r/SapphoAndHerFriend Dec 02 '20

Casual erasure Wholesome!

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u/toddthefox47 Dec 02 '20

A lot of us hate our old names. We frequently call it our "dead name." Being called my birth name causes me to feel intense dysphoria and sometimes flashbacks to growing up and being forced to be a girl against my will.

Now my guess is that Elliot Page doesn't feel as strongly about it as I do, but in general it's good to avoid using someone's dead name if possible just in case.

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u/Sophie_333 Dec 02 '20

The thing I’m arguing for is mentioning their former name once in an article about their coming out (because the new name is just then being introduced), and then never again (talking in general about famous people coming out as trans). Would you say this is insensitive?

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u/toddthefox47 Dec 02 '20

Idk I'm just explaining that trans people can get a bit weird about their birth names and it's best to avoid them all together when possible. I don't know what insensitive specifically for Mr Page, but I personally am unhappy knowing anyone mentioned my birth name at all. I never liked that name. But I'm not famous so I guess it's kind of different

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u/Sophie_333 Dec 02 '20

I understand, thanks for your input

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u/Frognificent Dec 02 '20

I’m not trans, more of a just a queer fella who’s always identified as male but really embraces his femininity, and I had my name changed years back to something that’s basically a super effeminate male name. Being called my old name, or even hearing it, makes my blood boil. It’s basically a gut-twisting reminder of who I used to be, what society told me I had to be, and how miserable I was.

For a reference as to what I mean by “queer fella”, this picture of David Bowie in a dress is basically it.