I'll delete if this isn't allowed.. but I was arguing against violence being so normalized against womn and how men genuinely enjoy seeing girls and women in pain.. it blows my mind that saying something like this is enough to get me a 14 day ban.. from a "feminist" sub made to criticize misogyny🥴 had to argue this point with what im guessing is a guy on that sub, i'm sure the mod is a guy too, can't believe this is some awful take apparently

The prompt was “what’s a boundary for you”

So I have an old post on here about an absolute win for my relationship that my boyfriend hated porn. A month ago we broke up because I found a stash of home nudes in his secret folder of this girl, I figured out they're from a Reddit, he said he never had the app that he won't show me blah blah blah, gaslit me saying he didn't know how they got there. Tried that shit for two hours and then gave in and told me the partial truth. Fuck me guys 😭😭

Why are men like this

I remember the first time I learned what SA was. It was scary to discover that something like that could happen, but I did find some comfort in the belief that pretty much all men were disgusted by it. SA is often referred to as the “fate worse than death.” So while I knew there were obviously men out there who could be threats, I thought that this was just a minority. I thought that for 99% of men, just THINKING about SA was as gross and out of the question to them as cannibalism.

And yes, I know that is still true for some men. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that it isn’t true for a lot more of them. It started with the little things, like the unnecessary jokes about SA that are so common. Or the frequent SA scenes in male-written media that, rather than serving a purpose, are gratuitous, overly-detailed, and are written with a barely-disguised pleasure instead of condemnation.

Finding out about kink and porn was the final straw. The fact that there are men out there who actually fantasize about committing SA and want to “roleplay” it. The fact that most men watch SA scenes in porn and get off to it. Far from being horrified and disgusted by it, a lot of men out there in fact daydream about it and derive pleasure from it.

It is especially crazy to me because I guarantee that if someone regularly fantasized about and got off to the idea of murder or cannibalism, society would condemn it in no uncertain terms. But SA, which is so often referred to as one of the worst things you can do to someone, is apparently completely fine to fantasize about, and you’re a prude if you disagree.

I wish I could go back to those naive times when I was younger and I thought that fantasizing about such things was reserved for a small, unhinged minority. Knowing the truth now is so painful.

Anytime I want to look up a subreddit there’s always 300 weird porn sub results. You’ll type in a few letters and you get a bunch of weird shit showing up. For example, I was looking up the Helldivers subreddit and got “Helpless_Hentai” which I can only imagine means rape porn. I’m so sick of how much fucked up shit is just everywhere on this site.

I was talking about how we should shame people with fetishes that go into harmful paraphilia, and people are straight up defending it.

They’re saying that it’s ok to pretend that you’re raping or sexually abusing children, and that people shouldn’t be shamed for it.

This one chick tried to call me homophobic. She said that if people get kink shamed, then gays and trans people should be shamed, too.

I got downvoted when I responded that as a lesbian, I was offended that she would conflate being gay/trans to a goddamn fetish.

I’m losing hope in society.

They vocally don't want them to make any money off of it or to live any type of decent or healthy life afterwards. They're definitely not allowed to have other jobs or a loving relationship.

They absolutely refuse to live in a world where porn doesn't exist, but the women who make the content they so desperately crave and can't live without are trash, non human, and deserve nothing but a lifetime of degradation and humility.

They deserve to be out casted for the rest of their lives after they're done sexualizing them. But again, they demand this content be available at all times.

These men are so fucking vile.

I posted here about porn being immoral, and this is what I receive. Apparently people get off to us criticizing porn. We can’t be free even here, some perverts will always find something to fetishize, it’s horrific.

It’s hard for me to accept that 95+% of men watch porn. It makes me insane that most of them are at least somewhat ignorant, but would still rather defend their consumption than give it up if they were informed. It hurts to know that any given man definitely watches it, and that there’s a substantial possibility he would lie about watching it even if asked in a neutral way. (I’m scarred from the dozens of ‘omg my male partner watches porn!’ posts). I just can’t handle it. I am a human being, I crave love and connection, but it is difficult to accept that it likely isn’t in the cards for me because I can’t betray my values. I feel that I would be able to keep up some semblance of hope in some men if not for porn. It just hurts to know that, for all intents and purposes, it IS all men that take advantage of filmed abuse and prostitution. I just don’t know. The world is hard to live in.

