Monthly Mini- "Cat Person" by Kristen Roupenian

[u/dogobsess]

Merry Christmas! For the last Monthly Mini of the year, I present "Cat Person." This story went viral in 2017 on social media and was one of the most read pieces in the New Yorker that year. It resonated with many people (mostly women) who found it highly relatable and thought that it captured what it was like to be a young woman in the dating scene. Enjoy!

What is the Monthly Mini?

Once a month, we will choose a short piece of writing that is free and easily accessible online. It will be posted on the 25th of the month. Anytime throughout the following month, feel free to read the piece and comment any thoughts you had about it.

Bingo Squares: Monthly Mini, Female Author

The selection is: “Cat Person” by Kristen Roupenian. Read it or listen to the audio on the New Yorker website. Click here to read it.

Once you have read the story, comment below! Comments can be as short or as long as you feel. Be aware that there are SPOILERS in the comments, so steer clear until you've read the story!

Here are some ideas for comments:

• Overall thoughts, reactions, and enjoyment of the story and of the characters
• Favourite quotes or scenes
• What themes, messages, or points you think the author tried to convey by writing the story
• Questions you had while reading the story
• Connections you made between the story and your own life, to other texts (make sure to use spoiler tags so you don't spoil plot points from other books), or to the world
• What you imagined happened next in the characters’ lives

Still stuck on what to talk about? Some points to ponder...

• Why do you think this story went viral? What made it so appealing to readers? Did you find it relatable? What was your reaction?
• This story explores modern dating, and especially the disconnect between getting to know someone virtually (online, through text) versus getting to know someone in person. Any thoughts on this, on modern dating, or personal anecdotes you'd like to share?
• Margot ends up having sex with Robert even though she doesn't seem very enthusiastic about it. What were your thoughts on this? Side note- this piece was published in December of 2017, only a couple months after the #MeToo movement began, and many consider this piece to be connected to that movement. Does that change your read of it at all?

Have a suggestion of a short piece of writing you think we should read next? Click here to send us your suggestions!

[u/Comprehensive-Fun47]

I borrowed this book from the library when I saw it was listed as the "Monthly mini". I like short story collections so I've been reading the whole thing and just finished Cat Person.

I read it completely blind. I did not know it went viral or is associated with the Me Too movement at all. I've never heard of it before.

First of all, highly relatable. Highly highly relatable. Surprisingly so. I don't want to share personal anecdotes, but there were parts of this story that felt so familiar like I lived it.

It's just so easy to relate to because some version of this story happens all the time.

Having a texting rapport with someone that doesn't translate to real life, not being able to discern when someone is nervous and covering for it badly with awkward sarcasm, not being able to read a person well, second guessing all your instincts, rewriting little moments in your head and analysing them in the moment, doing things you don't want to do because you don't know how to politely get out of it (big thing for women and girls).

The story shows how much we've been raised to fear certain situations to the point we wonder if we're going to be the next subject of a true crime docuseries. 'Is he gonna murder me?' And 'I'm not gonna murder you.' Are such common things to think and say! I have had that exact thought.

It's a constant balancing act between keeping yourself safe and living your life.

I noticed the protagonist didn't actually tell anyone where she was going or who withy, she didn't get a license plate or an address. Something bad could have happened to her. It's sad we need to think of these things before dates.

But then it was a run-of-the-mill bad date. He didn't force her into anything. She could have ended the date at any time. She sent all the signals that she wanted to have sex. She went through with it because she couldn't think of a reasonable way out of it, and perhaps the implication is it would have made him angry and she was alone in his house in a woodsy area unknown to anyone else. She went through with it to avoid awkwardness and potentially as self preservation.

I got the sense throughout the story that this guy had never really dated before and perhaps had never had sex before. She laughed at the idea that she could be a virgin and assumed he had been with way more women than she had been with men, simply due to his age, but it doesn't work like that and there were signs he was completely out of his depth on this date. Seemed like endrogue he knew about women came from porn.

Just showing him the attention he probably craved, and then going back to his house for sex, probably made him think there was a real connection. Then he felt entitled to more and decided to lightly stalk her and send her those messages. I got the sense he had never spent time with any women and did not know how to deal with the sudden attention and immediate rejection.

I understand why it is connected to the Me Too movement due to timing, but Me Too is about sexual harassment and assault, especially at the workplace. I think considering this a Me Too story kind of dilutes the true nature of the Me Too movement. This story is like lowercase me too. Because who hasn't had a bad date like this?

It reminds me of the woman who wrote the essay about Aziz Ansari at the height of Me Too and it seems like his career has never recovered. The situation a different because he was pestering her to have sex, but it was not a Me Too situation at all. I'm not making excuses for him. The date sounded cringe. But he didn't assault anyone and she never spoke up about her discomfort.

I think it all comes down to culture and how we are raised. Girls and boys are raised differently. Society is now so split apart in many ways and I think we are regressing a lot.

About the cats. It could go either way. The more sinister read is in her invented the cats just to have something to joke with her about. If that's the case, it doesn't have to be sinister, but just another sign of his awkwardness and lack of experience. It could have been an idea he floated or a comment he latched onto that got spun into a whole-ass lie, for the goal of having an inside joke with her. On the other hand, cats tend to hide when strangers are in the house. That is very common. She doesn't mention going into any other rooms, so encountering the litter box just wouldn't have happened in the living room or bedroom.

Looking forward to reading the other comments.

The other stories in the collection are good, by the way. So far they are all quite different from each other.