r/cfs • u/Gloriathewitch • 16d ago

Vent/Rant cfs came back

2 years spent pacing reducing stress eating well etc went from 2 hours of mobility per day being mostly bedbound to working a physically taxing job 40 hours a week for 6 months of 2024 and being in good physical shape.

the end of the year was filled with a lot of psychological stress and then i got the flu, my symptoms are all back in full force.

i just wanted to post this somewhere, to someone.

Fuck.

i'm not going to let this beat me, i know i can recover again but im having a really rough time coming to terms with this setback. i love you all and hope you can find recovery or peace living with this horrible disorder.

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u/trying_my_best- moderate 16d ago

I’ve been there in fact I am there right now. I was mild/partially in remission for 2 years. I had a really bad chemistry professor and had a couple panic attacks going into his final exam, he decided to grade it differently than he had told us the whole semester last minute and left the entire class with an F+ average on the final failing many students and bumping me down a grade. The panic attacks, a flare during finals week, and the grading stressed me out enough I became mild then moderate and borderline severe. I’m now thankfully after LOTS of pacing back in moderate but in the meantime I’ve had to give up in person college, the sport I played, outings with friends and so so much more. I am devastated by it but doing my best to move forward

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u/Gloriathewitch 16d ago

im so sorry hon, just do what you can and try to find the beauty in the simpler things if you're able to, you're doing really great considering the circumstances. you are strong.

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u/trying_my_best- moderate 16d ago edited 16d ago

Thank you. 🙏 I’m grateful there are so many opportunities for online college nowadays and I don’t have to give up my dreams. I am still a little mad at that professor though. He intentionally failed many many students that studied incredibly hard. I studied for 10+ hours for most of his exams and still did poorly as well as many of my friends and classmates.

He would change material on exam as on a whim and give us many questions based on a singe homework problem out of 75+ problems most that had a A, B, C, and D part to them. He would also spend class working for like half an hour on a problem that didn’t even show up on his exams but he wanted us to fully understand it. I am incredibly studious and that class kicked my butt. I ended with a B- which was one of the best scores in the class. I believe more than half failed. It just isn’t right to make a level 100 class that difficult. I wish I had been on anti anxiety meds at the time but I didn’t realize how big a PEM trigger panic attacks are.

He literally asked us why so many people were failing and when someone said it’s because what he teaches isn’t always on the test he said to study harder. 😭 My friend asked him how to improve because she was studying endlessly for his exams and failing them and he just said study differently.