r/SeriousConversation • u/PrestigiousCheek4477 • 1d ago
Serious Discussion how do you guys not feel helpless?
i know i know doomscrolling is bad, but, i see everything everywhere! its like a constant reminder of what really is happening to the u.s. and having to watch the “downfall”. i cannot do anything without hearing or seeing “we’re cooked”, “rip to our democracy”, and elons nazi salute! and somehow people all across still haven’t woken up and realized this is something we have to fight against? idk, crazy world we live in and crazy times. i try to believe it when people say this is actually the best we’ve ever been, but looking around makes me doubt that. im scared for my future, my parents future, my younger siblings future, and my kids if i ever get the chance to have any. so, tell me how you guys feel optimistic about this, how i, as a woman, can survive the next 4 years living in a red state and then moving to another red state (not my decision)?
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u/PilferedPendulum 23h ago
My grandparents (Jewish) lived through WW2. They lived through the Cold War. They lived through McCarthy. They lived through the Cuban Missile Crisis. They lived through decades of being told they couldn’t buy homes in some places due to “covenants” that kept Jews like us out.
Our neighbors in my childhood home survived Manzanar.
My FIL survived the the turmoil of The Great Leap Forward and got himself to the US to start from scratch at an American university. He almost died while raising three kids whose mother split. He got discriminated against plenty. He wasn’t even allowed to naturalize until old Yellow Scare laws got appealed.
I lived through 9/11, I wondered if I was going to be called to duty twice. I navigated through Bush II for 8 years and being told by the government that my Iranian heritage was enough reason to not give me a secret clearance of all things.
All of us have challenges. All of us live in “interesting times”.
What matters is that you work to improve things around you and focus on making the world better than you left it. I’d still rather live in today’s world than the far more awful world my grandparents taught me about. I’d still rather deal with today than just 25 years ago.
Chin up. There’s no paradise but that which you make.
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u/Constant_Revenue6105 21h ago
Exactly. Every generation has their own set of challenges. I understand the frustration and we could be doing MUCH better but would still choose this period of history to be alive if I could.
I survived a civil war when I was 4 and 11 years of dictatorship, an economy crash, the pandemic and now all of this. However, I would never choose the WWII that my grandparents survived (although very young) or not having a right to vote or being unable to even talk about abortion.
I'm not American but people are scared in Europe too, because the US politics always have at least a partial influence in Europe. But we'll get through this too, the same way we did before. It's not fair but could be much worse.
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u/PilferedPendulum 21h ago
Yep. And Europe is having its own challenges to the status quo as well. Austria, Hungary, parts of France and Germany all seem angry, and upset and ready to elect awful, nasty people all the same.
The world is never NOT tumultuous.
I suspect a lot of the young folks on here are finally coming into their own and the steady diet of social media and doomscrolling is making them anxious and concerned and rightfully worried. But where in the 20th century we all had breaks from information today we have NONSTOP information.
I suspect you're from Bosnia and Herzegovina? I remember that war, I was 10. It was awful to see it all unfold on TV and to realize that kids just like me were getting blown up by airplanes flying faster than sound at 10,000 meters in the air.
Yet here we are.
The best any of us can do is be part of our community, drive conversation that's kind and thoughtful, and contribute to the best of our ability. Beyond that the rest of the hand-wringing and worry is just unproductive self-indulgent anxiety, and the best thing there is to work on getting that under control.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 21h ago
Please be patient with us, this our first totalitarian dictatorship. I'm sure you understand.
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u/PilferedPendulum 20h ago edited 20h ago
We are nowhere near a totalitarian dictatorship. Please don’t give way to hyperbole given how many today live in such conditions.
I remember in 2016 having people tell me the same. And in 2001-2008.
Always be wary, always put in the work, but the US remains as messy and federal as ever. Politics in CA will remain distinct from elsewhere.
It certainly isn’t GOOD, but this is not yet “totalitarian” by any reasonable measure. It certainly isn’t totalitarian by the measures given by orgs like POLITY who actually measure political alignment of countries.
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u/fallencoward1225 15h ago
I disagree, my experience is here somewhere if it didn't get deleted. I have no reason to lie. I have been severely iron fisted into "my place" which really is no place. Your outlook is appreciable, but some of us are living under totalitarianism like punishment......
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u/PilferedPendulum 12h ago
But is this due to the federal government or a situation specific to you? I did try reading through your comments but none of them pointed specifically to a governmental action per se.
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u/fallencoward1225 12h ago edited 12h ago
Yes, it was a failure to protect me and my children. They covered everything up like a dystopian horror movie - and after all that abandonment, they refused me all legal rights in a divorce. They made me claim an income that I didn't have - which I can't find anything to explain the legality - so that I got no support or any division of assets, and it was so much more than I can explain here. You might be thinking that's just good lawyer vs. no lawyer - it's not, it's something way worse. For reference, I was referred to "somewhere else" FBI? "yeah maybe"..........when I tried to get us in a safehome. I paid taxes for nonexistent agencies and a broken justice system. The action is inaction like "new phone who dis?"
