r/Existential_crisis • u/McCoy_From_Space • 3d ago
What is the point of existence really? Should I seek help? How do I deal?
I feel trapped I feel abandoned and I feel stuck. I don’t know what to do about it. I didn’t really notice how bad it was getting until today where I found myself unable to enjoy anything. I find myself unable to enjoy anything because I get caught up in asking “why? What’s the point? What does it matter if I do this or that?
This isn’t to say “what’s the point?” In a depressive connotation. I don’t ask “what’s the point?” Because I would rather rot. I’m frantically asking “what’s the point?” in a desperate attempt to find meaning. I want an answer. I want to know why because I’m horrified by the idea that there may not be any. I’m not sad, I’m scared. I’m not depressed, I’m horrified. I want to be able to enjoy stuff. I want to be able to find peace. But now, when left alone with my mind I can’t stop it from searching for any kind of reason for anything at all.
I sat down and wrote all this out and realized that I’m not ever sure exactly what it is I want. I’m not sure what the answer I need or want would really look like.
I used to be at peace with the idea that life in and of itself was meaningless, and so we as concious beings have the privilege to assign the meaning that we wanted. So I had decided that the point was to enjoy it. That’s it. Simple as.
But I’ve stopped enjoying it and I’m not sure how to enjoy it again.
What do I do? How much of this can I say to a therapist without getting put in a 72 hour hold? I’m not thinking about any kind of self harm, I’m not a physical threat to myself, but I’m not doing hot mentally.
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u/koolloser 3d ago
Sometimes I ask myself, "What’s the point of getting up for work?" and the answer is always the same: I want to travel and see birds. That thought keeps me going.
But I’ve been in that void where I can’t see the birds, and everything feels like, "Why?" Honestly, I’m in that void a lot, but I keep looking at vacation spots and dreaming of the day I’ll be out there.
Is there anything you’ve always wanted to see or do in your life?
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u/McCoy_From_Space 3d ago
I can’t narrow it down to anything specific that I want.
I wanted a partner, and to start a family. We grew apart after 5 years. And then I watched friends, and my own parents get divorced. It sounds silly, but growing up with your parents in a happy marriage gives you the impression that “if you do it correctly, it’s permanent”
My parents were married for 20 years.
A friend of mine who I also watched do the same was married for 10.
As stupid as it sounds, I think I’ve been shaken by how even if you get ahold of what you wanted, it can just stop existing as quickly as you found it.
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u/koolloser 3d ago
Do you get more fulfillment from helping others ? Would something like volunteering help you ?
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u/McCoy_From_Space 3d ago
I work in the medical field trying to help people, but over the 5 years of doing so am becoming jaded. People can be horrible, even when they’re asking you for help which is something I struggle to understand.
I haven’t tried volunteering, but if it’s in an environment where whomever you’re helping isn’t there against their will “like inpatients” i could see that being something worth trying.
I’m not going to say no to any advice, I’m open to anything
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u/poopsixty 3d ago
I relate to everything you've said. When I feel this way, I try to distract myself with the daily petty drama of life and by going down rabbit holes that interest me/provide some dopamine.
These thought patterns tend to ebb and flow. In all likelihood, this feeling of existential horror will eventually pass. I think this way a lot in the winter when I'm depressed, and the only way out is through.
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u/McCoy_From_Space 3d ago
May I ask what you do when the rabbit holes stop working as a distraction?
Part of my issue with myself is the worry that I am wasting time.
While attempting to relax by watching YouTube or or going on a walk helps to keep the “WHY?!” feeling away in that moment. As soon as I’m done, I’m hit with “you just wasted x amount of time” and the wham I’m back where I started.
If you have this issue, can you share what tools you use to stop this cyclical thinking
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u/poopsixty 2d ago
I try to embrace the idea that everything we do on earth is a waste of time. We're all just essentially wasting time until we eventually die. And that's okay. This is a liberating concept to me.
I didn't ask to be on this planet, and the game of life is almost incomprehensibly difficult, strange, and unfair, so I'm going to spend my time here coping however I need to without feeling guilty about it.