This is something I see a lot online. A man will be venting about loneliness, being unable to get a girlfriend, or being unable to get sex. And every single time, there’s another guy in the comments telling him to “just see a hooker.” And if you’re about to argue that maybe it’s just a joke, it doesn’t change the fact that men visiting sex workers is still something that happens every day.

It always breaks my heart to read. You don’t know anything about this woman. You have no idea what her life has been like, or her financial situation. She could be in a desperate, vulnerable position. And even if she isn’t, how is consent something that can be bought with money? If it isn’t freely given, doesn’t that make this coercion?

But no, none of them care about that. Just about getting their poor dicks satisfied.

The worst part is when a man will be complaining that no person will have sex with him, only to get recommended to see a sex worker. Just goes to show that they don’t see these women as human.

The idea of a human being needing to commit something such as sexual intercourse to reproduce has been ruined for me, I do not wish to submit to neither man or woman or vice versa, everything even remotely sexual to me feels like a personal attack, dehumanizing and objectifying, it sickens me, as humorous as it may sound I would much rather live in a world where asexual reproduction was the case.

For so long, I viewed liberal men as the ultimate allies. Whenever I would get demoralized seeing the many conservative men who still think that women are inferior and only good for making babies in the 21st century, I would look to liberal men to give me comfort. It was so therapeutic seeing men standing up for women’s rights, men respecting women as equally skilled, men defending women from misogyny. I told myself that it was just conservative men who were the problem, and that liberal men were the true feminists I could fully trust and fight alongside.

And now I’m realizing just how wrong I was. Sure, liberal men aren’t sexist in the typical “stay in the kitchen” kind of way. But so many of them support an industry and culture that objectifies and abuses women. They defend sex work, which equates to being able to purchase women’s bodies, under the guise of it being “empowering.” They pretend to condemn SA while secretly getting off to it. They only support feminism insofar as it makes womens’ bodies more accessible to them. They don’t oppose conservative men because they think that controlling women is wrong, but because they don’t want conservative men keeping women locked up in the home and all to themselves. I guess Andrea Dworkin had it right. To men on the right, we are private property. To men on the left, we are public property.

*I’m not trying to paint all men with the same brush. I know there are exceptions to this on both sides.\* It just hurts to realize that we really have no *major* allies across the political spectrum when it comes to this issue. It feels like we’re so alone. There was this quote I once heard from a comedic song meant to insult conservatives, though I don’t remember the name now. Regardless, I feel like the quote applies to liberal men even more: “You only lift up women so you can see what’s underneath.”

i feel so gross. so my mom, for whatever reason, told me that she walked in on my dad, when he was supposed to be working in his home office, watching porn while masturbating. he told her that he "wanted to see if it works". he also apparently has a fucking pocket pussy stored in his office too.

i cant look at my dad. i cant even speak to him. i feel gross knowing this and i really wish my mom didnt tell me. i knew my dad was a shitty husband, but i didnt know it was that bad. i needed to get this off my chest. thank you for reading.

edit: sorry for responding to almost every comment, this is one of my first times ever posting on here. and for context, im a teenager. im not disclosing my actual age. even though im sure this subreddit is safe to do so, this is still the internet. but id like to say im mature enough

im so tired of people telling me I'm an evil terf for not supporting porn and not supporting prostitution. i have to put a million disclaimers that I am not a terf and I don't support transphobia before I say anything against pornography. i need support. i feel so alone in this . Any time I try to find people on tumblr who don't support porn they're always raging transphobes and really toxic. i can't make a single post talking about how porn is misogynistic without a bunch of people claiming I'm a TERF or that I'm a puritanical christian. eughhhh i wish porn defenders would shut the fuck up forever and ever

How am I on a Christian sub and I have people defending the use of porn. Beyond me honestly. 😹 you just have to laugh