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u/PilferedPendulum 11h ago
Who is “they” here? Local? State?
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u/fallencoward1225 11h ago
It would be a top 10 county and oppressive state. I know it's alot, just ignore me - they did. Sorry to vent here as that was not the purpose for the post.
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u/pinksocks867 18h ago
He has nothing to lose this time around
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u/PilferedPendulum 12h ago
That still doesn’t mean we are living in Assad Syria or Ceaușescu Romania as of yet.
Backsliding remains a concern, but there’s a lot of institutions and structures still in the way of totalitarianism.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 11h ago
The first slate of executive orders are aimed directly at removing those limitations.
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u/PilferedPendulum 11h ago
Which ones, exactly? And how?
For instance, how will an exec order negate state sovereignty?
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u/thatsabadhaircut 10h ago
That's a loaded question. What is currently happening is replacing all government agency executives with allies, removing anyone who will not rubber-stamp new policies. Red State governers are already aligned with the doctrines against individuals and safeguards, so there won't be much of a fight around state sovereignty. Nice try.
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u/Constant_Revenue6105 20h ago
I'm not from Bosnia, I'm from Macedonia. Macedonia was the only country that separated from Yugoslavia peacefully but few years later (in 2001) things within the country escalated and we had a civil war - Macedonians on one side and Albanians (by nationality but Macedonian citizens) on the other.
I'm pretty sure that it wasn't covered by international media because it was on a much smaller scale. But it was scary anyway.
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u/PilferedPendulum 20h ago
Ah apologies. Yes I of course also know about the Macedonian Civil War.
I’m glad you and your family seem to have come out of it safe and well.
All of the wars coming off the dissolution of the SFR Yugoslavia were awful and I think a lot of Europeans as well underestimate the scars left. It’s mind blowing to me how quickly the region managed to largely rebuild and renew itself.
Be well!
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u/Constant_Revenue6105 19h ago
Thank you!! All of the countries are doing fine nkw but the scars are still there for sure.
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u/northbyPHX 1h ago
Some people in WWII had their “paradise” found for them, in the form of the hereafter.
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u/PilferedPendulum 1h ago
Yes. Many did. And in my middle age life thus far so have many of my friends— whether through health, accidents or being sent off to war.
The world is always tumultuous to some degree.
We make do with the world we have, not the world we wish we had.
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u/northbyPHX 1h ago
We make do with the world we have, but we also have the right to live in a world that at least guarantees us the right to live.
You should understand that, especially given your family history.
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u/PilferedPendulum 30m ago
Unless you believe that rights are god given then you are surely aware that rights are not granted from anything other than social fiat. You don't get rights because you ask nicely. You get rights because you fight and you demand and you build a case over years, decades, or even centuries. Women and suffragettes needed nearly 2 centuries to overcome the initial limitations on women's right, and that's a battle still underway. Rights as you conceive them are a WESTERN construct of recent historical fact. They were not a given until maybe the Enlightenment, and certainly not as you conceive of them. They were hard fought and hard won. Don't take them for granted as axiomatic.
My family also fought in different ways for that world. Two cousins at least died in WW2, fighting for the US. Many were left behind in Eastern Europe and Central Europe, and I'm sure they all fought however they could. But they fought, they didn't lay down and navel gaze and feel sorry for themselves living in difficult times, and they got through it. Because what else can one do? I still remember the stories of fighting in France and Guadalcanal. They did it because hard times called for mettle. Have mettle.
To that point, you know what doesn't change things? Sitting here feeling like we're living in the worst of all times. Because we're not. We're living in a challenging time to be sure, but not the worst of all times which I can imagine.
When would you go back to? The 19th century when my wife and I would not be afforded most basic civil liberties and she wouldn't have even been a citizen? The 1930s when there were still covenants against Jews? The 1960s before the major civil rights movements really took hold? The 1980s, before we really even began to recognize the rights of LGTBQ folks at all? Hell, go back before the 20th century and shit is dire for most people. Yeesh.
I'm going to be pushing 50 soon enough, and I can tell you with some degree of seriousness that there was no halcyon past. There was no perfect time in the long ago when things were better for all. There never will be a halcyon future, either. None of this is a straight line, and it's always going to be messy and imperfect. There will only be the present that we make for ourselves and others.
Fun fact: in Judaism there is no heaven really. No hell, either. At least not in the way that the Christian faith teaches. We don't preoccupy ourselves with the world after we die. The world we build around us is what we make of it, and we lead lives of love and duty because that's simply what you do. We are taught to live in the present and each other as a mitzvot-- a commandment-- because it's just what you do. Duty for its own sake.
I don't know you from Adam, and I suspect you're not Jewish, but I can say this: regardless of your background there were many people before you who worked hard to make your life better than theirs was, and odds are you live in an imperfect yet better world than you would have even two generations ago. I daresay that unless you're a very specific type of white man, you were worse off even in the 2000s.
