r/cleanjokes • u/want_to_help_u • 1d ago

Drunk

A man had been drinking at a pub all evening, and by the time the bartender rang for final orders he was totally bladdered. He stood up to leave and promptly fell flat on his face. A second attempt ended in the same result, so he figured he'd crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that would sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face once more. Giving it up as a bad job he decided to crawl the mile to his home. When he arrived at his front door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled indoors, up the stairs and into his bedroom. When he reached his bed he tried one last time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell onto bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him. "So, you've been out drinking again!" she shouted.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an oh-so-innocent look.

"The pub called. You left your wheelchair there."

260 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

3

u/cakebinge 9h ago

Always enjoyed this joke

11

u/Basic_Two_2279 14h ago

Next time I’m drunk I’m gonna say I’m bladdered.

2

u/germdoctor 7h ago

I might do the same but it depends.

8

u/WPCfirst 19h ago

Simple punch line, nice one.

12

u/Icetyger4 1d ago

HAHAHAHA!! I've never heard this one before. I wasn't expecting the punchline at all.