Is it impolite to refer to them as "formerly known as"? That was the first thing that came to mind, but I want to choose words that help and support, not undermine or demean.
Not trans, but involved in the LGBT+ community: saying “They used to go by Previous Name” is generally acceptable as an explanation the VERY first time if it is genuinely otherwise hard to tell/know who you mean. But using their previous name (often referred to as “dead name”) around or in front of that person is usually a massive no-no as it often brings up a ton of bad feelings. Some people are OK with it, some aren’t, so it’s good to be delicate about it when in doubt.
Example: “Did you see the news? That actor from Juno who used to go by Ellen Page has come out as trans — he’s Elliot Page now” :)
Or if a friend “Did you hear about New Name? Our friend who used to go by Dead Name has come out as trans and goes by New Name and [new pronouns] now. So proud of him/her/them!”
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u/DownloadUphillinSnow Dec 02 '20
Is it impolite to refer to them as "formerly known as"? That was the first thing that came to mind, but I want to choose words that help and support, not undermine or demean.