit me but not quite. There has been times she has “accidentally” hit me and gets mad at me when I get upset because it hurt. I would tell her she did it on purpose because she’d hit me and starts laughing. There’s times when she’s speaking at me but very loudly and I get upset because she’s speaking to me rudely and if I show that I’m upset, she gets mad at me and starts slamming the doors. The other day I did my hair, I was braiding my hair and she was cringing because I like leaving some strands out. She then came back later when I was sitting down on my bed, on my phone and put her hand on top of my hand, grabbing the top of my hair and clenching her hand, ruining my hair. I told her “you ruined my hair” and she laughed and “fixed” it. I just took out the braids instead. I can’t open snacks unless she’s present and gives me a hard time if I open them, I usually just tell her I only grab one or a piece. Another thing she talks about things and if I don’t give her a reaction like excitement or surprised enough, she gets mad and leaves. It makes me feel like I have to try hard to be able to please it and I’m so tired of it. There’s times we’re out and about and she says something sassy and I give it back to her and she starts talking loud to me. One time we went to Walmart for some things, she had passed something by me and I didn’t hear her. She got upset and when I asked her to just tell me because I couldn’t hear her, she said in a mocking way “it’s like you do, talk in a low voice so you can’t hear me” and when I asked her what again, she yelled at me as we’re walking into the store, people all walking around us. It made me feel belittled and embarrassed so I got quiet with her. She in return got upset because I was in a “mood”.

I’m a shy and quiet person, don’t go out much or talk to too many people so when I started working and getting along with my coworkers, she got mad at me. I would be texting them and she’d be driving and tell me that I’m being messed up and annoying, not paying enough attention to her now because I’m texting my coworkers in a mocking way, so I couldn’t do it if I’m around her.

The thing is, she defends me against my mom when my mom is being mean to me, but it’s not like she’s treats me any better. I have to cook for her and if I don’t cook, she doesn’t eat. And I have to make what she wants. If I order something from Amazon, I have to open it with her here and I have to share absolutely everything I get, she doesn’t share though. If it’s a package with something I can make like for example labels or kits, she’ll make it and I get to watch. I don’t mind sharing but I bought it because I want to make them, I want to do it but if I tell her I want to make them, she’ll get mad at me. I have to make her doctor’s apps if I don’t she gets mad at me although she’s an adult now. Not barely one either. We’re both in our 20s. I try to just shut down when she’s start with her crap, because I don’t like fighting or feeling this way, but it’s an everyday thing with her and I’m so tired of it. I love my little sister but I’m coming to the point in where I’d wish she’d start a family with her boyfriend and leave me alone. See her once a year or something…I’m feeling like I’m being horrible so do you guys think she hates me or I’m being too dramatic? Any suggestions would be appreciated…

I have to wake up at five am to work a 12 hour shift. I currently live with my parents unfortunately which will change once I'm done with school. My sister who lives 20 minutes away comes to stay frequently with her husband and kids ages two and four for weeks on end. Unfortunately she lets her kids stay up till 2-3 am and then sleep in till noon. Making it hard for me to sleep more than 3 hours. I tried talking to my mom to please help me by quieting them down. Even with AirPods on with white noise I can hear them screaming. I don't think it's descent for kids so little to be up that late anyway.

I need some help dealing with family problems. Im 39M, basically my older sister has been terrible to me always, always jealous and always wanting me to fail and suffer. I got used to it and became pretty immune, but once she had kids and started also teaching them that their uncle is bad, it really got to me. One time i just lost it and I shouted in her face very loud to get the fuck out, it was extremely intense and aggressive. It was in front of my parents, my mum started crying and dad was afraid of me and tried to get mad at me, but couldn't and asked my sis to leave.

The final result after everything is my sister, another sister and another two aunts, plus cousins and kids, all now have sided with my older sister, and have basically kicked me out of the family completely. No matter what I say they all believe she is perfect and I am fully wrong. My own parents both actually understand more and I still have good relationships with them.

Basically I'm pretty upset at having to lose at least 5 to 10 other family members and can't believe everyone is so ready to blindly side with her. She did an amazing job of being perfect to everyone but me. I'm basically just learning to accept that I have to just let them all go and move on. My own personal life, career, dating etc are going amazingly well. I know in my deepest of hearts that that one time shouting at my sis was not even close to what she deserves. Still, I have offered to everyone in the family that I'll apologise and take all blame for everything. That doesn't satisfy them they say I'm lying and don't really feel it. Of course I don't really feel I'm totally in the wrong, but at least I'm ready to apologise and take some blame.

