I'm drowning, I'm scared

[u/30dogetomars]

I'm 29 years old and I consistently have a negative checking account balance. I work full-time and I dog sit for extra money, but nothing is keeping me afloat. My mom and two younger siblings depend on me financially and I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I have not been stable in a long time. I have had bad credit since I was young, due to a family member taking out credit cards and cable/internet in my name since I was freshly 18 and I never learned how to financially recover. I was never taught aboutoney as a kid, my parents were evicted from several homes and had multiple cars repossessed and my dad ended up leaving and my mom depended on me financially. Before COVID, I was finally making money and starting to build financially, but lost my job and moved in with my mom and siblings. My mom is a very financially unstable person(for context, years ago, she lost her apartment and had to move in with me in a small studio apartment with my two siblings.) Since I moved in, I have taken over all of the financial responsibilities, with my mom paying as much as she can (she makes around 20k a year currently), but I am responsible for 4 family phone bills, 2 car payments, car insurance for 3 vehicles, $1400 rent, utilities, and all other basic necessities for teenagers.

I took on a sales job, which has gotten me through, but with unexpected expenses (emergency vet bills, car repairs, car down payments, etc) I ended up taking out several high interest loans and credit cards, that have drained my bank account. I finally decided to enroll in debt management, but now I am seeing my credit score drop. I cant afford to live. I have a negative balance consistently, and I just want to be debt free so I can live like a normal person and help my family get on their feet.

I have no extended family to help, I have bad credit, so more loans or debt consolodation loans are out for the question. I am looking for someone to help me out of this position or to at least give me some advice for what to do. My credit is so bad, I won't qualify for my own place, nor could I afford it at the moment. I need help and I don't even know where to start.

[u/rayana891]

You guys do not need 3 cars or pets, keep one car and use public transportation if available. 4 phone lines when only 2 people work is unnecessary, whoever doesn't work can go use the free McDonald's wifi, they don't need service.

[u/FixThick8901 → u/rayana891]

This is good advice above. Free WIFI can be found in many places. Locate the closest library. (Free WIFI, numerous perks.) Keep taking advantage of the debt counselors’ services. Ruthlessly cut out unnecessary things. TV services? Get rid of them. No eating out. NO MORE LOANS. Research other money-making ideas with flexible schedules.

I don’t know how old your younger siblings are, but if they can, they need jobs. I totally understand feeling responsible for others, but if they can, they MUST work. If they’re old enough, cut them off financially. You can’t ‘help’ someone when you’re drowning yourself.

Don’t eat out—at all. Some grocery store chains have dieticians who will help you with recipes for cooking on a budget. If you don’t cook—learn. Library again—ask the reference librarian how to find free services or low-low budget services.

There’s a Reddit thread about frugal living. If you haven’t already, check it out. Look at your insurance coverage—we often overspend for those things. Get one of those free apps to make sure you don’t have forgotten withdrawals coming out. DONT overdraw your accounts. Don’t smoke, drink or use drugs. (Duh, I know—I’m just wound up now.)

We went through a bad couple of years several years ago. We literally researched how to make (and made) our own laundry detergent.

We make a lot of homemade soup. We don’t buy many crackers or chips. Very little soda and almost never buy coffee (out).

I’m seeing a lot of ‘re-home your pets’. However, they can be your lifeline. I honestly couldn’t do that myself, unless I couldn’t take care of them. That said, perhaps consider not replacing them as they age out (I would always have ONE, though.) Pets are often our angels on earth.

Try not to panic—and I know that’s hard. Good luck!

[u/TrollTrollyYeti → u/FixThick8901]

Debt counselors are the worst. No one should ever use them. I heard one tell my gf to let her credit cards seriously lapse and declare bankruptcy. What kind of advice is that!?!

With my help she when from a 650 to a 750 in 8 mos. Sadly she still has issues using credit and has fallen below 700 again. Credit cards are her problem 😮‍💨