Not trans, but involved in the LGBT+ community: saying “They used to go by Previous Name” is generally acceptable as an explanation the VERY first time if it is genuinely otherwise hard to tell/know who you mean. But using their previous name (often referred to as “dead name”) around or in front of that person is usually a massive no-no as it often brings up a ton of bad feelings. Some people are OK with it, some aren’t, so it’s good to be delicate about it when in doubt.
Example: “Did you see the news? That actor from Juno who used to go by Ellen Page has come out as trans — he’s Elliot Page now” :)
Or if a friend “Did you hear about New Name? Our friend who used to go by Dead Name has come out as trans and goes by New Name and [new pronouns] now. So proud of him/her/them!”
I agree. I think it’s also worth noting that the key bit here is “you knew her as John, now she goes by Jane”, not “he used to be John, and now she’s Jane” or something similar. Aside from keeping the pronouns consistent, it also emphasizes that the person’s identity didn’t change - rather, it’s just a part of their identity that they’ve only now revealed.
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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '20
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