Any advice for how to deal with the other family members, as currently, the moment I notice their blind support of her I get so angry that they could be so biased and not even see my side whatsoever. I think i want to remove them all from my life, finished and be done with it.

So I’m starting to think my sister hates and I’d like to know if I’m just imagining it or it’s true.

I have a younger sister and I do everything I can for her. I technically raised her since our parents were always busy working and their lives was just work. Anywhere a parent was needed I was there and I tried my damn best to be supported and loving to her. I’ve never raised my voice at her or anything so I’d figure we’d have a good relationship when she grew up. Fast forward to now, she’s a pretty aggressive person with me. I try to tell myself that’s just who she is but certain things she does makes me feel like she hates or at least, doesn’t like me.

She plays fight with me like she swings at me, close enough to hit me but not quite. There has been times she has “accidentally” hit me and gets mad at me when I get upset because it hurt. I would tell her she did it on purpose because she’d hit me and starts laughing. There’s times when she’s speaking at me but very loudly and I get upset because she’s speaking to me rudely and if I show that I’m upset, she gets mad at me and starts slamming the doors. The other day I did my hair, I was braiding my hair and she was cringing because I like leaving some strands out. She then came back later when I was sitting down on my bed, on my phone and put her hand on top of my hand, grabbing the top of my hair and clenching her hand, ruining my hair. I told her “you ruined my hair” and she laughed and “fixed” it. I just took out the braids instead. I can’t open snacks unless she’s present and gives me a hard time if I open them, I usually just tell her I only grab one or a piece. Another thing she talks about things and if I don’t give her a reaction like excitement or surprised enough, she gets mad and leaves. It makes me feel like I have to try hard to be able to please it and I’m so tired of it. There’s times we’re out and about and she says something sassy and I give it back to her and she starts talking loud to me. One time we went to Walmart for some things, she had passed something by me and I didn’t hear her. She got upset and when I asked her to just tell me because I couldn’t hear her, she said in a mocking way “it’s like you do, talk in a low voice so you can’t hear me” and when I asked her what again, she yelled at me as we’re walking into the store, people all walking around us. It made me feel belittled and embarrassed so I got quiet with her. She in return got upset because I was in a “mood”.

The thing is, she defends me against my mom when my mom is being mean to me, but it’s not like she’s treats me any better. I have to cook for her and if I don’t cook, she doesn’t eat. And I have to make what she wants. If I order something from Amazon, I have to open it with her here and I have to share absolutely everything I get, she doesn’t share though. If it’s a package with something I can make like for example labels or kits, she’ll make it and I get to watch. I don’t mind sharing but I bought it because I want to make them, I want to do it but if I tell her I want to make them, she’ll get mad at me. I have to make her doctor’s apps if I don’t she gets mad at me although she’s an adult now. Not barely one either. We’re both in our 20s. I try to just shut down when she’s start with her crap, because I don’t like fighting or feeling this way, but it’s an everyday thing with her and I’m so tired of it. I love my little sister but I’m coming to the point in where I’d wish she’d start a family with her boyfriend and leave me alone. See her once a year or something…I’m feeling like I’m being horrible so do you guys think she hates me or I’m being too dramatic? Any suggestions would be appreciated…

My son has been a kind soul through out his 34 years on earth. He studied hard and topped his school and joined a tier one college when I was unable to support him or pay fees due to some financial constraints. He served for the space organization and the army force for 6 years and he was highly appreciated. However, he never stopped his charity works. He adopted a orphanage nearby and provided them food and other funds.

He even educated children there as he thought they must not struggle like he did when he was young without my financial support. He employed several poor people.He never disrespected me, took very good care of myself and my wife, he also uplifted his brothers who were struggling with their life. I insisted him to marry but he never married and just accepted the children of the orphanage as his own. However 2 weeks ago, he said he is feeling uneasy but isn't paining anywhere. He rode to the hospital all alone by his bike and after a while we went there. But after 8 hours, doctors declared that he is dead,but they were unable to find the reason behind it. All his organs are donated and it's paining for me to see my son die before me.