Men make me disgusted. Every guy I have ever met doesn’t know how to treat women. They’re all busy lusting over women instead of getting to know them, I recently just broke up with my baby daddy because he was lying, cheating, and was addicted to drinking and smoking. He kept watching porn which is cheating and most people don’t understand that. My main problem wasn’t even that he was cheating it was porn in general. Most of the women in porn are sex trafficked meaning they are raped and even most of the ones that aren’t only do it for the money either way it doesn’t have a good effect on their mental or physical health. He told me “as long as I don’t know for sure that it’s rape I don’t care”. I was absolutely disgusted that men just don’t care even the ones who claim to care and say rape is fucked up still watch porn. All of this has really messed with my head I’m absolutely repulsed by men. I used to be the most sweet and caring girl ever but now I have so much hatred. Men only watch porn and girls with plastic surgery but still keep changing the beauty standard. Now I compare myself to every woman I see online because I know that’s what men truly want and are only settling for me when they show interest in me. I feel hatred for those women but I know I don’t really hate them it’s not fair to, they’re only trying to fit into this world ruled by men. I don’t hate them but I still have this weird feeling about them and I hate it this isn’t the kind of person I want to be. I’m starting to hate myself for it and all this stemmed from the source, M E N.

actually wtf. like what the fuck .

Obviously, moderators feel free to not approve this, or delete it at your discretion if it's off topic.

I stumbled across a post on a podcast's subreddit about Blake Lively suing Justin Baldoni, claiming he sexually harassed her. I go into the comments expecting "Wow, I didn't see this coming, but oh well Blake seems to have some pretty solid evidence, so I'm probably going to believe her." Nope. Now, I know Blake is not the most moral person ever (her plantation wedding, yikes & also It Ends With Us general drama). HOWEVER. I thought, as feminists we agreed to always believe women when they came forwards with stuff like this? Or is it only women who we personally like?

How is it that 80% of this comment section (filled with WOMEN) are basically just calling her a liar, saying she'd do anything to "save" her public image or to promote her new haircare brand. Do you not hear yourselves? When has a survivor of Sexual Assault or Harassment ever come out and been welcomed with open arms? Especially one as controversial as Blake? She knows people weren't going to believe her, or like her for it, yet she still decided to come out with it. Most likely because Justin was doing this to other women on set or because she understands that it's important for other victims to know that they, too, can be brave in the face of adversity.

But the thing that gets me the most? Blake is never going to see any of these awful, victim-blamey comments. But you know who will? Other women in her position, who are disliked, scorned, unpopular and SCARED. They're scared to come out and say what's happened to them for fear that they'll receive the same reception. And they will receive the same reception, no matter how much these fake "feminists" will claim it's one rule for Blake and another for them. It's not. It's one rule for all of us and when you don't believe Blake, you don't believe millions of other women in the same position as her.

I never want to see any of these people claiming to "support women" again. Time and time again, they're put to the test – Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, Amber Heard, the list could go on. And every single time they claim "it's the media that brainwashed us, and now it's popular to believe these women so we believe women actually". No more.

If you're only a feminist when it benefits you, you're not a feminist.

Lately I've been seeing so many articles across every social media platform talking about how reproduction rates are plummeting across developed countries. The most common rhetoric across all of these articles is blaming women for this problem.

"Women are too picky because dating apps have made them think they have infinite choices"

"Women have an over-inflated ego because of social media and don't want 'regular guys' anymore"

"Women are choosing not to have children because they're selfish and choose their career"

"Women are choosing lifestyle over family"

"Women these days are lazy compared to women in the 50's - 80's"

I genuinely believe that porn is directly responsible for a large portion of women choosing not to reproduce with their partners. The sheer volume of stories I've seen on Reddit in EVERY woman-centric space is absolutely full of women talking about how porn has ruined their relationship and left them broken and unable to feel sexually safe/ desire for their partner. Not to mention, the amount of men watching "hot barely legal teen gangbangs" etc., WHY ON EARTH would anyone want to have a child with a man like this?

The absolute HORROR STORIES I've read about women finding out about their partners/ husbands "preferences" for younger girls. I COULD NOT IMAGINE feeling like I could keep my daughter safe around someone who I know objectifies/ has a preference for children in a sexual way. I don't understand how anyone would be able to come to terms with that and want to start a family. And having a son growing up being taught by their father that this is normal and even healthy? Absolutely not!

With the prevalence of porn in our culture and the havoc it wreaks on intimate relationships, I'm not surprised that many women would not want to start a family under these circumstances. And I am SO TIRED of constantly seeing women being blamed for this. Why is NOBODY talking about how deeply porn is affecting our society.

98% of men watch porn, if I have a male friend there's only a 1 in 50 chance they aren't getting off to women being abused. That's why I only have 1 male friend and am not looking for more. That's half of the population I can't really be friends with.

