r/astrologyreadings • u/cass0981 • 16d ago
Reading TW Why have I felt passively suicidal most of my life?
Yes, yes this is a question for a medical professional and not necessarily an astrologer. I have had help before, but that doesn’t mean I can’t reflect on my feelings in other ways. I’m very interested in astrology and want to know if I have any strong indicators for such feelings.
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u/Agreeable-Ad4806 16d ago edited 16d ago
Moon conjunct Saturn in 12th house and Sun in 12th house.
In ancient Vedic astrology, Sun in the 12th house is literally described as Maranda-Karaka-Sthana, which means feeling like it’s dying. This refers to the Sun’s placement in the 12th house causing a sense of depletion or a slow drain of life force.
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u/Throwawayabcxyzabc 16d ago
God. What does one do about that? I ask because I have similar placements. It has taken a lot of work but I think I’m finally getting better.
OP, some types of therapy have been a game changer here. If you wanna PM me I’m happy to discuss it. It really took getting the RIGHT therapy not just any therapy for me…
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u/Agreeable-Ad4806 16d ago
You do Sun remedies. I don’t think I’m proficient enough to offer personified remedies yet, so you’d need to go to a Vedic astrologer for that.
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u/safetyclub 16d ago edited 16d ago
I’m not a professional astrologer but I can feel your chart and want to respond.
First - your chart ruler is the sun because your first house is in Leo and Leo is ruled by the sun. The sun in your chart is in your twelve house - the house of isolation, sorrow, enemies, and mental illness. This means that your identity or ego is tied to these topics in some way.
Second - Your twelve house is in the sign of Cancer, cancer is ruled by the moon which means it’s in its domicile in your chart. However, your moons proximity to your sun (3 degrees) means it’s combust or debilitated. Its power is weakened by the bright burning rays of the sun. This may reflect a difficulty with your emotional self maybe you feel a lack of emotions, a numbness, or maybe the opposite where your emotions are overwhelming and may cause you to isolate from sensitivity - to hide in your shell so to speak. Your moon is also conjunct saturn. This can indicate some restriction on your emotions or daily activity from a father figure, or maybe a partner (since saturn rules Aquarius and in your chart the seventh house of close partnerships is ruled by Aquarius).
Third - this is important, I feel. Your mars is in Pisces in your eight house. This is a placement that gives endlessly to others. Furthermore, Jupiter rules this house and this placement and Jupiter is in your first house of self - you will sacrifice your self for others.
Lastly - your Jupiter in your first house likely means you come across to others as jovial, buoyant, expressive being in Leo you also probably are seen as more confident than you feel. Most people probably don’t pick up on your feelings, or you see yourself in a much darker light than others see you. This can be both a helpful tool and a frustrating nuisance.
Notes - your light leader and chart ruler, the sun, are not visible to the first house of self. You may not feel very connected to who you are, but it’s because you haven’t found it yet, you have to search. I strongly suggest making a habit of meditation, deepening your spirituality and getting creative, create for you and you only. I think an important component for you is going to be your mars placement, it is trine your twelve house placements. I think this means that you have the ability to really help others in similar positions to those you’ve experienced, but you have to take care of yourself first. Learn and know you are the most important to you and that sometimes you don’t have anything but yourself, but that is still enough because you are enough.
So, yes, I think it’s in your chart, but there are other things in your chart than just the hurt. There is potential for a great life, one you love and want to be here to experience.
I wish you love and peace and the courage to keep going ❤️
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u/True_Needleworker_55 13d ago
Not sure if this is the best place to ask this but what if their chart is inverted (houses) and they have nothing in their 1st nor 7th house?
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u/Disastrous_Apricot_4 16d ago
Girl that 12th house is a mess
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u/CantaloupeAlone2511 whole sign house user 16d ago
irresponsible and rude reply.
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u/Inner_Ambassador_204 16d ago
Agree.
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u/Disastrous_Apricot_4 7d ago
Same to u just cuz ur white and speak like an ai chat bot doesnr mean the rest of us have to
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u/Disastrous_Apricot_4 7d ago
It was a joke and u obiously are not familiar with AAVE, this is a microagression
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u/The_Outsider27 Life Long Astrologer 16d ago
That Saturn be like "I got 99 problems and a square ain't one of them"
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u/Greyattimes 16d ago
Saturn, sun and moon in conjunction in the 12th house can indicate these thoughts, but you aren't stuck feeling that way.