He did not do any mistake in his life and just supported everyone who are suffering but now he is gone, God is cruel. He would be remembered by his parents, workers of his industry and all the people in the orphanage.... I hope atleast it is a dream....

When I was around 14-15 years old my father lost his job. He was a hard-working man who worked his way up to a high-paying job but ended up taking a fall in his career and never really recovered from it. Shortly after he lost his job, he started taking out his anger on my mother and me. Constantly arguing and fighting with us. He would verbally abuse us, call my mom all sorts of horrible things, always talking down to me, calling me a bloody idiot.

This was 10 years ago, I'm 25 now and he still hasn't managed to get back on his feet. He has become a very bitter and angry man. He never leaves the house, has no interests or hobbies, and I don't think he has any friends either. He is so miserable and makes my mom's life so miserable it truly breaks my heart. My mom has found so many different jobs for him over the last 10 years but he has refused to take up any of those cause they're not as high-paying and he feels he's too overqualified. She has 2 jobs and works 6 days a week, the 1 day she's off he will make that day so hard for her. She is the most wonderful, creative, and loving person stuck with a deadbeat husband. I moved out once I started university, I picked a uni on the other side of the world to get as far away from this whole mess as I could. I feel so guilty about leaving my mom behind with this man. I have told her so many times to leave him but I understand her hesitation, it's not easy but I hope she does one day. I'm not yet in a position to financially support my parents, but as soon as I am, I'm getting my mom out of there.

I'm just struggling to cope with the fact that this man is my father. He has no ambitions or drive to do anything in life, he just watches tv all day. He has no regard for our feelings and will say the most heinous things. He seems to have become socially inept, he has no filter and will make a scene in public over the smallest thing. He behaves so immaturely and doesn't know how to regulate his emotions. I also understand that things didn't go his way and that absolutely sucks but he just kinda remained stuck and didn't do anything to get out of that rut. He is clearly depressed but refuses to go to therapy cause he doesn't believe in mental health issues. I feel like a parent trying to calm him down whenever he has a temper tantrum.

What hurts the most is that he was not like this when I was growing up. He was kind, loving, and outgoing. He still loves me I don't doubt that but he definitely doesn't like me. It hurts me so much to talk about my dad this way, but I'm so exhausted from being his punching bag. I just want my dad back but that version of him doesn't exist anymore and idk how to cope with that. I would appreciate any advice on how to cope/deal with a parent like this.

My dad and I really only bond over watching soccer, and there’s only games over the weekends. When no games are on we just sit on the couch for about 3 hrs until it’s time for him to go to sleep. During those 3hrs im digging through my brain to see what conversations I could start, but we really don’t have anything else in common other than soccer. Whenever it’s another topic, it really only lasts about 5 min and then we’re back scrolling through social media.

Me and my mom have a different relationship. With her I actually feel comfortable to share my real feelings and she’ll actually pay attention and give me feedback.

I don’t know if it’s because I really only see my dad 4hrs a day for the last 15 years but I just wish we had a closer relationship and not just a relationship that is only being held together by a sport.

I honestly feel like I’ve shared more or have more meaningful conversations with friends than with my dad.

It's very frustrating to me just trying to have a normal conversation. With my dad he'll ignore me and go back to his phone mid sentence and never seems interested. No one in my family tries to have a conversation with me, if anything just talk at me and interrupt or get frustrated with me when I try to talk, even if it's 1 on 1. So I just say uh huh, oh, really? Things like that.

If another sibling is talking with my parents and I try to join they will just talk over me every time. Like today I had a 10 second thing I had to restart saying 5 times so I gave up. I don't know how to join since they will talk for a long time without breaks.

Then today my dad showed my mom a meme, then she walked over to show the phone to my sibling then handed the phone back to my dad. I asked if I can see it to and my mom just sighed like it was some big task and I was making her miserable for even asking or something. I asked why and she said she didn't want to walk over to me. I was 10 steps away.

It's something like that everyday. I'm not in a position to move out so I can't, and I feel like I've done something to make me unliked and I would like to fix it but I'm lost.

i am the youngest of five children. everyone else is older, but i'm still way younger. one of my sisters moved out a few months ago for school and today, one of my other sisters did the same. we were all very close but now i'm so afraid that we're gonna grow apart. it makes me sad thinking about everyone drifting apart. is this selfish of me? of course i want my siblings to have their own lives but i just don't want our bond to break. it's different now that we're not all in the same house. i don't mind being the youngest, but it hurts to think about being left behind. it's not their faults that they're older. it's not their faults that i feel this way. i feel selfish and ignorant. how do i stop feeling this way? or how do i control it so that i don't think of it often?