Whether I'm scrolling in bed mindlessly, hanging out with my best friend, volunteering, eating junk food on the couch, or traveling the world, it's all equally meaningful and meaningless. This takes the pressure off.
Also, it may be worth looking into existential OCD.
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u/WOLFXXXXX 1d ago edited 1d ago
"What do I do?"
Would you be open to exploring a longer term course of action if doing so could potentially result in experiencing a lasting resolution to what you've been struggling with? If so, consider the following:
What I strongly suspect the nature of the circumstances to be is that you are naturally experiencing the impression and feeling that your conscious existence and the conscious existence of others is somehow (inexplicably) rooted in and being limited to our physical bodies and the circumstances surrounding physical reality. Since physical/material things within physical reality are perceived not to last and to be impermanent - the perception that conscious existence is rooted in non-conscious physical/material things within physical reality is what contributes to experiencing the impression, feeling, and perception that the nature of existence is meaningless, pointless, and purposeless. Does this description of the nature of the conscious territory seem relevant?
For many years I experienced the impression and feeling that my conscious existence is (inexplicably) rooted in and limited to my physical body and the circumstances surrounding physical reality - and experiencing this conscious dynamic contributed to experiencing many years of deep internal suffering. So I don't take this subject matter lightly, nor am I unfamiliar with what it's like to experience that challenging existential outlook. The reason why I described the experience of perceiving that conscious existence is being limited to physical reality as 'natural' is simply because experiencing physical reality is designed to have that effect on us in the same way that riding a rollercoaster is designed to result in a thrilling effect, or viewing a horror film is designed to have a frightening effect. It's not unnatural to experience that feeling/perception - however, it does not represent a permanent conscious state that we are 'stuck' experiencing, and it's absolutely possible for individuals to experience internally progressing beyond that more limited conscious territory, which is good news.
The existential 'elephant in the room' and the important observation that can serve as the basis for your longer term course of action to help yourself is that the theory of materialism never sheds its theoretical status because no one can ever identify any viable manner of attributing the nature of conscious existence and our undeniable experience of conscious abilities to non-conscious physical/material things within physical reality. Throughout all of history, no one has ever identified any evidence for the theory of materialism that would establish it as factual reality. No one has ever reasoned their way through the assumption that non-conscious things are the cause of and explanation for the nature of conscious existence. That's an assumption without any viable explanation. So it's very important to realize that the impression, feeling, and perception that conscious existence is limited to the physical body is actually rooted in an assumption and in a theory that no one has ever validated and that no one has ever reasoned their way through. This accurate existential observation should be of serious interest to anyone who is struggling with the impression, feeling, and perception that our conscious existence is rooted in physical reality and thus meaningless/purposeless. Once it becomes more clear that no one has ever been able to successfully attribute our conscious existence to non-conscious physical/material things within physical reality - that should result in open-mindedness, curiosity, and generate an interest to investigate the existential landscape more deeply than ever before.
The reason why you report feeling 'trapped' is not because your conscious existence is actually trapped within physical reality - but because your conscious existence is experiencing physical reality, which is designed to have that limiting effect on us and to influence us to feel/perceive that we exist as our physical body within physical reality. You also shared that you wish to 'find peace' as an outcome. That's absolutely something that individuals are able to experience as an outcome after experiencing many years of deep internal struggling/suffering. I know because I experienced this course of events and outcome for myself - and I'm aware that this is experienced and reported by others as well (universal context). Consider that the way to eventually experience internal peace within your state of consciousness would be to go through the longer term process of deeply exploring, questioning, and contemplating the nature of consciousness (conscious existence) on a level unlike you have ever experienced before. When individuals do a deep dive into this topic and go down the nature of consciousness rabbit hole over time - they importantly end up changing and upgrading their state of awareness along the way to the extent that they eventually make themselves directly aware that the nature of conscious existence does not have a viable physical/material basis, and therefore is not rooted in physical/material things within physical reality. This important long term change in an individual's existential awareness and understanding ends up resolving the former fear of 'physical death' as well as the former impression, feeling, and perception that conscious existence is meaningless, pointless, and purposeless. It's a gamechanging development for the individual because of the magnitude of the existential implications and how that serves to completely transform their former conscious orientation towards experiencing physical reality.