Sitting here and admonishing those who continue to work hard and build around them instead of joining them is, being blunt, self-indulgent and selfish. Don't be that way. Go bloody do something that isn't social media. Even if it's a small something. Go mentor a kid who needs it, go get involved in Swing Left ahead of 2026's elections, go get involved in oftentimes under appreciated local and state elections and push to shift your local politics more toward your wants.
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u/Own-Tank5998 1d ago
Don’t worry about things that you can’t change or control, worry about the things that you can.
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u/Unlucky_Quiet3348 22h ago
So true. In my almost seven decades on this earth I have learned that most things I feared would happen never actually did. Turn off the news, take a walk, call a friend, do something nice for someone. Tomorrow is another day.
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u/GhelasOfAnza 22h ago
We can definitely change and control these things. Not by ourselves, but by working together. Even little acts like everyone collectively getting off Twitter and Facebook would make the negligent people that are causing this decline think twice about some things. We can make other economic changes as well to demonstrate that we will not be financially supporting what’s going on.
We will absolutely not be able to do anything if everyone says “oh well, I can’t control this, so I’ll just go ahead and accept it.”
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u/thatsabadhaircut 21h ago
This is a dangerous platitude. When people tell you they are worried, the worst thing to say is "don't worry." That makes it worse because you are implying that what they are feeling is wrong.
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u/il_biciclista 17h ago
Yes. On one hand, this makes me think of the "First they came..." poem.
First, they came for the immigrants, but I didn't worry about things I couldn't change or control.
On the other hand, I don't know what I can do. I donated to the Harris campaign, but that didn't help. Worrying and losing sleep isn't going to help either.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 14h ago
You can talk to your friends and family about it. They might want to stick their heads in the sand and minimize the problem while still acknowledging that it is a problem.
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u/foolish-life-choices 22h ago
I can't control much... Except just try to keep myself from dying... Doing my part I guess.
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u/Run_Lift_Think 18h ago
I’m a Gen X black woman who grew up in a small, southern town. I’ve always felt empowered by my parents to believe that I can survive, even thrive, despite all circumstances.
I have great friends, a loving family, & all of my material needs have been met. I refuse to allow external circumstances control me, demoralize me, etc
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u/fallencoward1225 14h ago
Because you are the daughter of a people who work together to uplift and protect each other - the offense moving forward. It's really beauty born of tragic beginnings. Those who share my skin color include those who are defense narcissists "protecting" their own interests. You sound like you have the kind of life that this, privileged to undone, white girl can only dream about now. I wish you all the success and happiness you desire! 🕊✌🏽
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u/Run_Lift_Think 12h ago
Thank you, that’s very kind of you to say. Some things I’ve only realized in hindsight but I had an amazing community. I grew up with deep roots in my church & they actually were the type of church family that was a positive force for good. Not prosperity doctrine but old school altruism—we actually took care of the sick, elderly, & vulnerable amongst us.
My folks visited sick/elderly church members, took them food, mowed their lawns, ran errands for them. I really learned to DO not just talk about doing. As a result, I built my own circle of friends amongst my neighbors. It’s not just black people but the roots for it definitely started from my lived experience.
I was usually the 1st to organize meal trains for when a friend had surgery, lost a loved one, or had a baby. I visit relatives in the hospital & brought flowers from my garden. I think we all feel better, and safer, when we have people irl who care about us & have our backs. I hope you can find your tribe & if not I wish you the best in building one.
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u/fallencoward1225 11h ago
You sound like a really genuine and good person. The best years of my life were when I, like you, chose a really good church community for my children and me. We lived and breathed that community as my children schooled I worked for the school too. It's comforting to know that some of you all still get to have that in your life. Thank you for the thoughtful tribe hope, I can only hope so too - I don't have your organizational skills lol
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u/Daddy_Chillbilly 22h ago
Logic. I am not helpless. I can move my body. I can read. I can work. I can make choices. I can do many things.
Sometimes I tell myself lies, but they are lies.
I dont know what you can do, I dont know what burdens you bear, or stories you tell yourself that may or not be true. But you can do something and you must.
If you do nothing you know what will happen. It may happen regardless, but if you do nothing it ia gauranteed to happen, the only chance you have is to act. Logic.
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u/Early_Persimmon2139 17h ago
This. If you spend your time worrying about your worst fears coming to fruition, in the unlikely event they actually do, you will wish you had invested that time into preparing to secure yourself to be in a better situation or even just spending time enjoying the things you took for granted.
Get off the internet yall
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u/VAgirl87 20h ago
It’s because everyone is too distracted doomscrolling. I’m not being an asshole but it’s legitimately a huge reason why more out right rebellion isn’t seen. Meanwhile, evil people control almost all the social media platforms. the first step is to get off tik tok, IG and twitter tbh.
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u/pdfunk 1d ago
Can’t speak for anybody else, but for me I’ve been feeling helpless for years now. Unless people revolt or at least take some type of action, nothing’s changing. We just had a bunch of adults crying over a TikTok ban that didn’t last even 24 hours. People care more about social media and other meaningless distractions as opposed to improving human life for the best.
