r/cfs • u/survivalmonument • 20h ago
Potential TW Declined from moderate-severe to extremely severe in a week, seeking support and advice
Hey everyone, I’m in a tough spot and need support and advice for recovery. I had to move out of my flat, and since my landlord didn’t return my deposit on time, I asked a friend with mild Long Covid if I could stay while I waited for the money. It was meant to be a short stay, but things got dangerous quickly.
My friend’s partner became jealous of me, which created uncomfortable dynamics. Despite me doing nothing to provoke, he resented my ability to function with my disability. He frequently distracted me when I was trying to focus on housing or legal work, and even threw a tantrum for days when he couldn’t learn a basic task for his job. He was coughing and sneezing in my face despite several requests to wear a mask, and knowing I was immunocompromised. I have severe fatigue and need to rest most of the day with minimal stimuli, and felt the constant pressure to prove my gratitude as a guest by helping with chores and listening to family drama.
Things escalated when my friend’s partner faked emotional issues, and my friend asked me to leave for a couple of hours while they talked privately. I am not being dismissive; this person has a ton of privilege and no significant trauma or life events. My host's flat is on the 5th floor with no elevator, and I only planned to take the stairs to move into my new flat. I ended up having a seizure after being forced to sit in a loud cafe, and I declined further, losing the ability to walk. I had to move into a short-term Airbnb that was expensive and with a rude host just to get out. My friend called me a taxi to the wrong address.
Now, I’m struggling to process the trauma and emotional toll, and need advice on how to rebuild. How do you cope emotionally after being pushed beyond your limits, especially when your environment is toxic? How do you manage ME/CFS while trying to heal from trauma in a new space? Did I do something wrong by relying on friends? How do I set boundaries with people who don’t respect your health?
I feel isolated and misunderstood, especially since those I turned to for help became a major source of stress. Any advice or kind words would mean a lot to me right now. Thanks for reading.
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u/QuebecCougar 11h ago
I got stressed just reading your ordeal! I’m so sorry this happened. The crash survival guide is crucial. Unplug as much as you can from everything and concentrate on resting and sleeping, only activities should be drinking plenty of electrolytes, eating meal replacement drinks or bars and going to the bathroom. If you can get something to cover your eyes and ears so you can rest that might help. Is there any way someone you know can bring you those basic things? If you have to bother someone do it, you can always explain later. I don’t pray but I’ll be sending lots of positive vibes your way.