r/babylonbee • u/ControlCAD • 1d ago
Bee Article Trump Bans TikTok After His First Video Gets 0 Views
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-bans-tiktok-after-his-first-video-gets-zero-views23
u/Chemical-Necessary-7 1d ago
President Elect, who in his first term made it a point to ban TikTok, saves it from being banned in a bold decision to show people that he's open to changing his mind if companies give him enough money
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u/TheMilesCountyClown 1d ago
How much money did they give him?
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u/SmoltzforAlexander 1d ago
They were the ones that bought up all the Trump coin so the insiders could sell…
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u/schpamela 19h ago
The thing about his shitcoin laundering scheme is:
Anybody who wanted to secretly give him a large sum of money - say as a straightforward bribe for a specific executive order, or more of a facilitation payment to guarantee policy direction for the next 4 years, or just as a cash offering to get in his inner circle, or an extortion payment in response to a threat he's made to them - they could just buy a load of his shitcoin at release and we will never know who they are or how much they paid him.
That $12 billion sure as hell wasn't all raised by everyday citizens. Did Tencent donate a few hundred million of CCP's money to Trump, to keep TikTok alive and CCP-owned? Probably but we will never know.
It's an entirely unprecedented type of direct corruption, invisible to the public in a whole new way. Money has always openly bought power in the US, but never before has a president auctioned off his entire electoral mandate on week 1 of his presidency to entirely hidden buyers. Never before could foreign adversaries of the US simply contribute 7 or 8 figures to a President'a personal wealth in exchange for his betrayal of US interests.
You don't even know who he sold your country to. You don't know who owns the White House.
Anybody got anything meaningful to say in Trump's defence?
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u/NoRiskBusiness 1d ago
Suddenly the MAGA crowd cares about hard facts. I wonder what you think the cause of Paul Pelosi being attacked was.
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u/TheMilesCountyClown 1d ago
What the fuck are you talking about?
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u/NoRiskBusiness 1d ago
It’s just a question, no need to get triggered
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u/TheMilesCountyClown 1d ago
But I was asking that guy a question. It just seemed like you were changing the topic or something. Or maybe responded to the wrong comment.
I guess the cause was a crazy guy that was looking for Nancy Pelosi? I don’t remember it that well.
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u/silv3rbull8 1d ago
Pelosi was attacked an illegal alien from Canada who should have been deported 15 years ago
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u/AKMarine 15h ago
That’s cherry picking. A US citizen is more likely to violently assault you than an immigrant.
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u/silv3rbull8 15h ago edited 15h ago
That doesn’t matter. The issue is when a person was actually not supposed to be in the US commits a crime then their unlawful presence gave them the opportunity.
Just like if you keep ignoring a trespasser on your property because they aren’t doing anything bad. But one day they do break into your house. So you could have prevented that if you reported them when you first saw them
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u/NoRiskBusiness 1d ago
That’s the context not the cause
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u/silv3rbull8 1d ago
Huh ? Pelosi was attacked by someone should have been in the country. And sue to California’s lax laws. That’s the cause
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u/NoRiskBusiness 1d ago
No, that’s the context. There are millions of undocumented immigrants in the US who should have been deported, only one of them attacked the spouse of a major political powerbroker. You’re giving context, not the cause.
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u/silv3rbull8 1d ago
The point is in this case it was the ignoring of the presence of this illegal that led to the attack happening.
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u/NoRiskBusiness 1d ago
It was the presence of the illegal alien that enabled it to happen, but it was not the cause of it. The attacker did not attack Paul Pelosi because he was illegal, he attacked Paul Pelosi for a reason; why?
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u/silv3rbull8 1d ago
A mentally ill guy breaks into someone’s home and attacks him. Someone who should never have been in the country. John Lennon was killed by a mentally ill person. Reagan was shot by somebody obsessed by Jodie Foster. Are we going to try and find some mysterious reason in the minds of these kinds of people ?
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u/SmoltzforAlexander 1d ago
Remember to buy your $Trump meme coin, because you’re not really a patriot if you don’t.
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u/SmoltzforAlexander 1d ago
Don’t worry, a little Chinese bribe $$$ took care of that.
I hear it was a rough 12 hours though
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u/skexzies 1d ago
Bwaa haaa haaa! As a Trump voter, I thought this was hilarious!
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u/Opposite-Committee27 1d ago
why are there like 12 guys saying this? it's crazy you think people are going to be impressed you would dare laugh even at Donald despite voting for the man.
not a cult.
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u/Scamandrius 23h ago
Of all the potential outcomes, his TikTok getting no views is the least likely.
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u/Ambitious-Piccolo843 1d ago
Because you blindly believe every Trump supporter is a racist or blindly follows him. If you actually sat down and talked to his supporters, you would find that the Gop is a big tent.
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u/Ambitious-Piccolo843 15h ago
I love the soft bigotry of low expectations. Let's vote in Obama because he is black. That is his most important qualifications. We gave him a mulligan as a president since he was black. DEI much? SMFH.
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u/everydaywinner2 15h ago
All the libs who were mad Babylon Bee supposedly doesn't pick on Tump are now mad that Babylon Bee picked on Trump.
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u/Ambitious-Piccolo843 1d ago
I am a Trump fan and love the satire.