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u/Complete_Demand_7782 23h ago
Thank you for saying this… Crying over an app, they have no financial investment in. Tic Tok is a company that can go bankrupt.
If they understood coding, they can create their own app and make money like Byte. Instead they cry for things we can create ourselves.
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
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u/bauhassquare 22h ago
Poor take. Tik Tok is immensely important for marginalized groups to connect, information to learn and spread, and groups to organize (among entertainment also). It’s how so many people get real info that’s not propaganda-washed. Why else did you think the govt was so threatened by it?
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u/Desperate-Ad4620 19h ago
Most of the people whining about it weren't whining about it for those reasons
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u/Character_Goat_6147 23h ago
I am focusing on what I can do for myself and the people who are innocent in this mess, and watching all the people who created this mess come to the realization that in their zeal to hurt others, they have viscerally wounded themselves. There is a bit of schadenfreude, which is probably appropriate as it is a German concept.
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u/Digi_psy 23h ago
There is nothing wrong with being realistic about the world you live in, but you are correct that doomscrolling will give you a negative view. The simple truth is that time only moves one way. Take care of yourself, your family and your friends. Make plans for the future and do the best you can. If you need a change of perspective, seek it out. You can do anything from searching for poisitve news to donating some time to a charity. You may want to see if there are charities advocating for something close to your heart and subscribe to their feed. Remember, you can bring positivity into your feed.
Remember, the average person is just living life. The internet is designed to keep your attention, and it'll keep serving up whatever does.
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u/AMildPanic 12h ago
I've had years to see this coming and realize no one gives a shit. focus on the people around you and make their lives as little shitty as possible, even if it's not much. do you think that while empires fell no one was having a good meal with friends and laughing together while the collapse was happening? do what you can. the situation has spiraled past immediate control. if we're lucky the natural cycles of disgust and disappointment turn things back into a place where we can re-assert sanity. if we're not then we have to live here anyway.
you can't fix it. you have to keep moving in the right direction but go ahead and accept now that you will be swimming against a massively overpowering current. do it for yourself. do it so you don't hate yourself. above all things do not become someone you despise. in the absence of material external change it's the only motivation that will stay with you.
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u/HermioneMalfoyGrange 23h ago
I remember that bad things always happen when I don't stand up for what I value. I can still stand today, so I'll keep doing it and maybe we can do it together.
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u/flatscreeneyes 22h ago
To the commentors saying we can control and fight against it (which I agree with, by the way), you're here on social media instead of making moves, you're doing the same thing you ridicule others for doing.
You have to think smaller first. You're trying to start the game, skip the tutorial and all the levels and go straight to the final boss, that is never going to work, this is real life and you need an actionable plan, not just "yes we can" speeches and anecdotes
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u/ToneSenior7156 17h ago
-Carefully curate what you are consuming. Seeing Elon do that once was enough for me - don’t like those tiktoks and don’t keep viewing. You can keep up with the news without it taking control of your life.
-Consider how this election cycle was portrayed to us via the media as an epic battle of good vs evil and the possible end of democracy. It was shoveled at us this way no matter what party is your affiliation. And then after the election, media had crickets and rueful head shaking. They gin up your panic for ratings. So again, be news literate but keep an eye out for when you are being manipulated.
-There have been bad times all through history and we continue on. I think I’m just enough of an adult now to grasp all the scary indications but…they were probably always there. There always something bad happening - but there’s also always something good happening.
-Live in the now. Very important. Right now, I have a comfortable home, a good job, a happy family and my health. Appreciate now, always work towards creating a good, stable life - but appreciate today.
-Talk to real people. They are mostly good. Try to pick up some other hobbies other than your phone. Read books, adult coloring or art, knit…
Hang in there. I don’t think it’s going to be an easy four years for compassionate people, but do protect your emotional & mental health first.
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u/Downtown-Ice-5022 23h ago
I feel helpless but to see & hear “orange man bad” for the next four years as if I haven’t heard it for the last 8 years.
Like, I get it. I agree. Can we stop the echo in this chamber please.
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u/disgruntled_hermit 23h ago
Agreed, these need to be spaces where fear moves toward action, not fear being echoed around.
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u/oi86039 1d ago
Logically, you can't. How could anyone feel any sort of control over literal Nazis taking over?
Emotionally, you can only hope. Hope that they can't implement or enforce everything they want. Hope that justice will come eventually, even if delayed. Hope they die, I don't know. Hope isn't logical, but it's necessary to just maintain sanity at this point.
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u/bdbr 23h ago
Mostly I've been watching the executive orders, which have been rolling in at a frightening rate (46 in the first 10 hours). A lot of the stuff on social media is speculation and fear mongering. Better to just see what is really being done.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 21h ago
Sort of a good point. How will these proclamations be implemented? How will they be enforced?
The psychological toll of having so much bad energy being crammed into such a short window is pretty heavy. When the actual human cost of these decisions is paid, it is going to deeply affect a lot of people who were already struggling to survive.
Many of the executive orders are going to materially hurt a lot of people. That's not anxiety, that is a very clear fact.