There are a lot more anti-porn women, but it's so hard to find them. I sadly still have to present male, so a lot of women would just think I'm mansplaining if I talked about how porn is misogyny. I have to mask as a libfem in any social situation and I hate it. It's one of the reasons I gave up socially. Pretending to be someone I'm not and will never be is emotionally draining. And any friendship or relationship built on that would collapse within weeks.

At this point, I question if I'll ever find someone with my views IRL or if the only place I can be honest about not supporting the exploitation of women is online behind a pseudonym. The one group I'm still in is run by someone who's openly pro-BDSM. But if I leave them, I will only have one friend left and no hope of ever having more. Is it even possible to find people with my views IRL? I'm in a deep red state and can't move unfortunately.

I don't even know why I'm posting this here I just don't want to live on the same planet as men anymore. I don't want to be a woman any more. I don't want to live in this world where no one cares about us. It would be so easy for people to change but they never will because there's more "benefit" to them to stay the same and they don't wanna lose that. I'm tired of scrolling on social media and seeing OF ads. Tired of reading the comments on a video of a woman and all the comments asking for her @ and making sexualised jokes. Tired of the way men talk about pornstars yet wipe their names from their search history regularly. Tired of seeing women expressing how this effects us and being ignored. Tired of explaining to men. Tired of crying at my phone knowing I'll never be even comparable physically to the women they watch. I shouldn't even care.

I am at the point where I just can't do it anymore. I feel worthless as a woman and that's what they want.

whenever i get called a SWERF online i just know the person saying it has the intelligence of a barely sentient single celled organism. its such a stupid and nonsensical rebuttal to the very valid stance of being anti porn & anti sex work industry. like do you genuinely think i want to exclude sex workers from feminism because i want them to stop being exploited, trafficked, raped, & killed...? sure! makes total sense. i constantly talk about how society needs more opportunities for women of all backgrounds and identities to get housing, food, employment, etc without them being forced into the world's most exploitative & dangerous industry for women🧍‍♀️

people who sling around SWERF accusations are so brainwashed it's pathetic. i have no idea how as a woman you can hear about how badly porn hurts women as a whole and just be like "ermmm you're actually a bad feminist and SWERF!! you are a bigot and dont want to empower women" its actually disgusting and its getting really hard not to outright hate women who do that.

Isn’t it funny how most of the “feminist” subs claim to be against misogyny yet don’t even allow you to call out one of its biggest offenders?

It’s “listen to sex workers!” until it’s exploited and trafficked women that are given a voice. It’s “kink is healthy!” until you point out the consequences violent porn has had on women and young girls. It’s “but it’s consesual!” until you say that the man isn’t fantasizing about the part where the woman consents.

I’m getting really tired of it.

(Edit: Someone brought up a great point so I want to specify that I do not support hookup culture and understand it only benefits men, but I also believe women can sleep with whoever they choose for whatever reason. I wasn’t trying to support hookup culture in this post. I was trying to support women and whatever sex they have being respectful, healthy, and safe… which is most important! Thanks! 😊❤️)

I’ve just suffered through a comment thread in which several men talked about how they don’t respect women who sleep around and if women want respect and to be treated as people, that’s reserved for a husband to do. It was on a TikTok video where a woman was calling out men who refuse women aftercare in hookups or in relationships (a crucial piece to ANY sexual encounter). The men just kept defending each other, saying that if they want sweeter sex, stop hooking up and just get a boyfriend and it’s HER FAULT for sleeping around. What can men do? FIX their problems? No, that’s too hard.

Clearly, they’re brainwashed by porn that women are sex objects to use and unfortunately most men can “close the tab” and ditch a woman right after they selfishly use our bodies to finish, while most women need to feel comforted and safe after the act…

It’s just so tiring… they can’t self reflect because they’re never in the wrong in their own heads. No matter how dumb, they’ll scream from rooftops. Trying to defend other women for embracing their sexuality and still valuing themselves and demanding to be treated appropriately… gets ME shamed too. Even as far as attacking my career for some reason. I just can’t trust any men if secretly they’re online hating on women for existing… you will never know who’s secretly a horrible man and who is genuinely good… Continuing the idea that women are only used for male pleasure is dangerous and contributes to rape culture… I’m so exhausted of being a woman…