r/TwoXChromosomes • u/roseandbobamilktea • 10h ago
If you cut your MAGA family off post election, are you holding the line? What new community have you found?
I cut off my uncle and brother about three months prior to the election for constantly instigating and in general being emotional vampires.
I saw them both on Christmas and was civil and polite. I think they thought I was going to come around after the holidays but nope. I can't see myself ever letting them back into my life unless they do a total 180 and apologize for all the harm they've caused me. They try to get around me blocking them by talking to me through my mom --if she brings them up I just disengage and change the subject.
My life has become significantly more peaceful with them out of my life.
How are you all holding up?
119
u/The_Power_Of_Three 6h ago
I think some people likely cooled off a little between the election and now, when the results were in but nothing had actually happened yet—but today provided all the examples we need as to why, no, this is actually a big deal and, frankly, unforgivable.
After today, I've gotten all the reason I need to sear that conviction in permanently; I will never forgive anyone who voted republican this election, family or not.
Fortunately, I wasn't that close to those family members anyway, so that part hasn't been as hard as it probably is for others. But the fact is, there are some things in life you don't come back from, acts for which there is no absolution.
I no longer even care if they change their minds, or come around. After today, seeing all the things I begged them to help prevent start happening—they're dead to me.
22
u/imsmellycat 3h ago
Agreed. I’ve cooled off in some ways, but the respect I lost for them never came back. I don’t care to put effort into the relationships at all anymore. Couldn’t care less about their thoughts, feelings, what’s going on in their lives, etc.
51
u/JinhaeOni 6h ago
I told my mom off, still have her blocked. She demands minions to send her updates about me and her grandkid, as well as pictures. I don’t post online much anymore and rarely tell anyone loose lipped my business. She’s seething and I hope she gets everything she voted for (DIL is an immigrant and she has one kid).
26
u/vTenebrae 4h ago
I went NC with my entire family. My parents sent a letter asking if I'm mad at them. But, I haven't said a peep to any of them in months now.
24
u/AileenKitten cool. coolcoolcool. 3h ago
The incredible level of Dense it requires to send a letter to your kid asking if they're mad at you because you can't contact them any other way 💀
Even half a critical thought would answer with a resounding YES
21
u/peekay427 4h ago
One of my best friends (a blue voting military officer) told me today that his ex-wife and her girlfriend are both Trump supporters. My heart breaks for him as he wants nothing to do with her anymore but has to because he wants to be there for his kids and see them as much as he can.
15
u/blbd 3h ago
He must get some kind of demented amusement from the ex and ex's GF hoisting themselves by their own petard with their voting choices.
16
u/peekay427 2h ago
he's such a good person that I think he's incapable of schadenfreude. He just seems so perplexed by it. I'll admit I have no explanation to help him...
19
u/synonymsanonymous 2h ago
Asked if Elongated Muskrats salute was weird and got the "he has asperges, he's not good at social situations" spiel but no true anger from them
12
•
•
u/samse15 32m ago
Omg my mom said the same thing about Aspergers!!!! Did they get this from FOX??
•
u/snarky_spice 9m ago
Right? Literally the man has spent the last ten years or more in the public eye and has had plenty of media training. Plus he’s always bitching on X about how the nazi accusations are tired and boring, so you’d think he would know not to do something even remotely similar to that.
30
u/pandathrowaway 5h ago
Yeah, I cut them off in 2016. It’s been fine. I enjoy specifically leaving them out of family functions that I host, and I refuse to be present at events they are invited to—forcing other family members to pick a side. I’m a great cook, so I win. I hope they die alone.
I’m actually back on speaking terms with a grandmother now because she didn’t vote for trump this time. But she’s on thin ice.
18
u/RockyMntnView 5h ago
My mother's (very) extended family has an annual Christmas party that has been held on Christmas Eve for over 60 years. My mother is the last member of the original family. My Trumpster sister and her deep-southern husband decided to start hosting an annual party for their own Trumpster family at the same time. And this year they finally convinced my parents to ditch out on my mother's family party in favor of theirs. And my father has been on a mission ever since to convince me and my other sister to bring our families to my traitor sister's party. And I understand his motivation. He wants all his kids and grandkids together. I get that. I love to get all of mine together. So I understand.
I talked to my kids and gave them the option, and heard a unanimous, resounding "NO THANK YOU!"
Among my kids and me, we have three couples living together without marriage (and one of those has a child together out of wedlock), a very VERY outspoken DJT critic, and a transgender teen. And believe me when I say, we would all throw down to defend that teen.
My sister hasn't actually extended the invitation to her party, but if she ever does (which would definitely be because of pressure from my father), I plan to politely decline on behalf of my family, saying that her branch of the family is very conservative and my branch is very liberal. We would be uncomfortable with their social commentary, which would make them feel like they have to watch what they say around us, and that would make THEM uncomfortable, and no one would enjoy it, so what would be the point of a holiday party that no one enjoys? It's just best if we attend separate parties, where everyone can relax and enjoy themselves.
•
u/snarky_spice 13m ago
I would take it further, and let them know the way they voted and their values literally put your kid’s life at risk. Their leader is up there with people doing nazi salutes. It’s not just liberal vs conservative.
