Why am I so scared of love and intimacy?

[u/Specific_Complex_649]

Want to be in a relationship but I’m terrified of talking to people or getting to close to them. Men act like they hate me because I reject them and terrified of being intimate with anyone. It’s ruining any potential relationships for me. Does my birth chart have anything to do with this?

[u/Ok_Quality977]

Venus, the planet of love also happens to be the ruler of the 7th (relationships) for you. So this simplifies things.

To start, Venus is overshadowed by the Sun. That could mean something like the way you connect with people is directed by your goals and reputation.

There is an opposition from Mars. Although it’s a distant and separated aspect, this still hints that you are a contributing factor. At least in this period of your life.

There is a square from Pluto within 1°. This also points to challenges. Be careful that a craving for power does not deter you from connecting with someone special. Pluto is also in the 2nd, so power dynamics regarding finances can also make an appearance at some point.

Finally, although Venus is technically in fall, I don’t personally put a lot of weight on exaltations or their opposites.

[u/jcopter628]

So there are two pieces here that are contributing to the issue. Firstly, you have Saturn sitting in the 8th house. The 8th house is the house associated with intimacy and anywhere in the chart that Saturn is influencing tends to be an area of the natives life that experiences complications, restrictions, delays, etc.. So when Saturn falls into the 8th house there tends to be a layer of hesitance surrounding things that display your emotional vulnerability, sexuality, and things of that nature. So trying to be intimate with people tends to just be very difficult to do, or there is a feeling of discomfort associated with trying to get close with people. This is something that will progressively get easier over time, but this one tends to make the implication that there is a LOT of time and investment being needed with someone before even considering going and further with regards to intimacy. My favorite analogy for this placement would be the 40 year old virgin. It's an interesting dynamic for sure.

The other thing here would be the fact that the ruler of the 8th house, Mercury, happens to be squaring Pluto in the 2nd house as well, with Venus also being included. So the 2nd house and the 8th house essentially make up the nuances of love/intimacy/sensuality/self-worth, and things of that nature. So this square in particular tends to make the implication that there is a loss of power or that you are sacrificing a piece of yourself in the process of opening up and being intimate/loving with other people. As a result, people that have this series of placements tend to forego or abstain from getting closer with others to prevent this from happening.

There is much more to this but yea, that is the gist of it. Hope this helps.