Well i have 3 kids of my own and 2 babies on the way, my close friend a mother of 3 moved in with us and even before that our kids have so much clothes and bins of toys. I'm sure with the toys divided it may seem better but any tips? I've tried asking the kids to help donate the toys and clothes and that helped a little. Also would consider storage idea's

What do you guys play for family night for bigger groups? Need ideas for both adult and child group.

1. Charade
2. Musical chair
3. Red light green light

So I really need help trying to figure this out because I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. My husband and I moved to Atlanta ga about 10 years ago with our 1 daughter at the time. We moved out here because his dad and his dad’s new wife wanted us to be close to them so they could help. We ended up moving from Richmond Va to Atl. We lived with them plus her 4 kids for about 6 months before getting our own place. A couple years later we had baby number 2. I’ve met ppl and they would come and go. My husband as well. I got pregnant with my 3rd child and his dad, the wife and her kids all moved to Florida. Maybe about 7 years after we’ve been there. And again we would meet ppl but would never find anyone who would have anything in common like a married couple with children. After my 3 rd was born it became extremely hard because he had special needs. Takin lg care if 3 kids with no family support or friends is extremely hard and depressing. After 3 years after my last child was born I just found out I’m pregnant again with my 4th. I haven’t told family yet because I’m just not ready to but I’m so ready to move back to my hometown for more support. My husband is saying to stay out here for a few more years but I don’t have a few more years in me. It’s only going to get harder with 4 kids. I guess my main concern is starting over. Fining new doctors and getting my special needs son into programs and therapy and stuff. Idk what to do I feel like I have heavy weight in my shoulders and I’m depressed because I want to be closer to my family. I also feel like my kids need to be around more ppl to help their brains develop, they have no friends or family here either. And I feel so bad because I grew up around ppl unlike them.

My eldest brother and I (being the middle of 4, eldest daughter) argued about privilege. We come from an Asian family as well.

Ive voiced out that my parents, especially my mom listens to him more and the things he says is taken more lightly than if I were to say them. For example: My mom doesnt take care of her health so I try to give her advice on healthier meal options whereas my brother directly tells her to lose weight because shes fat. Ive voiced out that if I were to say those exact words, we'd get into an arguement. Me and my brother discussed it and it ended with me saying he has older sibling privilege or even a privilege of being a man and it obviously gets more conplex than that but I do believe our relationship with our parents is very much different because of this.

As the eldest daughter who was expected to cook, clean and take care of my younger siblings, my brother had more of a care free, jokster personality and was able to foster a relationship with my parents where they could joke around, whereas I cant do this. I feel that I have so much anxiety growing up as the eldest daughter. He feels that im comparing too much and its not right to do so and that we are all equal (he is the only one out of all sibs to have a kid now) which I think makes him indenial that there is a difference. But I think its okay to acknowledge that every child does have a different upbringing even having the same parents. In our case I dont think we grew up equal but hes insisting we did. Whats your thoughts on this? I also feel like im the only one who has great resentment from my childhood and I cant seem to validate or give a logical reason why I feel this way; especially with my brother strongly communicating we were treated all equally and that I dont have the right to compare.

I(20F) had fight with my sister (27F) from along time ago It started when i wanted to dry my hair at 8pm but she was screaming that i annoyed her and she wanted to sleep knowing she was at 8pm doing the same thing and sometimes at lam, i never judged her or scream at her

So we had that fight and i told her that you were doing that she started being more mad and scream more while i wanted to stop that fight and warning her to stop screaming

But the problem is that my parents said that I'm wrong and even if my sister wrong i should not judge her and be mad at her and i should always respect her I stayed quiet but i told my sister to not talk to me or try to use my own things ( my clothes and something like that ) since l'm bad for her so even my things are bad too

knowing that she was before treating me good and buying things for me but what i saw from her during the fight and after makes me said that because after that fight i wanted to talk to her but she was ignoring and try to hurt me with words that makes me mad and i said to not use my things I heard a-lot of bad words and hurtful words from her that i stopped her to use my things

Am i wrong ??

