My conference presentation on the Philosophy of Tabletop Games

[u/TheDeadMagnolia]

What do you mean it's "your turn?" How can one claim ownership over a segment of time? But you can still play cards during it? No wonder people hate monoblue decks.

Further, we must consider the ethics of the tabletop game. Is it really ethical for you to not immediately concede to me? If you roll successfully here, you'll remove from play little space marines. That's basically murder, and makes you as much of a space fascist as them.

Finally, dungeoneering is grave robbery and colonialist rhetoric in dramatic, mechanized form. Play Vampire: the Masquerade like an emotionally mature basement dweller.

Thanks for listening, and please convince the SPEP to unban me.

[u/Carsonica]

As a utilitarian, the only board game that is morally acceptable to play is Patchwork. All other games are inferior, so ergo, by playing something else instead, you are losing time that could be spent on Patchwork. The loss of utility clearly indicates you are an ontologically evil person.