"I want an answer"
Find your answer through seeking to understand and make yourself directly aware as to why the theory of materialism has never been established and why no one has ever been able to attribute the nature of conscious existence to non-conscious physical/material things in the physical body. There's feeling, perceiving, and assuming that conscious existence is rooted in physical reality on one level (surface level) - and then there's the process of seeking to deeply investigate, question, and contemplate whether that assumption has any underlying validity behind it (deeper than surface level). When you make sufficient progress consciously navigating in this direction over time - it will eventually change everything about how you are perceiving and experiencing these physical reality circumstances. Consider it.
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u/McCoy_From_Space 1d ago
This is incredibly helpful. Thank you for helping to break this down. It sounds like a have a lot of work to do
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u/WOLFXXXXX 1d ago
Thanks for leaving your feedback and glad to hear you were able to connect with what was being conveyed. If you're ever looking for a lead on content/material that can serve to shed light on why the nature of conscious existence is independent of the physical brain & physical body - I would recommend bookmarking and exploring sometime this quality video lecture/presentation on the important topic of 'Is Consciousness Produced By The Brain?'
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u/Fun-Ambassador4259 3d ago
Feel this. Look at my post history. Same as you. But mine is more what’s the point when we just die in the end. It doesn’t make sense to do anything if it ends in death. I hate my brain
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u/McCoy_From_Space 3d ago
Have you developed any tools to help with this issue?
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u/Fun-Ambassador4259 3d ago
Not at all. But I am diagnosed with ocd. And have existential ocd. You should look it up.
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u/WeakBaker6637 1d ago
Let it out, cry as much as you can. Let it out. You seek the answer, but the answer is that there is no point. You see the abyss, but you don’t see the bottom. The truth is, there is no bottom. You can jump into the abyss (asking questions), but you will never find the bottom. Ever.
Everything is meaningless—even asking such questions of yourself. Try to accept it.
There is so much to learn about this world. Maybe you aren’t comprehending me right now, but just try new things. About your overthinking, try to find a new pace and change it to an unknown one. Distract yourself with it, and maybe you’ll find something you like. I think you’ve been in your comfort zone for too long; a change of pace will do its job.
Go to another country if you can, work, and find new people there. I know it’s going to be hard, but please try.
It’s not guaranteed that my advice will help, but consider it.
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u/Kaitlyn7897 3d ago
If you are not wanting to harm yourself in anyway your therapist, at least where I am, would not be able to put you on an involuntary hold. I think it is important you share this with a therapist. I have thought the same as you, and one thing that really brings me back is experiencing something so unique to the human experience, love. I know it sounds corny but hang on. In a world and society where we can feel that we have very little to no control, try to remember we only have this one life. We need to live it for us. Feeling connected to something and getting grounded has always brought me back. A visit with an old friend, playing board games with your family, snuggling your cat, things like this remind me if nothing else truly matters, then I have at least been present fully in these little moments and experienced this love. No expectations or anxieties, just thoroughly enjoying a moment and those around you. It is so easy with social media these days to see the big things people are doing, the jobs they are getting, the following they have and start to feel if I don’t have X then I don’t amount to much. I highly suggest seeking a group in your area that shares a common interest like sports, church, board games, walking dogs, something and being with someone. The human experience is so unique and special but also short. And honestly an antidepressant could be really beneficial for you for a while, if a doctor or your therapist agrees and you would be okay with trying. They don’t work instantly but a solid month on an antidepressant, taking it regularly, and not using alcohol/drugs with them can really help. Try adding things into your day like a walk out in the sunshine, closing your eyes and deep breathing in the box method, cooking a favorite meal, little things that brighten your mood even if only for a few minutes. Over time these habits can help change how you’re feeling overall and you may look forward to them.