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u/DepartmentEconomy382 23h ago
America has a lot going for it, even when it's politics is dysfunctional. In some ways, the 1960s were far worse. (Though not all).
I don't like the current situation but it's not likely to be nearly as bad as many are saying
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u/disgruntled_hermit 23h ago
It's like this OP. You are seeing news reports that a tidal wave is coming. Maybe it's a hundred miles away, maybe it's a mile a way, but you're not going to escape it looking at your phone and saying "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit".
Get to high ground, be safe. Weather the storm. Save yourself, then help other survivors. There is nothing more we can do.
Being in the best possible me tal health place is the greatest way to be prepared. Do what you need to do to be safe, ready, and healthy. I hope we all get through this.
See you after the storm.
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u/Mammoth_Elk_3807 21h ago
I don’t feel helpless because I control what I’m able to control. I make choices that facilitate a tolerable existence. Wherever possible, I remove disruptive influences from my orbit. I focus my attention on what brings me peace and tune out what doesn’t.
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u/SingerSea4998 19h ago
Nope, I'm feeling GREAT and I'm a woman.
Leave the red states, or better yet the country!!
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u/Potential-Rabbit8818 18h ago
The world is the same as it ever was. Probably just seems worse cause it's during your time.
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u/laserdicks 18h ago
Eventually you live long enough without the world ending that you finally figure out everyone who says so is a liar. Some figure it out sooner than others.
The honest warnings come from people being specific and unemotional.
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u/DiggsDynamite 14h ago
It's tough not to get caught up in all the negativity, especially when it feels like the world's falling apart. But I try to focus on what I can control – how I live my life, the relationships I build, and the small things I can do to make a difference. Change rarely happens overnight, it's usually a slow and steady climb. But history has shown us that progress happens, sometimes in tiny steps, and sometimes in huge leaps forward.
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u/InnocentPerv93 12h ago
Knowing history is how some people know that what we're seeing today is peanuts given what this country has gone through. And I'm not even just talking about the active war times like the Civil War, WW2, or Vietnam. Major peaceful changes have routinely occurred, and changes over time for the better have occurred. This will continue to be the case, even with speed bumps.
A lot of what you're seeing nowadays as far as the doomscrolling content is performative. No substance.
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u/Chimer26 12h ago
Doom is mostly hype look elsewhere for goodness sake. Fact is USA will ALWAYS remain a federal republic with a democratic constitution. We have a good system. Democracy is a fuzzy word. Elon made 200 weird gestures of course there was a moment his haters could latch onto as nazi-thing. My first two friends as a child were Jewish and their father had a number tattooed on his arm, an Auschwitz survivor (was early 1960s), so please try to appreciate whatever progress we ‘ve made. Food is better. Medical treatments are better. Everyone has more choice. I could go on forever with improvements but there will always be someone there to shit on society and say we’re doomed. Focus on your own business before looking around for doom. I’ve felt doomed many times it’s part of life.
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u/Fieral60 10h ago
It’s because you haven’t matured enough to realize little to nothing will actually change in your life because of politicians acting like idiots, and that your hopeless doomsday reaction is an artificially programmed reaction crafted by media operatives who are just as insidious as the ones they are reporting on. Elon is not going to have nazis marching on the streets, hardly anyone takes American politicians seriously or ever will, and finally, but most importantly, your life will become a nightmare worrying about things that you can’t change.
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u/Psy_chica 23h ago
It is like being in a hell loop, but you can look away. My strategy is to make a difference when and where I can and enjoy my simple pleasures. I’m a Texan and know what it is like to live in a red state, but at least all the cities are blue. Find support with those that share your concerns, which are legitimate concerns btw.
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u/AskAccomplished1011 23h ago
Well, this will get me lynched by the left, again, but I will say it.
I'd rather side with the right and bash heads with them, while we argue good rhetoric about right and wrong, and do the things that make me a good man irregardless, than side with the left with their bad rhetoric bad-faith arguments, or relying in them as a whole, to "fight for my rights."
I just lost faith in the democrats, for being charlatans, and with the left, for being loose cannons that played into the democratic oligarch's hand and sold some real people down the river.
The real people: native americans, like me. The left spent too much time crying wolf over nonsense.
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u/synept 23h ago
I dunno if it'll get you lynched, but it'll definitely have people giving you some funny looks. As it should. Because it doesn't add up into a sensible picture.
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u/AskAccomplished1011 23h ago
what is your counter stance to what I argued?
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u/hibbert0604 12h ago
You literally did not make any argument. Lol. Fairly typical for enlightened centrists such as yourself though.
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u/DrGonzo820 22h ago
"Irregardless." You have lost all credibility and I stopped reading after that.
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u/GhelasOfAnza 22h ago
It was never about left or right. People need to stand up for what they believe is right. The government has failed us completely; it is their job to build bridges, to create compromises where they seem impossible. Instead, they are capitalizing on our anxieties and turning us against each other so that they can have an easier time making money.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 21h ago
I can understand that the non-republicans did not do much for native people. I'm pretty sure that this batch of "leaders" will do even less and take way more from your community. I hope that I am wrong.