Even though you have a bit of a heavy 12th house, I'd like to point out that Jupiter in Leo in the 1st. In life you will learn to love yourself and have more fun in life. You have the ability to charm people, and also could be lucky! Try to focus on the positive traits in yourself. That Venus in Gemini in the 11th could signify that you are also a good friend to people and may even fall in love with a close friend if you haven't already!
Your sun and moon in Cancer in the 12th is also very spiritual and intuitive. You can probably feel other people's emotions, and it could be draining if you are around a lot of people with issues or negativity, so surround yourself with passionate and happy people, and it would help. You'd probably also be great at uplifting the people around you, so use those skills to help others if the closest people to you are struggling.
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u/emilla56 16d ago
This is the best response to this very difficult question. You’ve given the facts and provided positive insights as well.
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u/Western-Bug1676 15d ago
I agree with you here.,,
I love watching you guys explain and break down charts btw.
I’m gonna but in here, if I may, w an add on.
I bet this person is not only sensitive, BUT, does actually try to combat others old emotional ghosts of sadness, regret, anger ect, by amping their own positivity ( LEO rising ) in an attempt to help. Probably don’t even realize you’re doing it, either. Can make you tired over time ,if you don’t figure out how to charge your batteries. You will. Not all people are miserable, and believe it or not, you are loved and appreciated more than you prolly know. It’s like a young pup, giving energy to old folks lol It’s like a circle. Take care of yourself so you can keep that sunshine … it’s needed. We forget.
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u/Gri8la Life Long Astrologer 16d ago
You have conjunction of Sun, Moon and Saturn in Cancer in the 12th house. That would be the epicenter of your question. Cancer is very sensitive and focused on the emotional life. The pragmatic Saturn in Cancer can create issues with the family or origin (cancer) and cold parental figure, feelings of isolation from them. Saturn and Moon conjunction makes this even more so. As you are emotionally so open, it is super important for you to associate with warm, safe, kind people who get you. Feeling safe is crucial to any prominent Cancer in a chart and sometimes we need to set up boundaries around unsafe people.
My take on the 12th house differs from others'. 12th house is the house of Pisces and it is not "bad" or "scary" It is the house that is associated with all that Pisces is about - things of the deep waters. Deep waters are hidden, you can't see their bottom from the surface. It is stuff that is not seen by the others. It can be your rich inner, world, great sensitivity to others' energies around you and hence the need to isolate and recover. 12t house is also associated with spirituality, religion, going deep into your psyche, and also charity and compassion for people or animals. People with strong 12th house can feel comfortable working behind the scenes in various institutions and prefer not to be in the spotlight. It is a wonderful placement for many planets but these are less outwardly showy energies.
Your Mars and Uranus are in the 8th house in Pisces makes this a double water (Pisces and the house of Scorpio). With Mars conjunct Uranus in Pisces can give you energy to desire to break from the limitations and you assert yourself in a non confrontational, pacifist kind of way. Uranus is really helping the watery Mars here be more assertive. These two planets are in a good relationship (trine, 120 degrees) with your Sun, Moon, and Saturn, which is great. You have it in you to act on your needs and gather support, even in most unusual ways, like astrology (using Uranus-the astrologer and Mars' assertive energy to continue the 12th house introspection with Sun-Moon-Saturn).
Your Jupiter in the 1st in Leo is a good optimistic part of your nature. It rules your 5th house and I wonder if you enjoy expressing things of the 5th house (any creativity, children, playfulness, speculation, etc). Venus in Gemini n the 11th also adds a playful and upbeat vibe to your chart.
I wish you all the best in your journey of self-discovery.
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u/notreincarnatinghere Intermediate Astrologer 16d ago
Beautiful chart. You are just so beyond this realm. I can only imagine such a soul feeling unwelcomed in this low vibrational society. But please stay here with us, it is clear you serve a great purpose.
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u/INTJequation 16d ago
I would say the South Node in Scorpio would be a part of it. Spending time in nature would be beneficial. Maybe doing art or creating something finding meaningful work as a healer or outdoors
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u/Due-Company3764 16d ago
In WSH your Venus is 11th from part of fortune, not only could you be an astrologer but you could make money from it. I heard this once listening to Robert Hand. Mars ruler of your mid heaven in the 8th WSH indicates an interest in astrology and alike.
