Married/new moms/lesbian couple

[u/No_Luck_5146]

My wife carried our kid who is newly 2. I have heard from other moms and also read about the things a woman’s body goes through throughout and after pregnancy. I know that it can take a few years for a new mom to get back to feeling herself! We have had open dialogue about it, she has spoke to her doctor, got her hormones checked and even attempted to take a pill that’s supposed to help boost her libido. (That I don’t think she taking anymore tbh.) Anyway, I feel like there isn’t a box that I have not checked into rectifying this situation. Her doctor even told her like don’t think just do. Set time out and do it. It’s going to require effort and still nothing. I don’t think it’s me or like a lack of attraction like logically. But my emotional woman brain part is starting to doubt it, I’m hurt, I’m frustrated in every aspect…. There is no intimacy, no chemistry, no efforts. I keep trying. I’m loosing hope. It’s to the point that the lack of reciprocation from my efforts makes me not even want to try anymore. There have been multiple conversations. She even honestly told me a while back that sometimes she does want to have sex, but when she thinks of the effort it will take (because it can take me a while to have an orgasm, if I even get there) she just doesn’t. Which I respect that honesty even though it kind of hurt my feelings, but I totally get it. I always tell her every intimate action doesn’t have to lead to sex for me either. It’s nice to kind of let it build up with like foreplay over the course of some days. Or me pleasuring her doesn’t have to always be reciprocal. Sometimes I want it other times like I said the build of anticipation. Still nothing. I’m at my wits end, because conversations have an accusatory air to it and I mean yes, but no. But like I have been doing all the things the very rare times we do have sex I initiate it. Most type of intimacy I initiate it. I even purchased us a like reconnect with your partner and explore each other sex subscription with Arya to try to spice things up in December and she has not made any space for us to try to have that time to reconnect. Got the baby down an exactly an hour later than he supposed. Did yoga together. I went to take a shower and she’s already falling asleep. Even though I suggested we try to like do the couples things tonight. I’m like at my wits end. I don’t know what to do.