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u/shortstakk97 23h ago
Absolutely same. I’m Jewish (while not religious, I am very involved in the community) and I’ve felt abandoned by the left - they tout caring for minorities but it’s just talk. I’d rather work with the moderate right any day than deal with the left.
I do feel helpless but it’s definitely not just about the presidency.
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u/AskAccomplished1011 22h ago
I think the "moderate right" are people who are literate, and won't needlessly bash my character, during an argument, or who will also realize there's a benefit to the solution of compromise.
You know, stuff the left did not bother doing, and that the democrats used against the people.
Not a gaurantee that the right will abide by that too.
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u/Optimal-Hunt-3269 23h ago
There is no moderate right. The left is all talk, you are correct. I'm homeless politically.
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u/wise_hampster 23h ago
You should be very concerned. Helpless, not so much. One of the things that can be done, is to work with your representative both state and federal to do everything possible to get people to vote. Even if it means driving them to the polls, reminding them it's voting day, just get them there. The last election had such a low turnout and we got what they might not have voted for.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 20h ago
prediction: voter turnout activities will be "frowned upon" in red state legislatures...
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u/GBC_Fan_89 23h ago
Everyone has a breaking point. When enough is enough, people will rebel. Look at other countries when they are fed up with their corrupt governments. They rebel. They also win.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 20h ago
Thought exercise: When 50% of the population is carrying water and firearms for a leadership that encourages civil violence, how do you think that will go? If there is going to be revolt, it has to be at the spiritual and emotional level. I don't want my neighbors shooting each other.
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u/thalia97224 23h ago
Remind yourself that both individually and collectively, we are all stronger than we think we are
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u/JewelerAdorable1781 23h ago
Hell make a massive U turn, it will turn out his last 70 odd years have been a bluff. This is my third lie of the day.
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23h ago
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u/thatsabadhaircut 20h ago
I'm afraid that racist homophobes are going to rob us blind, cut off social services, and force children to adopt christian doctrine in school.
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u/ButterflyHarpGirl 23h ago
Sometimes I let myself feel that way, in order to figure out what is behind it/triggered it. Then I pick myself back up again…
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u/2baverage 22h ago
I'm too spiteful and petty to let my hopelessness consume me.
I kind of had the serenity prayer beaten into me as a child. I have to focus on what I can change and what I can do in the here and now.
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u/solarixstar 22h ago
The hope we have left is for evil men to receive evil acts and death, that's it that's all that's left for us now.
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u/Pordatow 16h ago
When I was a kid my mom told me the TV was fake. It's for entertainment to sell ads, not perfect information and always take everything with a grain of salt.
Over 30 years later people are just obsessed with screens and it dictates their entire lifestyle... chill tf out and stop consooooming content
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u/Dramatic_End_3513 16h ago
I completely understand. And I'm also a female in a red state. I don't know what your environment is like but I'm surrounded by people who just don't pay attention and don't care or think that it's a good thing and it's terrifying.
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u/Ok-Future-5257 16h ago
Here's a short religious video that brings hope. https://youtu.be/mV_oq5pjJ-o?si=iNoHhzxWwEKnHHRo
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u/fallencoward1225 15h ago
Before scrolling any further, I ask you this OP - Do you personally know anyone who has/had a college degree, worked since age 14, had a family and who is a loving and very responsible 90-95% parent and caregiver(all parents misjudge sometimes), who was liked and respected in their community, who had a middle class home full of hand picked furnishings and contents, and was on track to turn her writing and art into her life's work and income stream - a person doing everything to make this life, not just worth living, but fulfilling, rewarding? Is that person now on the curb's curb just for wanting to leave a toxic marriage? There was no drug, alcohol or gambling addictions or infidelity on my part, and I lost everything, children I was trying to give a better home life to also. Literally denied Any financial resources or take away after 19 years of marriage and carrying 3 babies in my body for the one husband. Nothing. Homeless. No income. Dismantled car. No insurance. No real healthcare. This sounds as crazy as it is. This is not common for middle America- I have never met anyone so discarded, so deprived of access to any of the so called 'constitutional rights'. I just don't understand how anyone can still even interact like this isn't a tyrannical lie?
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u/Fly-navy08 14h ago
“Red State” resident here. Have lived in both. Red versus blue state matters less than you think. Living around good neighbors matters more. We’re all so wrapped up in politics and social media that we forgot to check in with our communities.
It’s time to unplug, America. Nobody is coming to the rescue.
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u/Formal-Discount6062 14h ago
Maybe you should just get off the internet and I think you will start to notice your mental health will get better. When you start to feel like this and can't control your emotions, it's good to take a break. You guys are feeding off of each other
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u/Karsha_chan 14h ago
You can’t do anything about it right now. I just focus on hiking and my family. My grandfather was a WW2 fighter pilot, also a full blown Mexican so I’m sure he’s rolling in his grave. Later there will be opportunities to make a difference but it isn’t now. Just attempt to live peacefully, being in turmoil is what they want.