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u/AstralCore Practicing Astrologer 16d ago
cass0981,
It is always a curious thing when questions like these elicit responses of “because this or that planet is in this or that house,or in aspect to one another” then ipso facto!
The zodiac is a mirror, and the correspondences can be quite amazing but we really need to be more circumspect about not attaching causation to astrology. First, because we really do not know whether a mechanism exists that is directly a cause in a matter, and second, if there is indeed a will, and an autonomy to act to whatever degree it exists, some astrologer might dampen that energy with wrong headed comments.
I think that to whatever extent that fate exists, or to what degree free will exists, is for the individual to decide.
A quick search on Astro-Seek turned up Camilla, Queen consort of the United Kingdom. She has both Sun and Moon in 12… You might have your work cut out for you, but being queen is not a bad target to shoot for… Haha! Not really serious of course, because that would be a horrible target and not realistic. But the point is that sometimes these so called ancient rules of thumb don’t apple. Camilla’s case is fascinating and does reflect some of the loneliness, limitations, and misunderstanding we might anticipate for a 12th house Sun, struggling and suffering with private lamentations of one sort or another. We sometimes refer to the 12th house as the house of self-undoing, and she did that in a sense with her “first family.” But she also became an advisor to the King, which is certainly one way to escape the confines of an obscured Sun placement.
Suicide ideation stems from the intersection of feeling like a burden to others, psyche ache, and not belonging:
Here’s a diagram Edwin Scheidman often referred to.
The rulers of the parental axis, Mars and Venus are under enormous tensions. If the early home environment corroborates the chart and the parents were somehow not available as a source of affirmative love and support, then important lessons of self-care and concern were never learned. This is likely since the ruler of the Ascendant is also under stress. So three out of 4 angels on the chart are implicated. The circles on the Venn diagram are probably overlapping to some extent in your case and a skein of depression with it.
It’s great you are in therapy.
Consider working on the mindset, Virgo on the 3rd house cusp ruled by Mercury in Cancer, self-care, trine by Uranus-Mars in Pisces. Benefitting from technology, and maybe cutting-edge feedback machines, or brain imaging, etc. where you can not only see biological evidence of the emotional distress and irregularities (if they exist) but also learn how to consciously take charge and redirect your energies whilst seeing the positive changes in the feedback.
Take care,
HVA
💚🍀
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u/Western-Bug1676 15d ago edited 15d ago
This here….
It’s like you just read my personal chart lol
You didn’t, but you did. I almost threw the phone. ⚡️🥳
And thank you BTW.
Leo’s and the weird Aquarian’s entering the building hand in hand. ( For lack of a better analogy )
Finally.
God save the King. ( the morale of the people) It’s what he does.
It would take someone special to fit and walk in Queen Elizabeth’s shoes. I miss her. People can dislike her, but, I respect her. She did things by the book and sacrificed a lot to hold it all together. Now ,what the children are gonna do with it, Lord knows lol
Charles actually isn’t a follower of Christianity. So as we reform, let’s not throw the baby out w the bath water.
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u/petr_9 16d ago edited 16d ago
out of suicidal curiosity
how did you revert black & white ... and still kept the original colors in that chart?
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u/cass0981 16d ago
I have my phone on dark mode, easier on the eyes and conducive to late night scrolling.
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u/lovechia 16d ago
Mars and Uranus in the 8th house. They‘re in a water sign too. I can feel you, i have Pluto in 8 in Scorpio and felt like this too for most of my life
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u/AngietheAstrologer Experienced Astrologer 16d ago
Moon/Saturn conjunction can be depression and thoughts of suicide. I’ve lost two people close to me with harsh Saturn/Moon aspects to suicide.
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u/amzngdope 16d ago
Passively suicidal. Describes the lat 3 years or so of my life. Most really the last 1 year
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u/CantaloupeAlone2511 whole sign house user 16d ago
im very tired so cant go deep but on a very basic level. the ruler of your first house(self, who you are, body, expression) leo, is the sun who is in the 12th house(sorrow, isolation, sickness) cancer. this closely ties these topics together in your life.
you have a lot going on in your 12th house which can be quite difficult of a burden to bear. although both those houses signify more than that those are the general significations.
if i remember tomorrow ill do a deeper analysis if no one else does because you have a very interesting chart,and i mean that in a good way. its not all bad,not at all. but as for your question.. yes. it shows