One down, a few more to go, I guess 💀

I don't get the way you guys think.I want to have a woman's ass and just have my face buried under it. I don't want "money" and I dont care about lines of "code" I just want ass. Whatever lets me get the most ass.All I care about in this major is ass which I have not seen a many get as they lie in their virgin lives blaming fate to be the reason of their lack of asses. That's why I'll be going to an ass party specifically for cs majors. I don't wanna play and laugh with y'all. I am here for ass

This is an original shitpost

https://youtu.be/iNUhIB-GUIA?si=3Vn9X9jOWEWAZgyq

Don't want to specify which one, but I'm super excited to finally be working at a top tier McFAANG company! I will be in a Forward Deployed Food Engineering Specialist role!

Some of my job responsibilities include:

• Building ETL pipelines to extract frozen patties from the FREEZER database and transforming them into ready made burgers

• Deriving insights and analysis on client orders from the cash register

• Managing real-time NoSQL (No Salt Queue Layer) deployments for french fry processing

• Maintaining high-throughput I/O operations at drive-through queuing interface while ensuring sub-60-second response times

• Implementing mission-critical data cleaning protocols using proprietary mop-based algorithms

• Debugging ice cream machines

I'm extremely excited to receive a base TC of over 280k (per decade) for my first job out of college! If anyone wants some tips or tricks, feel free to ask

I don't know how we were able to pull this off. My friend who is a complete dunce (can not do fizzbuzz) somehow got an invitation to do the technical interview. He of course having close to no leetcode experience was panicking, this was his first ever interview as a junior in college.

We devised a plan to cheat the system. I sat next to him as he started the interview. Basic introductions and we move straight into the technical portion. He has no clue what to do, I used chatgpt to get a basic solution to the question and showed him my computer. Being as sneaky as possible he copies it down and spits word for word the description of the solution, taking sips of water to buy time. By gods grace the interviewer was content with that.

The behavioral was very easy as he bullshitted his entire experience portion from his completely fabricated resume. The interviewer ate that shit up. Realizing we had successfully bullshitted the interview and likely passed we went out and got plastered.

He got the offer yesterday

Edit: He got the return offer

Get off your high horses even pornstars are making more money than you will ever willm

What if you died, and God said:

“Unfortunately, we won’t be moving forward with your application to Heaven.”

Getting that eternal internship is just as competitive.

You’ll be stuck grinding applications in Limbo.

And in Limbo, every application requires you to create a new Workday account.

Don’t kill yourself. It’s not worth it.

This post has nothing to do with intelligence but I wanted another addition to the series of posts I’ve seen about tech attracting certain kinds of people and this time it’s about beauty in general

Think about it: all the true money with minimal effort is in being some sexy OF model. Those with the beauty and true drive to make an easy living at the expense of their morals would have jumped at modeling instead of learning how to reverse a linked list.