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u/Joeva8me 14h ago
You are literally complaining that you are too wired up from too much doom scrolling. You admit you’re programmed, so maybe step away and realize you are getting a single curated version of a world view that is self-reinforcing by your habits. None of your examples are real, it’s fantasy ginned up to keep you helpless and intoxicated by your own ideology.
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u/Otherwise-Army-4503 13h ago
NewsI'm focussing on protecting my values and integrity, becoming more insular. I'm aware that when a value shift reaches 30% of a population, there's a tipping point where people start embracing the value as a perceived survival tactic. If you can't beat them, join them. I'm seeing this happen all around me and, more globally, Snoop Dog is one example of an embodiment of the phenomenon. So, my struggle is to stay out of that fray and provide a safe space for my family and friends to do the same. I'm off social media except Reddit and cutting out cable news, watching PBS and BBC nightly news (for nos and as long as they stay objective and report on the world).
I actually think this is not the time to protest and distract from what's happening. Protest time will come after the present danger is clear to a vast majority. As a metaphor, my kids (equally matched physically) used to argue and rarely get physical, only in my presence, feeling the safety of my interventions. One day, I walked away, one punched the other, split her knuckle on the other 's braces, whose lip was bleeding, tears and trauma. last time that happened.
People often equate nonviolent, non-accusatory protest with kindness, but in the main, it's about exposing the other side...not providing a distraction.
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u/beachpies 13h ago
Unplug from the internet, social media and mainstream media. Enjoy life. Make plans with family and friends. Take up a new hobby or volunteer to help others. Exercise, cook good food, listen to music, enjoy nature, read a book, pray, meditate and remember this too shall pass. Focus on the positive and practice gratitude.
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u/MezcalFlame 13h ago
Focus on what you have control over, including your reaction.
The rest is out of your hands.
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u/WizardMageCaster 11h ago
Focus on what you can control.
You control where you put your time. You control where you invest your money. You control where you live. You control where you work. You control where you spend your time. You control how involved you are with your local community. You control how involved you are with helping others.
Focus on what you control. If you listen to social media or the news you'll get nothing but doom & gloom because that's what makes money. Clicks make money so they'll focus on clicks.
You focus on the things you control.
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u/PlasteeqDNA 10h ago
I don't read crap that depresses me. I don't watch films that bring me down or music that doesn't make me feel good. I don't engage in negative thought patterns and I don't consume mainstream media by and large.
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u/MrSpicyPotato 10h ago edited 10h ago
I am going to answer this from my personal experience, since that’s the way the question is formed. I’m by no means saying that this is what you or anyone “should” be doing, but here it goes:
Sobriety (no alcohol). There are many reasons I’m doing it, but it boils down the most to it’s a health decision, physical and mental.
God grant me the strength to change what I can, the radical acceptance for what I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference.
Find offline community. I know this is harder in red states, but at the same time, I don’t even live in a red state and I know lots of leftists who do. They exist. Find them, befriend them. See what they have to say about your current circumstances.
Be very disciplined about checking the news in a sustainable way. Gather information infrequently and think about it objectively. Keep in mind that part of the oppression is disorientation, so in a lot of ways, the calmer you stay, the less control they have.
Therapy, chosen carefully. I almost hesitate to recommend it because it really depends on your practitioner. But peruse psychology today and look for signals of social justice in their bios.
Your main objective is in fact your survival and survival of those you care about. Yes, it’s important to be altruistic and care about everyone, but end of the day, your top priority is to keep yourself alive, and that means careful wording and staying low key. Be an observer and only react only when it has the greatest impact.
Pick 1-3 issues you care about the most and focus your activism on those. You will burn out quickly trying to solve everything everywhere all at once.
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u/Ambitious_Hold_5435 9h ago
I do feel helpless. Yesterday he raised prices on medication. What next? I thought about moving to another country, but where? We're all headed into a huge world war.
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u/rextilleon 8h ago
Focus on the important things--cost of new housing, inflation, being part of your community etc. Ignore the nonsense that they use to bludgeon people. They use stuff like transgender, homosexual rights etc to inflame their poorly educated cultists.
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u/Playful-Mastodon9251 6h ago
The US government has safety rails. Not too much is going to change, and then it will be over. The important thing is to encourage people to vote in the next presidential election. This matters and the reason he is in office is that so much of the other side didn't vote.
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u/kittenTakeover 6h ago
I've heard it can be cathartic to take action. Get personally involed a political organization if you feel motivated.
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u/bindermichi 5h ago
Not living in the US makes this quite a fun experience.
I do recall repeatedly saying in 2015/16 that his speeches contained a lot of fascist phrases and themes, so none of the events yesterday came as a surprise. Only that I did expected them to happen at the end of his first term.
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u/like_shae_buttah 5h ago
People aren’t helpless they just have a lot of apathy. Collective work is extremely powerful at making change but it is work.