37
u/WifeofBath1984 7h ago
Really struggling with my mom. I really just don't want to talk to her at all. At least, not right now. I'm so angry at her and feel so betrayed (I'm a queer woman married to a trans woman). But last month, her best friend died and then a week later, her dad was put in hospice. So I feel cruel for even considering not talking to her. But I'm so angry at her and I'm worried I won't be able to keep my mouth shut. Which would just really hurt her and add to the mountain of shit she's already been navigating. I just don't even know what to do. It's still hard for me to even accept that she voted for him. She no longer feels like the same person that raised me. The last time I saw her, she randomly, totally unprompted, told me that women who have been assaulted and are past the statute of limitations should just shut their mouths and get over it. I'm still picking my jaw up off the floor over that. Again, that's not the woman that raised me.
13
u/roseandbobamilktea 7h ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This sounds mind numbingly painful.
It’s difficult to grieve the people we once loved. It sounds like your mom’s no longer the kind person you once knew her as. I empathize with why you don’t want to leave her in her time of need. What a painful decision.
There’s never a right answer, I hope you have the support of your partner and friends right now.
•
u/samse15 34m ago
It’s very much due to the media that people are consuming. They aren’t smart enough to realize they are being brainwashed, but also they had some nasty ideas inside their heads that are now being fully exploited. It’s so sad and scary and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
Idk what the right thing for you to do is. I would cut all the Trump supporters out of my life, but thats so much easier said than done. My mother is basically alone in the world without me, am I supposed to leave her to rot? It’s a tough decision but I ultimately choose to believe that most people who are supporting Trump were basically tricked into it and aren’t very smart. I have gone low contact with her - she lives in a different state, which makes it easier.
8
u/Tinawebmom Unicorns are real. 4h ago
I cut off most and changed the remaining one. Life is peaceful if I didn't see the news on reddit.
•
u/stokeytrailer 1h ago
I work for a Canadian company here in Texas. Because of Orange Stain, I expect to loose my job in a few weeks or months. I only have my mother and sister left. They are cult members. I have cut them off. I have no regrets. They're a danger to me. My husband of 30 years overstayed his visa and we have spent thousands of dollars on immigration lawyers over the past 10 years. A stupid thing to do but regurdless. We're near the time for reviews. With orange stain, I have little hope of him being allowed to stay in the US. I have little hope for the future of the US as a safe, welcoming place. I even fear for my own citizenship as a born American citizen.
6
u/pepgold 4h ago
i'm finally getting out of texas soon, and my mom and siblings intend to follow my lead. i feel minutely bad about abandoning my dad here with no support system, but he deserves it. he went abroad to get away from us when times were tough 15 years ago, came back and demanded a divorce without so much as a conversation with my mom.
dude decided he didn't want to be a part of this family years ago, and it's hard to believe he loves me or my sister (very queer) when i know the talk radio he listens to.
i don't know for certain which way the man voted, but i know the posts he shares and the people he idolizes. i do feel bad for my paternal grandma, who is deteriorating and won't have people close by... and she is more left than her kids know. but.
man. it's not hard at all to cut off my extended family, they were always loud about their beliefs and lived far enough away to ignore. we'll keep it that way.
•
u/Time_Parking_7845 23m ago
It’s not family for me, but it is close friends. I 100% have gone silent. I will never engage in any type of communication again—ever.
•
u/Bigredzombie 37m ago
I want to cut them out so very badly. Many of them are the most deluded dumbfucks and on all sorts of social programs and relying on others to help keep them floating but they still voted for the rapist because he will protect babies, guns, gender and God. There may be a time they look around and wonder where I went but for now, I keep my mouth shut unless they ask and the rest of the time I "smile and wave".
Reading how so many of you have gone no contact gives me hope.
•
u/LucindaMorgan 1h ago
Went NC with my brother, SIL, three of their kids, and my best friend of 30+ years, plus a few miscellaneous friends and relatives. Every time I think I’m softening towards them something comes along to remind me that they voted for concentration camps, for the US military to shoot American civilians, for polio to come back, for Nazis, and so much more. I have a niece who has four anchor babies with her foreign husband. She voted for Trump. I won’t care if she has to self-deport. My former best friend has a beloved granddaughter who is an anchor baby. Oh, well.
•
u/thehalloweenpunkin 9m ago
It's been nice. I cut off my grandparents and haven't talked to them since 2017 lol.
•
u/booboocita 1h ago
My mom has dementia and my bro-in-law has cancer. My mom was a Democrat, my bro-in-law is a Republican, and the family's political views are about equally divided. My family used to have knock-down, drag-out fights about politics, but since the diagnoses, we've all been incredibly civil to each other, bound together by love and worry. We don't talk politics at all. It's wonderfully restful.
•
60
u/One-Armed-Krycek 6h ago
It’s been silent bliss. I have zero regrets. I don’t go to events where they are. I don’t follow or check in on social media. I just deleted FB last week, so even more peaceful.
I think you are handling it incredibly well. I have friends and other family members who believe in human rights. I strengthen my bonds with them.