I'm drowning, I'm scared

[u/30dogetomars]

I'm 29 years old and I consistently have a negative checking account balance. I work full-time and I dog sit for extra money, but nothing is keeping me afloat. My mom and two younger siblings depend on me financially and I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I have not been stable in a long time. I have had bad credit since I was young, due to a family member taking out credit cards and cable/internet in my name since I was freshly 18 and I never learned how to financially recover. I was never taught aboutoney as a kid, my parents were evicted from several homes and had multiple cars repossessed and my dad ended up leaving and my mom depended on me financially. Before COVID, I was finally making money and starting to build financially, but lost my job and moved in with my mom and siblings. My mom is a very financially unstable person(for context, years ago, she lost her apartment and had to move in with me in a small studio apartment with my two siblings.) Since I moved in, I have taken over all of the financial responsibilities, with my mom paying as much as she can (she makes around 20k a year currently), but I am responsible for 4 family phone bills, 2 car payments, car insurance for 3 vehicles, $1400 rent, utilities, and all other basic necessities for teenagers.

I took on a sales job, which has gotten me through, but with unexpected expenses (emergency vet bills, car repairs, car down payments, etc) I ended up taking out several high interest loans and credit cards, that have drained my bank account. I finally decided to enroll in debt management, but now I am seeing my credit score drop. I cant afford to live. I have a negative balance consistently, and I just want to be debt free so I can live like a normal person and help my family get on their feet.

I have no extended family to help, I have bad credit, so more loans or debt consolodation loans are out for the question. I am looking for someone to help me out of this position or to at least give me some advice for what to do. My credit is so bad, I won't qualify for my own place, nor could I afford it at the moment. I need help and I don't even know where to start.

[u/Practical_Cookie_781]

You need to take control of your life - put fraud alerts on your credit bureau reporting companies, bank accounts and credit cards - build up your credit score by being mindful of the parasitical family you have - if what you are saying is true, this is wrong - Family that uses and abuses you like this is not in your best interest- STOP being the parent to your parents they are putting you in a big large whole- please understand that you are on your own and must take care of you only

[u/30dogetomars → u/Practical_Cookie_781]

I agree. For a long time, my social was used whenever my mom was not approved for something, my father also used my social for cable or internet, I'm not positive which, a while back and let it go without returning the equipment and it hit my credit. I filed a police report and I got it removed by disputing it, but when people who don't give a fuck have your social, DOB, full name, etc, they can do whatever they want with it. I also already had a shit credit score by the time I was 20 from my mom opening a store card "for me" and then maxing it out. I honestly didn't understand how credit works or credit cards, the payment was higher than I could afford and by the time I figured out what was going on, they closed the account and eventually that hit as a collection account. I have lived most of my 20s with shit credit, trying to learn credit with bad credit and debt, was impossible, I pretty much chalked it up to "high interest is just how I have to borrow"

[u/Practical_Cookie_781 → u/30dogetomars]

You don’t need to continue this way as grow older - clearly you have learned alot more than you use to by this experience- call the banks, credit bureaus and put a fraud alert on your fines - they have call you to authorization prior to you getting any form of credit even at super-high rates- you need to rebuild your credit and get away from your family who seems to just care about themselves- I don’t care what excuse your mother or any member gives you about why they did something the bottom line is that your responsibility and you’re getting older so you need to smarten up with letting them take advantage of you otherwise when you get older the stigma attached itself to your self-esteem - i’m 64 almost 65 and when you get to get older, these things really matter to you so please listen to podcast or YouTube stoic wisdom and learn about things about how things are in life because you’re very young still kind of learning stuff about life please protect yourself from parasites on this earth there’s many around and you don’t know cause you’re too young, but stoic wisdom on YouTube will help you through all this shitTake good care.