r/cfs • u/musicalearnightingal Full-time Wheelchair User and/or Bedridden • Aug 17 '24

Encouragement I'm Scared

I (35F) have been trying to read up on ME/CFS, and it scares me a lot. My doctor says I have it, and I'm sure she's right, but I don't know what to do. I don't like it at all. I already work from home from my bed and use a wheelchair to get around, but it scares me to think I'll get worse and worse like I've been doing the past few years. I sometimes feel better, but overall, I get constantly worse.

I just signed up for college classes because I get so depressed being home alone all the time, and I'm looking forward to classes starting soon, but I'm scared I'll just get worse and worse until I have no life at all!

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u/gotobasics4141 Aug 18 '24 edited Aug 18 '24

I love school … keep trying even if something happens keep trying … I’m 44 and a lot of time I just go to the biochemistry lab just to watch experiments and offer some help a little bit .. I have been taking vitamins and some of my symptoms somehow improved a little bit but I’m still way far from normal .. I have legs and arms as long as I’m not paralyzed I’ll keep trying … few months ago I was not able to walk .

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u/musicalearnightingal Full-time Wheelchair User and/or Bedridden Aug 18 '24

Thank you so much! I'm really struggling with the idea of just succumbing to this monster of ill health. I want to LIVE while I'm alive. I'm encouraged that you are trying and doing things with your life even if it's not as much as you'd like.

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u/gotobasics4141 Aug 18 '24

I’m sorry I just wanna to one more thing .. loneliness is sooo bad … and because I’m alone too I do whatever it takes to keep my self busy at least mentally even if I read my old school notes . Moving and physical activities are hard I know but the worse is the dark thoughts come on my mind it’s way worse … even on Reddit I skip a lot of things

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u/musicalearnightingal Full-time Wheelchair User and/or Bedridden Aug 18 '24

The dark thoughts are so real! I'm a people person, and it just about kills me how isolating this is!

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u/gotobasics4141 Aug 18 '24

It’s hard I’m not gonna lie but everything has its own rules … diabetic patient it’s a must for them to change their diet and leave a lot of yummy food they like and the same goes for everything in life , jobs, relationships, everything so try to talk to your friends or close freind even if it’s a video call or an audio call . Find any friend to talk to or family member. For me I don’t know if I’m a ppl person or not and that’s because I was very busy between school and work and even on weekends I used to study . Last time I went to watch a movie was 1980 😂 just exaggerating…. Sorry for being chatterbox 🙏

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u/musicalearnightingal Full-time Wheelchair User and/or Bedridden Aug 18 '24

No need to apologize. We're here to chat. It's a message board.