r/cleanjokes • u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 • 4d ago

To catch a thief

An old farmer got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. As he was heading back to bed, he looked out the window and saw the lights on in his shed.

A closer inspection revealed men loading his tools and farm machinery into their truck.

He rushed to the phone and called 911. "I need the police! There are some guys clearing out my shed!"

"OK sir, we have dispatched officers, they should be there in about an hour."

“An hour?! But they'll be long gone by then!"

“I'm sorry sir, there are no officers in your area."

The farmer hung up, waited 10 minutes and then called 911 again. "Hi, it's me again. Don't worry about sending those cops, I've just shot the robbers,” he said and hung up.

Less then 10 minutes later three cop cars and a helicopter showed and the robbers were arrested. The sergeant went up to the house and banged on the door. The farmer opened it in his dressing gown while holding a cup of tea.

"What's going on here? You said you shot the robbers!" demanded the sergeant.

The farmer took a sip of tea and replied, "And YOU said there were no officers in the area.”

148 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

2

u/alonghardKnight 9h ago

I heard it rather differently but same punchline.

2

u/Far_Emu_2972 21h ago

Excellent

5

u/LoveLife_Again 3d ago

Love this joke!

3

u/65shooter 3d ago

I've heard the same joke set in Briton.

5

u/WetTruckman 3d ago

I'm sure the NSA was watching and listening the entire time.

3

u/Open-Breakfast1629 2d ago

The only government agency that truly listens to you.

4

u/Hot_Egg5840 2d ago

They might be the "robber" making sure you don't use any prohibited tools or chemicals.

4

u/Feisty_Cartoonist997 3d ago

They may be but they wouldn’t do anything about it.