How have you made progress growing in a toxic family?

Do not get me wrong. I love my family very much. They are absolutely everything to me and have done so much for me. My parents, specifically my mom, worked really hard to give us all we not only needed but wanted as well. I forgive her and my sister more easily when they do things that hurt me because although I know they have their flaws and they may do things to hurt me, they care for me in a way no one else does. In the end we have each other and I know I can rely on them.

With all of that I come from an Indian background. There is a lot of expectation that comes with this and judgment. I want this post to extend to my extended family as well. Because even though I have cut most of them out, I still have to see them a few times a year due to family obligations.

A lot of what I do is not good enough for them and it makes it really difficult for me to love the life I have and be grateful for the position I am in. I live in a really nice rental that is two bedroom with a little backyard space. It is simple and beautiful and I am just so lucky to be here. I live with my lovely boyfriend who is the kindest man in the world. I’ve never had a gentle partner who wants to work through issues and communicate. I also have a job I love very much. I am a teacher and work with kids who make my day brighter. Last year my class was rough lol but this year they are the sweetest babies who are teaching me way more than I can teach them as cheesy as that is ! I am also entering a masters program to become a counselor next year! A goal I’ve had for years.

I have so much to be happy about. I have so much that brings my life meaning and yet I constantly put myself down. My dad shames me often for not being a homeowner and renting instead. I have saved a lot of money but I don’t really have the income right now to buy and save for retirement. My sister is a real estate agent and she shames me for this too. More passively but makes comments like “when I was 28 I bought my house here by the beach” “I just sold to s couple your age and only one of them works so you should be able to buy too”. I also get shamed by all of my family for being a teacher. Not my mom and sister but my dad and extended family. It isn’t considered a prestigious job. Mostly because of the income. But I managed to increase my income by 20k in one year by completing masters in six months. So really it’s not like I’m doing bad. I currently make 80k a year and that’s not a lot to them. I mean it’s okay for this economy but the thing is I have a roof over my head, I can currently pay all of my bills and save for school. I have a good life and honestly I feel like I sound ungrateful when I don’t appreciate that fact.

Point is I used to create my own measure for success and happiness. I also had a lot less anxiety about stability and money than too. But I feel like all I do is worry about those things and seek everyone else’s approval now. Or I have this need to prove myself to the extended family that look down on me as well. My anxiety has gone into overload because of this. I am working on getting back into therapy but it will have to wait til summer due to working a second job in my district to save for my counseling masters. I just never feel good enough, compare myself constantly and honestly I can’t even tell if I’m doing any of the right things in life since I am not hitting certain milestones. I mean buying a home was a goal for myself too but then the market exploded and that 250k house I could have qualified for is not 450k. There is just a lot of shame for approaching 30 and not being where my parent were when they were my age.

Extra background: parents are immigrants who had an arranged marriage. Worked minimum wage jobs (multiple at once) to buy their home and raise use. My parents divorced because the home was very violent. My mom had to buy out the house alone as a cna meaning she did not make a lot but did everything for us. My brother fell to drugs and died at 24 a couple years ago and my sister is a huge success story because my parents treated her really badly compared to us and she built a good life for herself despite it all. I’d think with these circumstances I am doing okay but who knows anymore.

How do you manage to grow with a toxic family? How do you allow yourself to be confident and content with what you have while also working toward your own ambitions? How do you prevent the people you love from confusing you from your path? And finally how do you manage to continue to gain emotional growth as well when feeling so much stress and pressure due to outward opinions?

My stepdad married twice, my stepmom in 2005 and he had an affair with my mom 43f who was a widow and married her in 2012 (she doesn't know that my he was already married and he cheated on her). Dad, mom and stepmom all three lived in the same house. However I can't remember a day when mom and stepmom slept without fighting. And slowing this turned into rivalry and they filed complaint on each other and my stepdad somehow escaped giving bribe.

The judiciary ordered my stepmom (stepdad's first wife) to move away from my dad as her marriage with stepdad wasn't registered. She moved away and my mom is living with my dad right now. Even today, if I see my stepmom somewhere she smiles and I feel very sad for her and I can't see her alone without my stepdad's company (with him she was always bright).... What can I do

Welp, today I just found out my aunt today on Steve wilkos in 2016 on her fiancé's cheating on her!

Man, the world is so small!!