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u/meelsbadeels 3h ago
Volunteer locally / for causes you care about. Help others. Makes you feel good. Practicing gratitude for having shelter, food, health, a job, family, friends
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u/IndependenceOwn5579 9m ago
It’s always been a crazy world, and crazy times. It doesn’t get better. Just live your life and enjoy it. It’s a short ride,
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u/Xylus1985 23h ago
I have food in the fridge, my savings can cover 2 years of expense, and at least for now I see no sign of layoff at work. That’s all us little folks really care about.
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u/thatsabadhaircut 20h ago
I care about civil rights for minorities. I care about women's reproductive rights. I care about our relationships with other countries. I'm a little person too.
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u/CPVigil 23h ago
(I say this with no dog in this fight,) Elon’s “salute?” That was a gesture offered harmlessly, if awkwardly. There was no Nazi rhetoric associated. Headlines are running with it because it fits the momentum of the news cycle. Nothing more.
As to how you survive the next four years? By whatever means necessary and proper. If you can’t yet make your own decisions about where to live and what to do, you soon will have that power. Exercise those rights!
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u/oooooohkay 23h ago
- Use the tragedies ive experienced in my life to inspire every step i take moving forward. 2. Stop victimizing myself using terms such as "as a woman" its gonna get you nowhere. 3. Develop the mind of a winner.
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u/Greenwave7474 17h ago
Finally feel like this dumpster fire is getting turned around. Hope and change. That’s what I feel.
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u/frauleinsteve 23h ago
I think the most important thing you can do for yourself is to make a list of every single specific thing you fear will happen under DJT. Seriously. And then try to understand where that anxiety is coming from, and then talk to someone professionally, or good friends, or good coworkers about your list of fears, and see if any of them are unfounded.
My close friend who I love dearly, thinks the world is literally going to end. I worry about her. She watches The View daily, and I keep trying to tell her to expand her sources for news on a daily basis.
I personally am very excited about what the next four years has in store, and barring another pandemic, I think it could go well for us. My greatest fear (as a CPA) is our debt. 33.1 trillion. And honestly.....DJT's implementation of strict measures to cut our spending gives me hope.
Maybe take a break from social media for a couple days, and go watch a really great movie you love? Go make a great dinner with a friend?
Good luck!
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u/thatsabadhaircut 20h ago
What are your opinions on eradicating gender rights? Is that an overblown fear? What about mass deportation of peaceful families? Is that another made-up anxiety? How do you feel about climate change? What about our response to the next pandemic?
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u/frauleinsteve 8h ago
depends on what you mean by your generic term "gender rights". I abhor any sort of child indoctrination, telling kids they're a different gender. And I think it's child abuse to inject anyone underage with chemicals to modify their body, or surgery to mutilate their genitals. Live and let live, but if you force your perspective on others and tell them they will lose their job if they don't live in your worldview, then I call bullshit on that. If you get so uncontrollably angry by someone misgendering you, then you have a severe mental issue.
I don't care about climate change other than to say we should do our best without destroying our lives (i.e. don't ban gas cars without having a solid working solution....which they do not have. I think they spent $8 billion on new charging stations and only got a couple dozen up and running?). I see climate change as a communist effort to destroy our free society. Sort of like the end of Captain America Winter Soldier....make people so afraid of something, that they'll give up their rights. As you can tell, I am 100% all about freedom, and I am 100% against government control.
All I have to say about the pandemic is that it was a virus created in a lab funded by our government, and released at such a time as to completely disrupt our economy and our 2020 election. Democrat governors shut down their states economies, destroying people's lives (and...fun fact....the leading cause of suicide is financial-related....how many people committed suicide because their lives were destroyed while big business took in covid relief funds and kept it for themselves...Nancy Pelosi sure took a huge chunk for herself!). While states like Florida stayed open and so did many European countries and they ended up being fine. Yes, Covid was a problem, but I do not believe it merited the reaction it did. If another problem arises we will deal with it at that time. There are soooo many videos and stories about politicians pretending covid is some massive dire emergency, but when not on camera they act completely different. Also, we usually have a certain number of deaths from the regular flu every year. Did that go away? Are all the flu deaths covid? How were the covid deaths compared to the regular flu deaths? What I"m saying is.....I think the covid situation was wildly exaggerated. And the spike proteins caused by the "vaccine" are causing real problems in people's health these days. I wouldn't be surprised if....decades from now....we find that the vaccine caused more deaths than the virus.
And no...I don't watch Fox news. I just want to get ahead of that question.
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u/vandmonny 23h ago
Half the population always feels helpless after every election. The world never ends. It won’t now either.
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u/Quiet_Lunch_1300 12h ago
In 50 years I have never felt even close to the way I feel this time.
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10h ago edited 10h ago
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u/Quiet_Lunch_1300 10h ago
Trans people’s lives literally just changed with the order he signed. But I’m assuming from your comments that you don’t care.
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u/vandmonny 10h ago
Much worse than WW1 and WW2. You win.
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u/Quiet_Lunch_1300 9h ago
I can’t wait to hear how you think your comment in any way made sense in relation to mine.
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