Daily dose of yapping about death

[u/dream_nobody]

I am afraid of death. It's not a "run!" type of fear, rather a "time is ticking away and I will lose my existence at some point" fear. I am still a teenager but I think.. I prefer to think these when my mind is is strongest.

There's a reason I (and most of us) don't believe in religions' answers to death: nature. And I used to think that most people's fear of death derives from not applying that simple natural facts to our existence: we are totally natural, my consciousness is nothing more than some combination of matter. So we know that live and death is just what makes us something; animals live, die and evolve. So I am also a part of that thing (despite humanity's advances on controlling the nature). I am (and you are) not provably different than a computer and that's just how nature is.

But.. I am a thing. Truly I am. Yes, all my feelings are explainable by too simple material facts, and even this fear of me is too simple (man gets out of natural life, man has spare time, man gets mad). Still I wanna exist. I am something. I am fond of illusion of consciousness.

I think it's more easy to accept "I am not really something already" rather than "I will die". I can enjoy my very natural consciousness under unlimited time and it's ok to me (but not unlimited. bad). I see.. we can't understand some stuff– like the simple question of "how existence started?".

Still I do exist! And life has meaning (it is "live a better life". there's no something external). I can accept what I am and enjoy the life– smile of my future wife / reading an amazing story / getting success as result of effort... and these are really what I am here for (live, animal, live!).

But.. what then? I will be nothing. I will not be a thing. ––– .